'To my dear George,'
The letter began.
'If you are reading this it's because I have left. You are the most terrific man I've ever met. Before I met you, I had no purpose in life. No reason, no desire to live another day. I hated myself. I hated my life. I hated everything. When you knocked on my door that one day, my heart jumped. It had to have taken you a long while to track me down and no one had ever put that much effort into me.
From that day forward, I had a purpose, a reason, a desire to live. You. You George, singlehandedly changed every aspect of my life. You showed me sunshine where I saw only clouds. You showed me laughter when before I'd saw only pain.
After every single painful, scary thing I had gone through, there was one thing I could always always count on. And that was you. Planted firmly by my side. Your unfailing love helped me push through the darkest of times. If I hadn't met you, I would have left this earth a long while ago. I wouldn't have married. I wouldn't have believed in true love. I wouldn't have had a beautiful little girl. I wouldn't have had anything. You gave me everything George. Though I never felt like I "owed" you. Buying gifts and showering money on things is how you expressed love. You gave me everything not because you felt like you had to. You gave me everything because you loved me and never wanted me to be without anything. I sit here for hours trying to best word how grateful I am for my life with you but there isn't a single word or sequence of words that can do it. It's just something I feel inside. You're truly one of a kind, George. I'm terribly sorry things had to go this way. I cry every day wishing I could spend eternity with you. But I can't. There comes a time when a good thing must end. Eventually all good things come to a conclusion. And this is ours.
I love you, George. With all my heart and more. I want you to give Allison the love you gave me. Shower her with that affection you've perfected. My heart aches for you. I am dreadfully sad to go. I had a miraculous ending of my life. All thanks to you.
If I had to guess, there's at least one of the lads, if not more, over right now. You have amazing friends, don't let them go. I know right now must be hard but they truly are there for anything you need. Send the kids off and crack some beers in my honor. I would very much appreciate it.
I finish with this; you gave me life, you gave me love, you showed me peace on this earth. I can no longer be physically with you but I will be forever spiritually by your side. I hope someday, you'll be able to wake up without being overcome with sadness. I hope our Allison grows up tall and beautiful. I hope you stay forever close to your friends. And I hope one day you can love again.
I love you always, George Harold.
Love you always.
Sincerely,
Your Kara Bear
xxx'
I wipe my eyes as I refold Kara's letter. I stick it in my jeans pockets. I stand and collect myself before heading downstairs.
"Hey pal!" Paul says when I walk into the kitchen.
I wave as everyone else says hellos.
"Was just about to come searching for you." Ringo says.
I don't say anything. I go into the fridge and pull out 8 bottles. I walk to the table and pass them around. Everybody takes a beer. There's one left over. I open it and put it in front of the only empty chair at the table.
Everybody is silent as they watch.
I open my beer before offering the opener to Ringo. He takes it, cracking his and Maureen's before passing it to Paul.
Once everyone's beers are opened, I raise my bottle.
"This is what she would have wanted." I say, voice cracking at the words.
Everybody raises their bottles and clink them with each other. John lifts the bottle that's at the spot Kara would be sitting. He hands it to me. I hold it while everyone clinks theirs to it. I set it back down in front of the chair.
The group begins discussing things, lighter, more happy topics.
I sit and listen, nodding my head and occasionally offering my opinion, all the while, feeling the safety of Kara's note in my pocket.
