Dangerous Love

Chapter 10

The nurse looked through her files and nodded, ticking something and writing down some more notes. She obviously knew that she had cancer, so why didn't she just tell me at the beginning of this conversation?

My whole world fell and everything came crashing down on me. My face fell flat and I blinked, water plummeting from my eyes. Everything became blurred as the tears fell swiftly. I couldn't say anything and I was left speechless. I wailed and covered my face with my hands. ''Are you being serious? Why didn't I know?''

''I thought she told you, but when we were talking in the shop the other day, you didn't say anything about it so I figured she didn't tell you. It wasn't my place to say, Jessie. You have to know that.'' Jim explained. I didn't blame him, I knew he couldn't have told me and I wasn't bothered about that. I was upset that Emelia hadn't told me.

''Look, you're clearly upset. Why don't you go and take a breather outside for a while. Go home and relax and come back later.''

''Are you crazy? I'm not leaving her.'' I hissed, outraged that she had suggested such a thing considering the state I was in.

''Fine, take a seat over there and try to calm down.''

I sat down away from anyone else in the waiting room, I needed time to think. Blaming Jim was out of the question, it was no-ones fault, not even Emelia's. I couldn't blame her. Not ever. I'm sure she'd have a reason for not telling me. If she didn't, I'd be overly surprised. I guess time would tell and that I'd have to wait until I could find anything out.

That was the most annoying part, when you're waiting for something to happen, time goes slower and slower. It seemed like I was waiting for a nurse to come out and say I could see her for years. Jim understood that I needed my space and left to pick up Emelia's Nana. He'd been so nice bringing us here and now going to do that. The next tricky thing I'd have to do is explain everything to her. Maybe if I was lucky, Jim would...?

So many thought provoking questions zoomed through my head and it gave me a headache. How long had she had cancer? What type of cancer was it? Why didn't she tell me? How long would she have left to live? Is it stable? How is she feeling? All of those and a million more. The tears carried on flowing until I realised how selfish I was being. I was crying because I was upset about how she hadn't told me/ How I was feeling because she had cancer. I sounded like a monster.

At the end of the day, she was the one who was sick and I made a deal with myself that this was about her. No-one else but her. Whatever the situation was, I'd look after her as if my life depended on it. She had no-one else, as cliché as this sounds I was her everything. She was my everything. The sweetest friend you could ever meet.

Her world was falling apart, breaking at the seams and cracking on the outside. Her Dad leaves the family, her Mum dies, her Grandad dies. Her entire life had been full of disappointment and it made me cry just thinking about it, let alone it actually happening to me. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to know why she hadn't told me. I wasn't angry at her for not explaining, just sad. Did she think I'd treat her differently? Was that it?

I closed my eyes in attempt to block out all thoughts, I think I even began to doze off. This was until a nurse came over to me and cleared her throat. I wasn't actually asleep, just resting my eyes. It was the nurse from earlier, the one who was rude and blunt. ''Emelia is stable now.''