Dangerous Love

Chapter 20

''What's next on your bucket list, Emelia?'' Jess asked, as she drove us back to my house.

''I don't want to do it in order, it's more fun when it's just spontaneous.'' I explained, my hands flapping anywhere and everywhere.

''But we've done it in order so far?''

''Yeah, but still. A change is always good.''

''I suppose.'' She raised her eyebrows and nodded, agreeing with me. ''So, what's next?''

''Well, that's the thing.''

''What...''

''I want to swim with dolphins.'' I declared, as the car pulled up at my house. We got out and made our way to the door, Jess opening it with the key I had previously had made for her.

''Yes, that is on your bucket list?'' She was confused. I don't blame her, I confuse myself.

''But I don't want to swim with dolphins in the UK, I want to go somewhere abroad.''

''I can arrange that. Let me give Cez a call and he can sort it all out.'' She shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal. Almost as if with a click of the fingers, or wave of the magic wand- that it could be done.

''He can do that?''

''Well, he's my tour manager and he knows the lengths I'd go to for you.'' She hung her coat on the rack by the front door and we went into my living room.

''That's so sweet, thank you.'' I covered my mouth and cheeks with my hand, hiding the smile which was growing behind them.

''Anytime. So anyway, where are we going to swim with dolphins?'' Sitting down on the sofa, she brought up a new topic of conversation.

''Yeah, the problem isn't over yet.''

''Ok... Go into more detail,'' she said. I slowly dragged my hands down my face until they fell into my lap.

''Swimming with dolphins abroad involves me getting on a plane.''

''You can't be more terrified than I am.'' She joked, laughing to herself.

''It's not the flying that is the problem.''

''What is it then? Stop talking in riddles.'' She tutted. Obviously she wasn't mad at me, but I was probably irritating her how vague I was being.

''You said change is always good? Well if we go away on holiday, then I won't be able to write to my mum in the coffee shop.'' There I said it. I had written to mum every single day and I couldn't bring myself to change that.

''That's what you're worried about Emelia?'' Her face was showing emotion and I couldn't gather what type it was. I think she was just surprised, yet annoyed at herself that she hadn't thought of it.

''Honestly... Yes.'' I bit my lip and toyed with my sleeve.

She sighed, but took hold of my hand and dragged me to the fireplace. I had kept the letter from my mum there. Oh god, I knew what she was doing. She sat us down on my sofa yet again and opened the letter cautiously. She scanned through it, trying to find the bit she wanted to read me. Here it comes.

''You'll listen to your mum, right? 'Promise me one thing Emelia. Promise me you won't sit around grieving over me and wasting your days. Days are precious, because they will end. You have to live like they're limited, because they are. You don't know when your life will be taken from you, and you want to be able to say you lived a happy, interesting life. So go on, go out and explore the world. See what it has to offer and grab every opportunity. You only have one life, so make it count.' '' Jess quoted my mum.

Everything was quiet for a moment as I looked at Jess, she looked at me and although nothing was said, she knew how grateful I was.

''Your mum said you have to go out and explore the world. You have to live, Emelia. You can't stay tied to one place when the thing you need isn't there.'' She squeezed my hand as she spoke, emphasising her point more.

''But it's something I've done for so long. No matter if I want to, I don't think I can bring myself to not go and write to her there, Jess.'' I shook my head, like I was trying to shake out the negative thoughts about going abroad.

''It's only a change of scenery. You can write to her anywhere in the world. Time changes, what would you do if Jim's place was knocked down? Turned into something else, perhaps?'' Her focus never left my eyes and her hand didn't move either. I knew she was serious.

''Is it really that simple?''

''To me, it is, yes. Think of it this way, your mum was taken away from you at such an early age. She never got to do the things she always wanted to. Why don't you do them for her? Taking your diary with you means that she's still living and exploring and having fun, in a way.'' How did she always know what to say? She reassured me so much.

''I don't deserve you, Jess.'' That was fact, I really didn't deserve her.

''And I don't deserve you. But we need each other, so let's keep living and exploring, yeah?''

''Yeah.'' I confirmed, we were going to do this. There was nothing holding me back now.

''No matter how tough it is, you're my soldier. You can do anything.''

~Jess' POV~

So it was settled. We were heading abroad. Where? The Bahamas.

It all happened rather quickly really, we were sat their reassuring Emelia, and the next moment we were on the plane. It was good I suppose, it didn't give her any time to talk herself out of it or to change her mind.

I had explained to Cez about Emelia's bucket list and he said the only way we would be able to go abroad as many times as was necessary, was if we did a bit of promo there too. No matter how much I whined that I didn't want to take away the fact that we were doing this for Emelia, I couldn't squirm my way out of the promo. It was happening. I didn't think Emelia would like it, but surprisingly she was eager for it to happen. Something about 'watching me in my everyday work mode', 'hearing me sing more' and 'getting involved with something I love', considering how much I apparently do for her'.

It was me, her, Cez and Mark, my security man. It was suggested that Alisha and a few others came too, but I didn't let that happen. I drew the line because I wasn't letting it become a business 'Jessie J' trip. It was all for Emelia, with a little promo on the side.

''Ladies and gentlemen, please prepare for take off.'' The air hostess informed, as I grabbed hold of Emelia's hand.

''Scared?'' She giggled, winking at me.

''Just a little.''

''A little? Your hand is shaking, hun.'' She suppressed her laughter, but I knew she was laughing inside.

''I'm hyper?''

''Are you asking or convincing yourself, babe?''

''Shut up.'' I pouted, she was picking the wrong time to be mean to me!

''Nope.''

Well this was going to be a really long flight.

A/N: I've been writing all night and have no idea if it makes any sense. So let's just go with it :)