The Playgirl's Game

Kabanata 32

Nakahiga ako sa dibdib ni Ezekiel habang siya naman ay pinaglalaruan ang buhok ko. Panaka-naka ay hinahalikan niya ang ulo ko and I can't deny how sweet it feels.

"Kailan ka babalik ng Manila?" I asked. Humigpit ang yakap niya sakin. Mas itinaas ko ang kumot na tanging bumabalot lang sa aming dalawa. Hinarap ko siya padapa while he was looking at me with adoration in his eyes.

"I have to go back tomorrow. I'm sorry." he said. Dali akong umiling at ngumiti sa kanya.

"It's okay. Magiging busy rin ako bukas makalawa dahil birthday ni Nathan. He'll do it here." sagot ko. He jaw clenched but it slowly relaxed and he nodded.

"I'll be back on weekends." Segunda niya na tinanguan ko.

He is taking me seriously. Puweba na roon ang naging usapan namin kanina. Kung ganoon, I want to start this right. Gusto ko yung kilala niya ko. If he's gonna accept me, then he has to accept the real me. Even my bad side.

"You're quiet."

Tinitigan ko siya. Is this worth it? Hindi ko alam. But isn't it the point of loving? Risking again?

Noong minahal ko si Zac, sumugal ako noon. It is my fault to give in. Niloko niya ko and it is his choice. But loving was my choice.

"Do you remember when we slept at Sophia's rest house? Yung nanaginip ako." I probed. Tinignan niya ko gamit ang mapupunggay na mata at dahan dahang tumango.

"Nanaginip ako noon. I dreamed about the person who caused me not to believe in love anymore."

Bahagya siyang natigilan sa sinabi ko. I smiled weakly at him. Humilig akong muli sa dibdib niya at natulala.

"If we want this to be serious, I want us to be honest. Sa lahat ng bagay at aspeto. So I want you to know what happened to me. Napansin ko kasi, wala tayong alam sa isa't isa.." dagdga ko pa. I bit my lower lip as I started my story.

"Nanaginip ako. Nasa isang madilim na lugar daw ako. I was walking but I can't see anything. I can only feel the sticky wet feeling of my feet. The scene changed and I was standing in the middle of a snowstorm. I heard a scream asking for help. Tinakbo ko iyon. It was a car crash. The one asking for help was my ex's mother." Nagtubig ang gilid ng mga mata ko. I stopped for a while so I could control my emotions, my pain.

"And I saw Zac there, in his own pool of blood." Pagpapatuloy ko. I felt him stiffened so tried to get up and look at him. I smiled faintly.

"It's okay. It just pained me to see him like that. He is the first guy I loved. He was my first love. My highschool love. I thought he loves me but he left me without a word. From that moment on, I took care of the anger I felt. I wanted to revenge. I did everything to be on top. Hindi ko alam anong nangyare eh. Okay naman kami but everything changed when he introduced me to his grandfather. He hated me the moment he heard who my father is. And then they left. He left me. So I made a vow to bring their company down. Hangga't hindi napapasa akin ang kumpanya nila, I won't stop. I am beyond mad at him!" Hindi ko napigilan ang emosyon. My eyes blurred and my chest kept on constricting. He look at me with sorrow in his eyes. He caressed my face.

"But then.." I prompted. Nagflashback sa akin yung itsura ni Zac sa kotse. Another pang of pain strikes my chest. Slowly, my tears fell.

"...when I saw him with his blood covered all over his body, I felt like dying. Sobrang sakit. I wanted him to pay for what he has done but I never wished something like that. Something bad." Hindi ko alam bakit ako sobrang apektado ng panaginip na iyon eh hindi naman iyon totoo. But even though it was just a dream, it made me realize a lot of things.