Without Flaws | Fyodor Academy 1

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

       As soon as class ended, I made my way to my dorm room and flopped down on my bed. I never really had the energy to do something after class. All I wanted to do was sleep. I couldn't even do what I normally loved.

       Jules showed up to our dorm room shortly after I did and as soon as he noticed I was on my bed, he walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?" he asked, gently rubbing my arm.

       "I'm not really feeling anything, to be honest," I said. "Just... empty."

       "I'm sorry you're going through this, Parry," Jules said.

       "You have nothing to apologize for. It's not like this is your fault."

       "I know. But I still feel bad. I feel like... like there was something I should have done more."

       I turned so I was lying on my back, looking at Jules. "Jules, don't. You're the best boyfriend ever. There's nothing more you could have done."

       Jules laid down beside me on the bed and I immediately rested my head on Jules's chest. I still felt very empty inside of me but I at least also felt a tiny bit of peace lying down beside him.

       "If there's anything I could do to help you, just tell me," Jules said. "You know I'd do anything for you."

       I smiled slightly as I wrapped my arms tightly around him. "I know."

       "I know there's probably not much you want to do right now but do you want to watch a movie or something?" Jules asked. "I could even get a few snacks from the cafeteria."

       "That actually sounds perfect right now," I said.

       Even though Jules just laid down beside me, he got off of the bed, grabbing his laptop and handing it to me. "Here, pick the movie you want. I'll go get some snacks." He kissed my cheek before leaving the dorm room.

       I looked through all the movies Jules had on his laptop but I couldn't find one that I wanted to watch. I'd probably just get Jules to pick out a movie instead.

       It didn't take too long for Jules to return with a bunch of snacks and drinks for us. I could even smell the freshly popped popcorn, one of my favourite snacks.

       "You're going to have to pick a movie," I said. "I can't decide on one."

       "Would you mind watching one you've already seen before?" Jules asked, getting back on my bed beside me and placing down the snacks. "Because I know a few movies you'd watch but you have seen them before."

       "I'm fine with anything," I said. "I just can't decide on anything. Just don't choose anything lame."

       "Don't worry, I'm pretty sure I know what movies you like," Jules said as he searched through the movies before choosing on one I really do like. I had seen it before so I probably wouldn't be paying too much attention to it but at least I was going to be doing something other than sleeping.

       Though I wasn't sure if watching a movie was considered more productive or not.

       I really didn't pay much attention to the movie that was playing but at least I was eating some of the snacks Jules brought. I haven't really had an appetite recently so it was a good thing for me to be eating right now.

       My mind ended up wandering a bit and it wasn't really good thoughts I had right now. And as much as I didn't really like talking about my feelings, I ended up pausing the movie so I could talk to Jules. Maybe I needed to talk about my feelings a lot more often anyway. It was better than keeping everything bottled up.

       I think I learned my lesson from last time when I refused to talk to anyone about what my family life was really like.

       "Why did you pause it?" Jules asked me.

       "Do I feel like a burden to you?" I asked. "I mean... Ever since you met me, you've been trying so hard to keep me out of trouble but I never listened. I even dragged you into trouble more than enough times. And yet, you still put up with me."

       "Because I love you, Paz," Jules said. "And there's no way on earth that you feel like a burden to me. You're amazing. And unique. And caring. And sweet. And so many things that make me love you. You're not a burden at all, okay?"

       I nodded as Jules wrapped me in a tight hug but I still couldn't help but feel that way. Jules had to put up with me and my antics for so long. Surely he was tired of me by now.

       I didn't feel like talking anymore about my feelings because it wasn't really getting me anywhere so I played the movie again, hoping that I might be able to actually focus on it this time and not have all these thoughts in my head.

       I wasn't.

       All the thoughts wouldn't go away. I still felt like a burden to Jules. I still felt empty inside. I felt tired.

       I was tired of feeling like nothing was going right in my life recently.

       Jules was able to tell I wasn't really paying attention to the movie so he stopped it and closed the laptop, placing it on the nightstand beside me. "I feel like you just want to cuddle instead."

       "Well, you're not wrong," I said, snuggling closer to Jules. "I'm sorry I'm so boring right now."

       "Hey, don't say that," Jules said. "You're going through a lot. I don't expect you to suddenly want to have a lot of fun. And I'm definitely fine cuddling with you right now, especially after the long day of school."

       "I still feel bad you're spending all your time here. Wouldn't you rather hang out with our friends?"

       Jules sighed. "Parry, I'd rather be here for you, okay? And to prove it, I am going to take you somewhere special on Saturday. That's if you're up to leaving campus."

       "I'm not sure if I'll be up to it because I always feel so exhausted but I also think it we'll do me some good getting off campus for a bit."

       "Then we'll play it by ear, okay? I'll still plan it out but we'll wait until Saturday to see if you're actually up to going."

       "Sounds good to me."

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i would say i miss parry and jules but they're in the crossover book i'm writing. but i did miss this book <3

if you love parry and jules, you should read the crossover book. like in this book, parry causes a lot of trouble oof.

which will be starting in the next chapter which i'm probably going to write tomorrow oof.