Without Flaws | Fyodor Academy 1

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

       I hated to admit it but music had always been a huge part of my life. Before I started to feel neglected from my parents, Dad and I would always bond over music. He taught me how to play so many instruments and how to appreciate the talent I had. I picked up on learning so fast.

       And that love for music stuck with me, even when I hated the thought of how my dad chose music over me. 

       Whenever I was feeling upset or lonely or anything negative, I just played music. Mainly my electric guitar, and I knew I was annoying everyone with how loud the amp was but I didn't care. I needed to get the frustration out.

       I didn't even notice the door to my dorm room open. I was too focused on my guitar and it was too loud for me to have heard it. So someone unplugging my guitar from the amp did come to a bit of a surprise and honestly, it did get me mad. I was trying to get rid of my anger by strumming away. I would rather not be interrupted.

       I looked over to see Jules holding the cord, looking a bit annoyed. "Do you not know how loud you're playing?" he asked. "Everyone is complaining. And not just the boys' dormitory. My sister texted me to tell me she could hear you playing."

       "You're overreacting," I said, no longer in the mood to play the guitar. I placed it back on the stand and flopped down on my bed with a heavy sigh, digging my face in my hands. "I'm sorry. I just... Sorry."

       Jules dropped the cord before walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed, prying my hands away from my face. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

       "Talk about what?" I asked.

       "The reason you've been so upset and quiet since the concert," Jules said. "I knew you were upset when you got into the car, even though you said you're okay."

       "I am okay," I said.

       "Parry, come on, you have to talk to me," Jules said. "You can't keep pushing me away."

       "I'm not pushing you away," I said.

       "It feels like it."

       "I'm not. I swear, I'm not. It's just... It's complicated. Everything is just so complicated."

       Jules was silent for a bit before lying down beside me on the bed. "Do you remember when we first met?"

       "You mean when I walked into this dorm room for the first time and you were already here unpacking?" I asked.

       "Well, yeah," Jules said. "But do you remember the first thing you said? It was something like 'Hi, I'm Parry. I'm you're roommate and I'm bisexual so if you have a problem with it, then deal with it or request a new roommate'. I've always admired you for being so confident and open, especially because I was still in the closet then. You even helped me come out. Where did that Parry go?"

       "Uh, did you hit your head or something?" I asked. "Because I'm pretty sure I'm still bisexual."

       "No, that isn't what I meant," Jules said. "I mean confident and open Parry. The Parry who didn't seem to have many secrets. The one who told me when something was wrong."

       I sighed. I really wanted to tell Jules exactly what was bothering me but I didn't think I can. I knew he wouldn't treat me any differently. I knew he would keep it a secret if I told him but... That wasn't what I was worried about.

       I was worried about him, and everyone else, thinking I had such amazing parents when really, it was the opposite. And I didn't think I can handle people saying things like, "Wow, the lead guitarist of Crooked Discord is your dad? You're so lucky. He must be so cool."

       And once people found out who my mom was, that was going to put a lot more pressure on me for achieving high grades with everyone expecting me to reach her level. Even if I did have the highest grades in the school.

       Everyone would expect more.

       But... Maybe I should tell Jules what was going on without saying the full story. At least it would get some weight off of my chest.

       "The main reason why I wanted to come to this boarding school was so I wouldn't feel so lonely," I said. "Well, my parents are the one who chose this school because they thought it would be the best for me but I am the one who asked if I could go to a boarding school in the first place. It was much better than staying at home alone all the time."

       "All the time?" Jules asked.

       "Yeah," I said. "Their jobs usually includes a lot of travelling. A lot. I'd be a surprise if they even made if home for my birthday or even Christmas."

       "You've spent both your birthday and Christmas alone?" Jules asked. 

       "I did," I said. "Multiple times. So I asked my parents if I could go to a boarding school. I didn't tell them it was because I felt like they were neglecting me. I just said I thought it would be more beneficial towards me. I still feel lonely at times, even though I have you and all my friends. I just... wish I could talk to my parents regularly."

       "When did you last talk to them?" Jules asked.

       "I can't remember when I last talked to my mom," I said. "My dad was a few days ago and it... did not go well. I came out to him and my mom two years ago but... One of the first things he asked was if there was anything new and any girls. Not girls or boys. Just girls. And I already told the both of them about you. It's like they just forgot the two most important things to me."

       "Oh, I'm sorry, Parry," Jules said. "I can see why you haven't told me anything about them. I wish that you did but I don't blame you for not wanting to talk about it. You do know you can tell me about anything, right?"

       "I know," I said, giving him a thin smile. "And thank you for always being here to listen to my problems. Or to help me out when I am the problem, which happens a lot."

       "Yeah, a bit too much," Jules said. "At least you haven't gotten in trouble for a while so that's good."

       "Only because I've been too moody to get in trouble," I said. "That, and Malcolm hasn't really done anything yet. Once he does, I can't make any promises."

      Jules chuckled. "Of course you can't." He then gently placed his hand on my cheek. "I love you, Parry."

       "I love you too, Jules," I said. 

       I may not have my parents there for me but at least I had the best boyfriend in the world.

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awe parules is so cute <3

OH it's officially July 1st right here SO HAPPY CANADA DAY TO ANY OF MY FELLOW CANADIANS READING THIS. 

and idk what else to say so byyeeeee