All The Colors In One | FILLIE

ten - fumbling hands

song - Waiting by Aquilo 

~"I'll leave it alone
Back off if you want
I know that it's wrong
But you know where you belong"~

The next day that Finn saw her, he was expecting everything to go back to how it was. He was preparing himself for vicious words and cold expressions, as if her small gesture of human decency had meant nothing. She had an inexplicably cruel habit of opening up to him without even knowing it, only to reign herself back in a moment later. Her emotions were like the rise and fall of the tides, gently caressing the sand before retreating back to the depths of the ocean to leave the lands dry. She looked the same as she always did, dressed in loose clothing that still made her shine brighter than anything in their surroundings. It was a sunny day, the sky practically burning into his retina's due to the brightness of the sun. But Finn's eyes would not stray away from her, searching for something that he wasn't sure he would ever find. Her posture was guarded still, arms crossed before she reached out and slipped her hand into the crook between his elbow and forearm. She opened her mouth and he automatically winced, waiting for the cruel comment that was ready to spill from her lips. 

"Hi" her voice was a touch softer than usual. 

Finn was taken back. "Uh, hi?"

"What's wrong?" she frowned slightly, "You're acting weird."

"Uh, I'm f-fine" he stumbled over his words, shaking his head slightly. "Um...you ready for school? We have double chemistry first and then gym class-"

Millie made a face. "I don't want to go."

"I know" he smiled sympathetically, "Neither do I."

She sighed and kicked at the rocks of her driveway. "But you're not going to let me ditch, are you? You don't want to get in trouble with my parents...right?"

A strange feeling clawed at his chest, tightening his lungs until it felt like he didn't have enough air to argue with her. He tried to shake it off but it wasn't working, squeezing his organs as if a serpent was trapping him from the inside. Maybe it was the disappointment on her face as she looked down at the floor, looking as if the weight of the world was resting on her sharp shoulder blades. Or perhaps it was the curiosity to get closer to her, to see if she would open herself up to him further before inevitably shutting him out again. Whatever it was, he groaned under his breath and changed the direction of their path. 

Millie's breath hitched. "Finn? What are we-"

"Don't breathe a word of this to your parents, okay?" he glanced at her with a locked jaw, "I'm serious. I'll take you for a while but we have to make it back for third period, okay?"

"Okay" she tried not to laugh. 

He huffed and glanced at her, "What's so funny?"

She shook her head, eyes softening at the ground. "Thank you."

They ended up where they always did, the place that seemed to hold so much significance to them. Alma's Hill was still beautiful in the bright sunshine, just as breathtaking as when the sun was rising or setting. The golden yellow surroundings made Millie smile without even thinking about it, her lips curling up slightly as she felt the warmth of the sun on her face. Perhaps it felt so important to them because it was always so empty, as if it was designed as somewhere they could rest when the world felt too much for them. There was nobody else to poison the peaceful atmosphere, as if just for a moment, the universe was letting them have a moment alone. Finn could not thank the universe enough for something so precious, a single moment that could get him slightly closer to the girl that he couldn't stop worrying out. Sometimes she was as unreachable as the moon and while he had no faith to keep going, he just couldn't stop himself from trying again, hoping that one day something would change. It was almost as if it was their place, somewhere that they felt they could be themselves.