All The Colors In One | FILLIE

twenty three - at full brightness

song - Light by Sleeping At Last

~"The world is brighter than the sun
Now that you're here
Though your eyes will need some time to adjust
To the overwhelming light surrounding us"~

The first thing that she heard was the sound of his breaths. 

She could not remember being wheeled down into the surgery room, with the nurses chattering around her in hushed voices. She could not remember counting down from ten after they put the anesthesia into her drip, hearing their voices blur into strange echoes as her lids fluttered shut - teetering off the edge of consciousness. There were moments missing, many days nothing but gaps within her memory as if they were not important , because it was what came after that was truly important. But she could remember the sound of his breathing, because it was a melody that she could never forget - every note of the symphony stitched into her soul like the most beautiful composition. It was a composition that unraveled the confusion and anxiety from her heart, peeling back the layers until all she could do was listen to the sound of his breathing - realizing that perhaps nothing else mattered. There was so much hate in the world, so much pain and suffering that it drove her mad...but maybe it would not be so bad with someone by your side. That maybe she could keep trying, with him by her side. 

Finn was sat on the edge of her bed, teeth chewing on his blunt nails nervously, eyes flickering back and forth between her sleeping form and the window. There were dark circles underneath his eyes - a reminder of the days that he had spent by her side, like a prince lying in wait for his princess to wake up from a dreamless sleep. Her parents had kindly suggested for him to get some rest, often watching over her with him - hands clasped together as if they were trying to anchor onto whatever strength they both had left within their hearts. But Finn could not eat, relax...let alone sleep, without knowing that she was okay. 

"M-Millie?" he perked up slightly, seeing her form shift tiredly. 

Her breath caught in her throat, sitting up in the bed slowly. "Finn? What are you doing here? I thought that the anesthesia takes a few days to get out of my system..."

"I didn't want you to wake up alone" he admitted feebly. 

 She sighed, not bothering to argue. 

"Has it worn off yet?" he asked gently, "o-or do you still feel weird? The doctors said that it would maybe make you feel dizzy or sick..."

Millie shrugged. "I'm not sure, I feel...fine."

"You woke up a few times..." Finn chuckled to himself softly, looking at the wall as he spoke, "j-just muttering nonsense about being tired and stuff. I tried to speak to you but you just said my name a lot...I think that you were still dreaming. Do you remember seeing or hearing anything from the surgery?"

She shook her head. 

"Oh...." he said nervously, voice starting to shake slightly as his hands felt jittery, "well, I'm sure that you'll remember eventually. I heard this story about this man who went into surgery...he claims that he spoke to God but I think that he was just a fierce Christian. I-I also heard that some coma patients can hear their family members, that they can see around like an out of body experience but...then again maybe that's just the movies after all they-"

"Finn."

He paused for a moment. "Yeah?"

Her voice cracked. "I-I can't see anything."

Finn reached over and placed his hand over hers, the pale skin contrasting beautifully with the golden undertone of her own - perhaps proving that every single part of her would always be brighter than him. "Millie..." he told her softly, "y-you still have the bandages on."