All The Colors In One | FILLIE

one - world without color

song - Rainbow Connection by Sleeping At Last

~"Why are there so many
songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side
Rainbows are visions
they're only illusions"~

Her entire world was filled with light, vivid colors soaring around her world like fragments of life, bursting into rainbows before her eyes. Ever since she had started painting she had been fascinated with every single color of the rainbow, each of them representing different emotions and creating their own stories. The cool-toned blues and purples eased her mind, soothing her soul almost like a lullaby as she stroked her brush across the blank easel. But the brighter colors were her favorite, each bursting in their own way, splashing in a million bits and pieces, like multi-colored raindrops dripping over the page. The world was always filled with color, clothing and objects doused in different shades of the rainbow, creating their own personalities for people to choose from. The sky was a beautiful plain easel that the God's had painted, each picking a different shade until it was lathered with warm orange and pinks, bright blues and yellows jumping out of every crevice, like they could not decide what color to stick with. Her entire life was filled with every single splash of color, bursting from her fingertips as she painted and explored the places around her, like the world was her own blank canvas. 

She had never expected the colors to be drained from her life, for every bright blue and green to slide down the easel, dripping onto the floor with the warm oranges and red tones that were melted into a useless puddle. Her world was erased of rainbows and life, molding into a blank portrait with no more color for her to paint with. She could no longer dream of sunny skies, of beautiful rainbows hitting her skin through the window where the kaleidoscope of colors met. She was left with nothing but darkness, happiness leaked from her soul as if her heart had been drained of every single color.

Millie lost her sight when she was thirteen years old. 

She had always been a healthy child, no symptoms or weak immune system to prepare her for what happened on a typical summer's day. One moment she was relaxing in the sun, climbing the tree house that her parents had built for her, and the next everything had faded to black. She fell through the sky like a lifeless bird, collapsing on the ground softly as if all of her nerve endings had disappeared, her vision blurred until she could barely see the sun above her. She had called for her parents, thinking that she was somehow passed out and dreaming of them screaming around her before calling an ambulance. It was only when she asked them to turn on a light when she had realized what had happened, the moment something that could never be taken back. The doctors had called her one of the very few mystery patients in the world, a rare case of Neuromyelitis Optica Spectrum Disorder causing her muscle weakness and loss of sight. She ignored the ache behind her eyes, trying to smile through the pain as she confidently asked them how long the condition was going to last. It was only when she heard the shake in her parent's voices, when she realized that it was never going to be that simple. 

"I-I can get it back though, right?" she hiccuped gently, trying to keep hold of her mother's shaky hands. "...right?"

Her mother's voice broke. "I-I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

Once her parents had stopped crying the doctor explained that the harsh truth, that they did not know if her vision would ever come back. They promised to look into different medications and treatments, tales on the internet or miracle breakthroughs that could make things go back to the way that they were. But nobody was confident in her situation, Millie gulping down her own tears so that she could hold out hope that everything was going to be okay. For a long time she was hopeful, believing that she was going to get her sight back one day, biting back her frustration when her paint spilled when in art class. They had pulled her out of school instantly, promising that she could return when she was in control of her actions, confining her to an afternoon art program and home schooling with a dull tutor. Millie held out hope, assuring everyone around her that everything would be okay, trying to convince herself at the same time that perhaps somehow she could be right.