All The Colors In One | FILLIE

eighteen - just a blurred picture

song - Forever by Lewis Capaldi 

~"They'll never take those long summer days
When love was untamed
Two burning hearts are dared to break
Remember, nobody said that it would last forever"~

She had brought so much color into his own world. All he had been trying to do since he met her, was to show her beauty in the world and describe it in a way that made her feel like she wasn't missing out on everything. While introducing her to the bright colors and bursts of light that existed in their atmosphere, he had realized just how much color she brought into his life herself. Without her, his world had lost its light. Every single second the colors were fading, shades losing their vivid edge without the brightness that she brought. His surroundings were blurred, the sky turning pale and dreary without the sunshine that she carried within her soul. The sprinkles of magic were gone, leaving behind a world that had lost some of its beauty. 

Finn walked down the hallways at school, feeling all of his senses losing their sensitivity. It was as if his body was shutting down, sounds slipping past his ears without acknowledgement, every voice fading into one blur. There was no weight on his arm, no soft hand that grounded him when it felt like he was slowly slipping away. As he pushed his way sourly through this new world without her, he had never felt so lost within the sea of people. The only time that he would get any stability is when he fell asleep, every single dream filled with the essence of her. Small parts of her had filled the cracks of his soul, the sweet sound of her laugh, the feeling of her fingers stroking his gently and gripping on tighter as if part of her needed him too. But he would wake up feeling emptier than ever, forcing himself to ignore the urge of knocking on her door and begging her to let him check on her. All he wanted was a single moment, a conversation that could change everything in the hopes that she would remember that they were once everything. To convince her that she was everything, that without her he had nothing. 

"Finn?" Sadie nudged him. 

His head snapped up, his mind clearing slightly to recognize his English teacher looking at him expectantly. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you could take Millie's homework to her? I know that her father called about missing school for a while, and you always helped her around school. Is it okay if you take it to her this afternoon after school?" 

Finn grumbled under his breath. "Can't someone else do it?"

"Sorry?" their teacher frowned slightly, confused. 

He sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly before turning around without another word. He could hear Sadie faintly behind the ringing in his ears, apologizing and offering to take Millie's homework herself before she tried to catch up with him. Her red hair ruffled in the wind as she ran after him slightly, huffing under her breath at how quickly his long legs moved. Finn ignored her for a while, shaking his head as she tried to push the packet of homework into his hands. He knew that if he took the homework to her house then he would become weak, asking if he could see her just for her to spit more words at his bruised heart. He wasn't sure how much more he could take, his heart nothing but a punching bag for her. 

"You know that she wants to see you" Sadie mentioned quietly. "No matter what she said, I'm pretty sure she wants you to check on her."

Finn scoffed. "I know. She wants me to crawl back and beg for forgiveness like I always do...but it's not fair, okay? It isn't goddamn fair that I am always the one who has to apologize, who will always admit to being wrong. I just wished she cared more."

"I'm sure she does care" she tried. 

He shook his head. "You don't know anything, okay?"

Sadie's face fell slightly. "I don't know everything, you're right. But I am just trying to help you, I don't want you to always look so upset."