All The Colors In One | FILLIE

twenty - rainbow in the sky

song - True Colors by Tom Odell 

~"In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
The darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small"~

It was often said that if you wanted the rainbow, then you had to deal with the rain. Millie had dealt with the rain for more days than she could count, each situation lined up for her as if the universe had simply decided that she didn't deserve to be happy. When all of the color was drained from her atmosphere, she could not even see the rainbow in the distance, the bright array of colors that were supposedly heading in her direction. It somehow seemed like she would be stuck in the dark forever, never offered the privilege to see the meteorological phenomenon herself. But then he came into her life, opening up the layers that she had wrapped herself in tightly so that nobody could ever break through. He exposed the many sides to her soul, just like the dispersed raindrops exposing the different colors of the sun's rays through reflection and refraction - forming a rainbow of hope. It was always unclear to her whether or not Finn would act as her very own rainbow of hope, and perhaps she would never truly know the answer. But each day without him felt colder, as if she didn't need her vision to understand that the skies surrounding her were grey. 

Her atmosphere felt dull without his soul lighting up the air around her, somehow making her feel like she was sinking into the ocean yet dancing with the stars in the same moment. He made her feel every single contradiction, her heart  feeling so heavy around him, but still somehow lighter than it had ever been. Despite how the hope that he represented, Finn was not a miracle gifted to her by the universe. He did not have the power to give her back what she had lost, and he could not show her all of the beautiful corners of the world that she had forgotten about. But the longer that she stayed away from him, she realized that perhaps he didn't have to. 

Though she could barely imagine his pale sharp cheekbones, raven curls or strange freckles scattered across his cheeks - he had given her something different. Instead of lighting her universe with the bright purples and pinks of the world, every single shade and kaleidoscope that was possible - her atmosphere was filled with his own essence. Her ears found the sound of his contagious laughter, the softer edge of his voice when he asked her something difficult, every single word that had left her mind reeling for hours. Her hands had been introduced to the feeling of his chest moving up and down gently with steady breaths, his longer fingers interlocking with her own until it felt like she could finally stand on her own two feet. Every sense was left tingling from the sound of his voice, or the feeling of his warm body next to her own, until Millie was convinced that perhaps vision wasn't everything. That maybe he was everything, that at the very least he was everything to her. His soul lit her up with more brightness than the sun ever could, introducing more sensations to her than any of the colors in the universe could cause. Maybe he was created out of every single living thing, every magnificent edge to the universe, crafted out of the rainbows himself. 

That perhaps he was all the colors in one. 

When she called him, her hands were practically shaking as she found her phone, speaking her instructions into the adapted device. The words 'call Finn' were spat out slightly, her voice trembling as much as her hands, something that she tried to desperately get rid of before he noticed. She cleared her throat nervously, freezing when the ringing stopped. 

"Millie?"

She squeezed her eyes shut. "Hi, Finn."

"Y-You called" his voice was filled with blatant hope, before he shook his head and corrected himself quickly, "uh- I meant...what did you call me for?"