Is it love? - Ryan. Dangerous to Love.

Compulsory rest

Ryan's POV.

When we arrived to the 3rd floor in the hospital,she was more tense than ever. It was horrible seeing my love like this. I have never seen her like that before. She was in fear, she was so pale and breathed heavily. I know myself how a panic attack looks like. And I could see that she knows it too well too. I tried to calm her down.

"It's just a check up. Don't be afraid. I know it sounds horrible clichè but if you try to overcome your fear a bit,at least your panic attack doesn't start. I know it's hard darling. Believe me. I am here with you. "

It seemed that my words calmed her a bit, she just nodded and we waited till James invited us in. James is one of my old friends from school,he became an excellent neurologist so he was the best choice to examine Kate.

"Hey Ryan. Good to see you. And you must be Kate. Nice to meet you. It's good to get to know the woman who changed this gentleman to be the best version of himself. "
James was welcoming,smiling. But hell sure he could feel how tense Kate is. All in all,he was a neurologist.
Kate shook hands with him and tried to relax a bit.

"Thanks for the compliment. And thanks for your time. Sorry that I am tense. I am not into hospitals."

She looked down to the floor. I can feel that she is ashamed. She shouldn't be. I must inform James about some details. It's good that he hands her some paperwork about allergies and personal information so I can talk privately to James for a bit so I invite him over to one side of the room.

"We need to talk about something."

"Sure Ryan. I guess it's about Kate."

"Yes,it is. I don't know whether you could check her hospital documents from earlier times but she had a rough time in hospital. Her parents died in a car accident where she drove. She survived but had months of recovery and got extreme depression and anxiety. And it got worse from the hospitals so the last time she was in a hospital was 3 years ago and she had to leave fast cause she got severe panic attacks and her heart had problems dealing with stress. So she is having a hard time being here. Just keep a close eye on her while examining. I don't want her to have a panic attack or any worse. If you notice something, just call me in or something,I will be here with her all along. "

James was a really good friend that's why I trusted him enough to ask for his help with Kate.

"Of course Ryan. I am grateful that you told me everything so there won't be any surprises. I take care of Kate and you don't have to leave her side. I am happy for you and try to help however I can. "

Kate has finished paperwork so we went back to her. James asked questions about her headache and other symptoms and than he explained Kate how the examinations will happen. He wanted to make sure that there wasn't any head injury that wasn't noticed so he made all the examinations. When he finished,he seemed worried. I couldn't decide whether Kate should heat what's wrong or not. Cause I could tell that something was wrong. She needs to hear. I am here with her.
James sat down and started explaining the situation.

"You hit your head quite seriously Kate. It is strange that you didn't feel any external pain. Your headaches and balance problems all sign that there is pressure in your brain where there shouldn't be. It must be around the area which is responsible for keeping your whole body in balance. I should make more examinations but concerning that you don't wanna stay in hospital, I need to try to make things better with medicines. We have a strong pill that is responsible for brain pressure. It is a 3 day periodic cure but I must tell you that you need supervision. And I mean all day supervision. You can manage it Ryan?"

"Of course I can. If she doesn't have to stay,I do anything. Tell me the risks why this needs to be supervised."

"The supervision is needed because she can react differently to the medicines each time she takes them. It decreases or increases the pressure in her brain but it depends on how high or how low the pressure is when the medicine starts working. It can cause serious problems so she shouldn't be alone. But mostly you can plan watching her sleep 3 entire days. She can sleep through the whole days cause the medicines take effect better when she is asleep so they contain ingredients to make her sleep. The brain can keep its pressure the easiest when the person is asleep and not disturbed by anything. But you need to keep an eye on her to wake her up sometimes to give her enough fluids and food. And in 3 days, you come back and we check whether she needs to stay in or not. You think you will be able to manage?"

I look at Kate. She looks pale. She is so afraid. Maybe it wasn't a good idea that she knows what's up with her. James' question is not necessary at all. Of course I will manage. The company can be without me for 3 days. And I can work from home. Especially if Kate will sleep through that 3 days.
"Of course I can James. She is my fiancee. Do you think it's safe? "

"I think it's an option Ryan. And you have my number. You have the number that I am available at any time. We keep contact and if you find anything strange,call me immediately. We live maybe 10 minutes away from each other and the hospital. "

He sounds calm but nervous at the same time. I can feel that it's risk taking. But James trusts me to take that risk. He and I take that risk altogether. He must have had Kate stay in the hospital but he knows the situation.
We get the prescription and I say goodbye to James. Kate went out to the nurse asking for the medicines so I have a minute with James.

"Just don't be afraid Ryan. You need to keep an eye on her and not panic if something happens. You can count on me. Just call me and I'll be there. "

"Thanks James. For everything. I owe you one. "

"You owe me a drink buddy. And this lady to be taken the best care of. Don't hesitate to call Ryan."

"Thanks James. See you in 3 days I guess."

I left to office quickly to find Kate. She was sitting at the entry of the floor in one of the chairs,looking at the floor and seeming on edge.

"Heey Babe. It's alright."
I got next to her in a second and hugged her shoulders.
"We can go home. You don't have to stay. Just hold on for some minutes and we will be out here. "
I hoped that we can manage staying here without any difficulties but it seems that I was wrong. Kate doesn't answer me. Her whole body is shaking. She breathes heavily and I can see tears in her eyes. I need to take her out of here now. I take her in my arms and rush outside with her to the fresh air. I whisper to her during our way out.
"It's okay babe. I am here. We will be out here so soon. I love you. Please calm down. I love you so so so much. You are everything to me Kate. Please calm down."

We reached the park and I sat down on a bench with her. She was sitting in my lap, I was caressing her arms, holding her close and firm. It was maybe half an hour that we could leave. She got calmer and spoke for the first time after nearly an hour.

"Thank you Ryan. I don't deserve you.  I don't deserve anything. "

"Don't say this. Never again. Believe finally when I say I love you. And that we can solve everything together. Yeah, things are not so great. But I won't leave you.  Not because of guilt. But I must bear it. You are in this state because of me. That I didn't take care of you and they attacked you. But I am with you because I am madly in love with you. Accept this fact and try to love yourself. You are incredible. I think you are the strongest woman that I have ever seen Kate. Don't ever doubt your strength. And if you don't feel it right now,lean on me. Put your weigh on me. Or just share a bit with me. We can fight this together. "

"I love you Ryan. So much. And I need you. Now more than ever.  Thank you for being perfect. "

"I am not perfect honey. I am just half. Together we are perfect. Our halves put together. "

I kissed her forehead and she just whispered in my ear: "Take me home."