Is it love? - Ryan. Dangerous to Love.

Bad memories..

Matt's POV.

I was quite confused when Ryan called me. I knew that they are going back to the doctor today but I hoped Kate gets out fine. She is so not ready to stay in that damn hospital. And Ryan asked me to watch over her. I am glad that he asked for my help but I am afraid. I don't think I am enough for this. That time when we were at the hospital, I wasn't able to calm her down. I needed to get her out of there. But now what? I don't think she trusts me enough that I will be able to calm her down even when Ryan is not there. It's hard. Those times were hard for me as well. I suffered this whole together with Kate. And if someone really loves her,it's torture to see her like this. But I must do it for her.
As I hang up,I quickly get my jacket and head for my bike.

As I reach the hospital,I search for Kate's room. When I find it,the door is crackly open and I can see that Kate is sleeping. I hope they did not sedated her already. I try to avoid that. Those are the worst. When she is sedated and after she wakes, she is confused,angry and terrified at the same time. After the accident,she had to be sedated a lot,she was ripping out the needles from her arm so they had to make her sleep and not hurt herself. Those are some memories that burned into my mind. Watching my best friend go through that was painful. But I need to hold myself together.
As I enter the room,Ryan stands up next to her bed and shakes my hand. He feels shit as well.

"Hey, great that you can watch over her. Thanks for that,I am really grateful. "

"Still no thanks is needed. I love her. How is she asleep?"

Ryan looks at her for a moment then back to me:
"No idea. Maybe to calm herself down. I was sure freaked out how to tell her that I need to leave,and one moment later she was asleep. But our lucks won't betray us. I am pretty sure she will wake up when I am not here. So I needed you here. "

"Of course. Just be back soon. I try my best but there were times when I wasn't enough. So just make it quick."

"You can be sure,I will. That's why I called Lisa to help me at home. I have no idea what to pack her. "

I smiled at Ryan and comforted him:
"No worries, I wouldn't have a fucking  clue either. Lisa will be the fastest ever. So you have chosen the best for the job."

Ryan is a good guy. I realised lately that I was always an asshole to him. But Kate is my best friend. And not just that. Kate is like my sister,my only family. And I am his only too. Of course I try to protect her from everything.
Ryan smiled back at me and left the room. Now I am waiting. I am killing time with drawing. I am really into drawing. Of course, it should be obvious as a graphic designer but it isn't a necessary hobby. It's a passion for me. I love drawing people. But not the pose type of drawing if that's even an existing word. I love capturing a moment and draw emotions that can go by so fast and unnoticed. Of course I draw Kate. I have tons of drawings of Kate. She is beautiful. But for my artwork, she is living the moments at their full emotion. I could say that her emotional state became these stormy after the accident but she was always like this. If you know her, you read her like a book. Her eyes are telling stories, waves of emotions are going through in those eyes in every second. But it's not just her eyes. She is a living emotion even now when she is sleeping. How she has her hands and her body even when asleep screams that she is terrified. I hate seeing her like this. But capturing these moment in drawings will make her stronger when she gets through this. Bad memories are memories too. But we tend to hide them when they also shaped us to be who we are. I lived through a lot too. I miss my parents,I miss Kate's parents. They left us alone but they never wanted to leave us alone. Life is like that. It has an order. And it was their time. I had to accept this to get on with my life.
As I am drawing Kate, she starts to wake up and already looking to be on edge.
I try to smoothen the air:
"Hey princess. Happy to see me? Just came to cheer you up."