Is it love? - Ryan. Dangerous to Love.

Fight for time

Ryan's POV.

It's the next morning. The night wasn't extremely bad. Kate woke up some times because of her headache but I just curled up to her and tried to help her relax. She isn't stable at all mentally. Many memories came back to her life haunting her. And those memories doesn't let her be safe at all. She is afraid of getting hurt even in the apartment, safe with me.
I don't know how we will manage this 3 days. I don't know how I will manage it. Without her. Cause yeah,she is mostly asleep,and I am mostly worried. It's 8 in the morning. My phone won't stop ringing so I have to get it. It also woke up Kate. Shit.
I answer it grumpily.
"What do you want?"

My secretary answer a bit irritated.
"Mr. Carter, you have an appointment at 9 and you haven't arrived yet."

I got extremely annoyed. This girl doesn't understand an email?
"I wrote you an email. To cancel everything for this week. Didn't you get it?"

"I got the mail,but it's an important Chinese contact sir. You shouldn't miss that."

"I am not missing on it,just postponing. And don't ever make a decision in my place and not even consider doubting my decisions, right? I have personal problems which no one has the right to gossip about. I can stay away anytime that I want. That's my company after all.
Cancel everything for this week. I will let Mark know if he is needed somewhere. Any more problems for the week is for Mark,you must inform him,not me. I don't wanna get a call from you now on. Goodbye."

I just hung up. I am not responsible for this girl. I don't need the shit from work.
I make a quick call to Mark to ask him to look after the company as much as he can. He knows everything that we are involved in. We talked a bit on the phone about Kate as well. I didn't tell him much but some things yeah cause I count on Mark. He gives excellent advice and I trust him. We have known each other for a long time now. He advised me to get Kate's friends to spend time with her as well. Even when she is asleep.
Of course he didn't gave me this advice to have time for work but to have time for rest as well. I am nearly never fully asleep, I wake up to her every move, I am really worried about her and James also told me to keep a steady eye on her. It's 2 PM and she just woken up once in the morning but I couldn't convince her to eat something, she just went straight back to sleep. I snuggle up to her to try to wake her up for a bit.
I whisper to her:
"Love,time for some food and some time with me"
I caressed her a bit and she started to wake up.

"Hey,sorry to be asleep for that much. Can you rest next to me at all?"

"Don't worry about me. I love being with you even when you are asleep. But you could make me a bit calmer if you would eat something. "
I could see that she is not into the idea but thank the Lord that she gave in.

"Right. We should eat something. I am sure you don't eat as well. What if we go to the kitchen and do something to eat."

I can see that she is trying. I am worried but I don't wanna spoil her mood. So I accept the idea and we go to the kitchen. Her head still hurts but she tries not to show it. I just have to insist that she should rest a bit in the armchair. She doesn't want to be away so I just move the chair to the kitchen.

"At least once, you can watch me cook something. I agreed to come cook something but not you cooking. You just rest,okay? Pretty pleeease."
I just try to imitate her when she really wants something. And I reached what I wanted.
She smiles and just says:
"Okaaay. Just for once. I rather enjoy the view of you in the kitchen. "

I was making some chicken and salad. Yeah,I know some things in the kitchen. I don't say that I am a chef but surely I made my own food whenever I was at home. She didn't really want to eat,I had to insist on keeping her fed. She can be hell more stubborn than I am. I never thought that's possible. She eats a bit and we go out to the  balcony a bit. She still has some balance problems and the headache as well. I have my hand behind her to guide her and not to let her fall. At least she comes out to the balcony.

"I am glad that you are here,outside, getting some fresh air. I really missed your smile, your laugh, your eyes, everything. I love you so so much Kate."

I could see some tears on her face.

"Heeey,babe. Don't cry. It's alright. Tell me what's wrong?

"I just hate to be a burden. I was never good at this. Being vulnerable and easy to hurt. I never really lean on anyone. I never trusted anyone so much to just show him everything. To tell every inch of my secrets and my personality. I am still afraid that you will just disappear when you really get to know me. "

I knew I don't want to interrupt her but I must:
"You must be joking, right? You have no chances to chase me away. So don't make attempts. Just don't give up, okay? Don't give up on us,and most importantly, don't ever give up on yourself.  You are incredible. And whenever you feel weak just lean on me. It's not that hard. You could easily do it if you really truly believed that I am in love with you and I have tons of reasons to be. You need to love yourself to believe that anyone can love you."

She looks sad. I can see that she's struggling. She needs to be more open to me. Of course I know her but not entirely. And I need to know her entire being. There is nothing that could stop me from loving her.
She finally comes closer to me and puts her head to my chest. I am not rushing her to go inside, it's a sunny,warm afternoon and she can be finally outside but as I guessed so is asleep again in 20 minutes. But at least I could get her eat something and have some fresh air. After waiting another half an hour just caressing her cheeks, I got her into my arms and lifted her easily to get her into our bed. It's half past 4, Matt and Lisa should finish soon. I decide to call them to tell her about Kate. But I am mostly planning to invite them over and tell them personally, I don't want them to worry before driving.
Lisa answers nearly immediately. I can hear that she is extremely worried.

"Ryan, is Kate alright? Tell me she is okay."

I try to use my calm tone, I care for Lisa as well.
"It's okay,Lisa. Calm down. She is asleep. We have been at my neurologist friend and he had some news but not so much that I would like to talk on the phone. Could you and Matt come over? But please don't worry,it's not the worst, but I just want you to be here with her as well and you are her friends,you are important to me as well, I want to tell everything to you personally cause there's also much to share. Could you come over after work? And yeah, bring Matt as well."

I could hear her sigh at the end of the line but just said:
"Okay, we'll be there in an hour."

So I have an hour to get my thoughts together and tell them everything, how hard these few days will be. We have two more critical days to go and who knows whether she must then go into the hospital or not. I need to calm down. Everything will be okay. I need my calm tone to myself as well. Kate is tough. We can handle this. And she will get better soon and we end this pain as quickly as we can.
I realised that I only have 10 minutes till Matt and Lisa arrives.
I just put on my jeans and a black t-shirt. Then I hear her ring the doorbell.
Let me be strong enough to tell them everything. And to ask for help. We need them, Kate especially. She will have a hard time with Matt after she realised that Matt told me everything about her past but they need to get this over among themselves. So I can imagine some yelling amongst them. But I will protect Kate. From everything. Cause she is my Everything.