Is it love? - Ryan. Dangerous to Love.

God is the best professional

Ryan's POV.

I easily reached the psychologist that I found online. He sounded extremely nice and understanding about our situation. He guaranteed discretion and immediate help. I told him everything what happened exactly and he offered a meeting for today evening. It was faster than I thought but he made me sure that he thinks that Kate needs immediate help after what he heard about her. He understood the current situation and the hell Kate went through. He agreed to come to our apartment cause we are both afraid to move Kate out of her safe place for now. And I am not planning on telling her anything. And we talked about it with Elijah that we will be both present at the meetings. Kate and I as well. I can help her open up while I also get all the information she would share. We hung up after we talked over everything. The rest is up for today evening.

Kate was still asleep when I was on the phone but she woke up not so much later. And everything is the same. She still doesn't talk. She tries to push me away even when I want to hug her but I am not giving up on being close to her. I know I shouldn't force everything but I get her into my arms. I don't hurt her but I am not letting her go. I just keep her strongly in my arms. And she cries. Not so surprisingly. I also need her to eat something but it's mostly a failed attempt. Sometimes I can force some fruit into her but it's not one of those times. She just turns her head away for food. After unsuccessful attempts for getting out of my embrace, she finally rests her head on my chest and grabs my shirt. She tries to calm herself down and holds that piece of fabric strong in her arm. She is quickly asleep again but now without any pills. I am not planning on sedating her this much cause she hates me because of doing that. I can feel her anger and that she is afraid of me and hell no I won't play this game.
I must tell her a million times that she needs to stay calm and than I won't have to use these meds and I tell her uncountable times that I won't hurt her, I would never ever hurt her.
So for the first time, she can calm herself to sleep until Elijah arrives.

When Elijah arrives, she is sitting outside in the balcony just looking at the birds and the flowers. She seems calmer thank God. But I guess we need to make this step to end this calmness.
So I go out to her and hold her hand.
"Kate, there is someone here you need to meet." I meet with fear in her eyes immediately.
"He won't hurt you. I will introduce you to each other. Just stay calm."

She finally agreed that she will come inside.
"Kate, this is Dr. Elijah Smith. He is a psychologist. He came to talk. " I looked at her and she didn't seem too thrilled about a psychologist. Elijah was 27 years old with brown hair and brown eyes. He looks extremely kind but not in a bad way. There's some positivity radiating from him. Which I guess is not a big surprise, faith can bring us to our greatest self. God sent him towards our way I am pretty sure of that. He offered a hand shake for Kate but she refused it and hide in my embrace. I shook hands with Elijah and we went towards the living room.
Elijah was smiling at Kate all the time but it's not that easy to break through that shell.
When we sat down, he finally talked.
"I know Kate what happened to you. And I know that you are not planning on saying a single word to me. But for now all I can ask from you is to listen. I am here to help. And I am not the only one who came to help. Ryan didn't call me by accident and didn't choose me by accident. I need a full introduction for myself. I am a Christian psychologist. So you can guess how much work God put into this that I am here right now. I can guess that you heard many times from psychologists that they will help. But you won't hear it from me. God will help you Kate. I am offering my work to Him but He will be the one helping you not me. But he can only help if you ask him Kate. He loves you. "

And for my surprise, Kate started speaking in a hurtful, angry voice:
"Hell no. He has never helped me. I asked him countless times and he just put me through this suffering. And anger. "
I thought that Elijah will lose his temper because of the tone Kate used but he stayed calm.

"Do you think that God is giving you this anger Kate? You really think that our God who loves us no matter how sinful we are would fill us with this hatred and anger? I think you are mistaken. You don't ask for help because you don't know who you are asking help from. First you need to understand that if God would be the only influence in this world, you wouldn't have to live through any of this that you went through. But as I can see, you know someone really well, but that someone is the devil itself. Don't confuse them. Big mistake. The One who Creates can't be mistaken by the one who only destroys. Have you been raised in a religious family Kate?"

"Yes. And my parents just died a horrible death while all they did was praying to God and living a religious life. "

"It wasn't the outcome I wanted with my question. My real hidden question was that you must know the Bible. But it seems that your memory needs a refresh.
John said:
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10:10)

It has all the answers you need Kate. God has all the answers you need. But you need to believe in Him. The loss and grief of losing your parents eats you alive. But if you would believe in God, you would believe that you will meet again with your parents. The first step for you is to believe. You can't ask help from someone you don't even believe in. "

"What do you know about me? And about my faith? You don't even know me. You have met me 20 minutes ago."
Kate absolutely closed up. But of course she closed up. Elijah sees through her. He must see through both of us.

"I don't have to know you Kate. Your actions prove themselves. We can say anything but how we act, that's what says everything about us. We can preach and preach but if our acts don't match, we are hypocrites. And before you start defending yourself, I would never say something this bad about anyone. We always try to get away from the sin of judging. But God knows who we are. He knows every motive behind our actions. But sometimes we are too blind to see Him. And He sees you Kate. And He feels your pain and wants to help but only if you believe in him and open your heart and your eyes to Him. You so easily let devil into your life but shut the doors in front of God? Just think through this. I won't ask anything else Kate. Everyone tries to help but God is the only one who can help. And I can talk hours about it if you don't even wanna hear my words. But I won't give up on you Kate. No one will ever give up on you. And the most important. God won't give up on you. He has that amazing skill that He doesn't give up on anyone. I would like to leave this Bible here. Just to let you explore it. Find that one moment when your strength overcomes your anger and open this Bible up. And just read. Write down anything that helps you to get strength. Any words you feel safe from. And when the devil tries to shake the ground under your feet, concentrate on those words. It won't go smoothly from one day to another but please try. You must try Kate. It's a war. And the winner gets your soul. You got your life as the most precious gift God could give you and he doesn't want to lose you. He is fighting for you. And if you ask Him, He will fight together with you as well. You can lean on Him. But don't try to identify what happens because of Him and what happens because of the influence of the devil. Cause if you make a mistake in identifying you forget God's undying love for you. Don't believe your judgement, believe His own words."
And with this Elijah put a Bible onto our coffee table and stood up:
"But I think that's more than enough for today. What seems short in time, is overwhelming for the soul. I leave you to think. You have your free will. You have been given that as a gift too. You decide on the next step. But never forget that you decide on your soul as well Kate. You protect it or lose it. God can't save you if you decide on giving up. We should meet in let's say 4 days. Don't rush things. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to have the strength to open up this Bible. Ask to understand what it says to you. And read and read and write down everything that leaves a mark on your soul. And I will help you understand them. God bless both of you and stay strong, this battle is not over. Until there's air in your lungs and your heart beats you still have a chance for a new day."