Let's Hurt Tonight

8

Amelia

"You've got to be fucking joking!" Shannon yells. She sticks her head out from the kitchen, her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed. I can't tell if she's teasing me right now or if she actually is angry. "Harry Styles asks you on a date and you say no?"

I roll my eyes and turn my attention away from her and back to the television I was lazily watching before this painful conversation came up. I shouldn't have said anything but it was hard keeping my and Harry's new friendship a secret. I gently told her the news and she immediately blew up in my face. Sure, maybe I shouldn't have kept it a secret, but I think Shannon's anger goes beyond that for whatever reason.

"I didn't say no. Not technically anyways. I basically just said I wanted to go slow and see what happens. Besides...just because he's Harry Styles doesn't mean I have to go on a date with him. He's more than just a pretty face."

"All the more reason to date him. He's Harry fucking Styles!" Shannon scoffs. "He's hot as hell and unlike any guy literally anywhere! You'd be fucking crazy to reject that!"

"That". He's not a fucking object.

I sigh as I vaguely see Shannon disappear back into the kitchen from my peripheral vision. I knew I shouldn't have told her but on top of it being difficult to keep a secret, I also figured that if Harry ever wanted to come over I would have to break the news eventually. It would be awkward if Shannon came in one day and saw Harry and me just casually sitting on the couch.

"I don't even know what going slow means," Shannon continues from the other room.

I sink lower in my seat. I wish this conversation would end. I shouldn't feel bad about wanting to go slow in a relationship. They're my feelings and the fact that I feel guilty about them tells me something is wrong, and not with Harry.

Besides, why is she making it seem like I have to date Harry? Maybe we'll just wind up friends, which I'm perfectly content with. There's nothing wrong with that. Just because he's fit and famous doesn't mean I have to try and get in his pants. There's more to life than sex.

"We're just seeing where things go," I reiterate.

Shannon comes out of the kitchen, her blonde hair whipping behind her, and takes a seat on the chair across from me. She glares at me with icy eyes, a look I'm not accustomed to.

"You better snatch him before he finds someone better," she bitterly says to me.

I clench my jaw at her words. What kind of bullshit comment is that? Does she really think that little of me?

"'Before he finds someone better'?" I scoff, repeating her words. "What kind of friend are you? You're supposed to support me in my decisions, not ridicule me or pressure me to date someone I don't want to!"

I stand up and angrily make my way to my room, not wanting to be in the same room as Shannon anymore. I'm not a yeller and I hate when things get tense. It causes me to shut down so the only thing I can think to do is to avoid the situation altogether.

I throw myself on my bed once I reach my room, and mindlessly begin to scroll through Instagram on my phone in a weak attempt to cool off. Shannon's words still run rampant through my brain, torturing my thoughts.

You better snatch him before he finds someone better.

Who says that to someone, let alone a friend? I think maybe she was just coming from a dark place since, like myself, Shannon suffers from her own insecurities. She's desperate for attention and sometimes struggles when she doesn't get it. We've been in situations before where I'll be on the receiving end of what she wants and I can tell it really bothers her.