Fall for You | OT4

☾❙thirty three

luke closed the book and sighed.

this just wasn't working this time.

maybe it's because he has a thousand thoughts running in his mind. every part of his brain is shouting over each other, trying to get luke to listen to them. instead, it's only making him more frustrated and upset.

he feels silly for not being able to sleep. he feels ridiculous that he needs time to think about everything that has been going on. it's quite simple, the boys just want to be his friend, why is it so complicated for luke to learn and understand?

but it's hard because luke believes he doesn't deserve to have friends. he feels like he doesn't deserve this. he's just a random boy, a random fan, and is suddenly talking to the boys he has looked up to for so long. not only that, but he doesn't understand why they care about him so much. there's more to the story than just 'we want to be your friend'. luke has a gut feeling that it's something else, and he wants to know. but he respects the boys, and won't push any answers out of them.

it is not up to him to demand answers. he needs to wait for ashton, calum, and michael to be comfortable to admit their reasons and their feelings. not just himself. he doesn't even know how he feels about them right now. does he want to continue being their friends? hell yes he does, but then yet, won't he start to be notice when fans see him out with the boys? what about the paparazzi? he can't handle that, nor does he think he ever will. there will be rumors, lies, and hate for absolute no reason. there are just some cruel people out there who will find a reason to hate you for no reason.

while most of the fans are supportive and very nice, there are the ones who will hate one of their friends or girlfriend/boyfriend because they're so protective of them. while luke understands, the boys are grown men and can date whoever they want. they can do whatever they want to.

right now everything is just so confusing and luke doesn't know if he's ever going to be able to think clearly again.