Fall for You | OT4

seventy two

it was around twelve am when they decided to settle down. they watched three movies (one of them definitely not being frozen 2. and ashton definitely didn't cry). ashton, being the 'dad' of the group said that they should calm down and get some sleep. or at least, try to get some sleep.

since they were in luke's apartment, there was a bit of a problem. luke only had one queen sized bed, which meant only two people could sleep in the bed, while the other two sleep out in the living room.

"i'm taking the couch, whether you like it or not." luke argues for the third time.

"no, you need to get some good sleep, lu. you're sleeping in your bed." calum argues back.

they've been arguing about who gets the bed for the past five minutes. luke felt like as if it were not fair if he slept on his bed. his boyfriends are here, therefore they should get the best. they are the 'guests' of the house.

"so do you! my sleep isn't any more important than yours!"

calum gives luke a 'really?' look. luke tried to justify their sleep, but only gives up when he realizes that his boyfriends are going to make him sleep in his own bed. he huffs and pouts. "you are mean."

"oh, and michael is gonna share their bed with you." ashton says.

"ashton, no!" michael pouts.

"ashton, yes."

"ashton." michael whines.

it's not that he didn't want to share the bed with luke, he just knows that calum and ashton won't get good rest. sleeping on the couch all night isn't exactly comfortable. he hates when they do this. every time there is only one single bed, they always make him sleep in it. he appreciates and loves that they care about him so much... but what about them?

ashton just stares at michael, and the guitarist sighs. he's not going to argue. he's tired, and he knows ashton will only start to get grouchy. he doesn't want to deal with a grouchy ashton right now, or ever honestly.

"fine." michael mumbles.

luke gives ashton and calum pillows, blankets, some pj's, and hugs them goodnight. he kissed their cheeks before going to his bedroom. michael follows behind slowly and sadly. he hates going to bed knowing his other two boyfriends are going to be sleeping on a couch.

luke gives michael a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. he goes to change in the bathroom to give him privacy. he's not ready or comfortable to change in front of them. not yet.

luke comes out of the bathroom, and smiles at the sight of michael. he's curled up in the blankets, and makes grabby hands towards luke. he chuckled and climbs in the bed next to him. michael immediately snuggles close to him and sighs. luke hold back every strength in his body to not coo. michael is just so damn adorable.

they don't say a word, nor try to sleep. they just hold each other. luke looks down at michael in adoration and smiles. he's so happy. he's so happy to have such amazing boyfriends. he can never get tired of talking about them. he just... he loves them. that's the only way to put it. he's loved them even before they started dating. however, that was a 'i love this band' kind of love. this love, it's different. it's an appreciated love. they've only been dating for a month, he's not at that 'i love love you' stage yet, but he knows he eventually will.

luke feels bad for not feeling that way, but it's better than forcing himself to feel like that. he doesn't ever want his love for his boyfriends to feel forced, or fake. he knows that feeling all too well. ashton, calum, and michael don't deserve to feel like that. it ruins you, mentally and physically.

"luke?"

luke snaps out of his thoughts, and blushes when he realizes michael caught him staring. "sorry, i was just thinking."

"what about?" michael asks.

luke bites his lip. how does he explain how he feels to michael? how do you explain to someone that you don't love them? maybe he will understand since they've only been together for a month. or maybe he won't and he will hate him forever. then he'll tell calum and ashton, and then they will all hate him.

"are you okay to receive information that could possibly hurt you?"

michael snorts, but then his smile fades when he realizes luke is being serious. his heart rate speeds up in fear and worry.

"um... i guess?" michael mumbles, playing with the end of luke's shirt.

and dear god, luke's heart feels like it's in his throat. he can't do this. telling someone you don't love them is a big slap to the face. sometimes, quite literally. but it's not like luke doesn't like them. that is not what he means at all. he doesn't want to say i love you to his boyfriend when he doesn't mean it. of course he's going to say it back when they do, but that is only because he means it in their... how does he even explain it? it's not a friendship way... just a... meaningful, bigger 'i like you'.

"just, about us and... love." luke says, wincing slightly.

"what about love?" michael asks quietly.

luke is silent for a moment. he has no idea how to word this. goddamn it, why did he have to say he was thinking? he knows they are going to ask him what, and he cannot lie to them.

"i... i do not mean this in a terrible way. i'm so incredibly happy to be you guy's boyfriend. and i know that you, ashton, and calum love each other since you've been together for so long. but... i don't feel that way, yet. i really really like all of you, but i'm not at the 'love love' stage right now, you know? i'm sorry, you can hate me and break up with me-"

"luke, baby, i understand. it's okay. i'm not going to hate you or be upset that you don't love us just yet. like you said, we've only been together for a month. this isn't snow white, this is real life. it takes time to fall in love. even for us."

in that moment, luke had the most overwhelming feeling to just kiss michael and hold him close. with little control over his feelings, that overwhelming feeling took control. at first, he panicked, but then soon calmed down he felt michael kiss him back. and god, luke is in pure bliss.

his first kiss. his first kiss with one of his boyfriends. he didn't expect it to be so soon, but goddamn it he regrets waiting so long.

michael pulled away for breath, and they just stared at each other. michael's pupils were blown wide, and his green eyes looked as if they were sparkling. his lips curled into a smile, and he kissed luke again.

that's what it felt like to fall for michael.

____

1) THEY DID THE KITH

2) long time no see . how is
everyone ?