Dumbass akatsuki scenarios

god damn it hidan pt 4

Everyone gathered around the dinner table, stomachs growling yearning to be filled with bomb ass food. "Alright everyone, thank your God aka me for this wonderful meal." Pein said sitting down at the head of the table. "Oh so fuck our hard work, slaving in the damn kitchen I guess." Konan mumbled to Itachi, whom was helping set up the table. 

  Once everything was set, everyone took a seat at the table and began to serve themselves a fair amount of food. Everything was going swell until a certain silver hair male came bursting in. "What's up motherfuckers!"  "And there goes the peace in this dinner" mumbled a sassy redhead.

   The silverette sat down at the other end of the table, a smirk wide across his face. "Have I got a story to tell you bitches." Kakuzu groaned before speaking. "Look jackass, you know the rules no chitchat at the table, unless it's about a mission."

   Hidan scoffed before reaching into his pocket. "Well old fucker, you're all out of fucken luck today cause I got this!" He pulled out a crumbled napkin flashing it so that everyone could see.

"A used napkin hn?" Hidan looked at the napkin. "No dumbfucks, what's written on the damn thing." Itachi grabbed the napkin from hidan and took a closer look at it. "One free coupon for hidan to speak about any subject at anytime." The uchiha looked up at everyone, worry slowly starting to grow in his eyes. "That's right and I wanna cash this baby in right fucken now!"

  Everyone began to complain. "Who's smartass idea was it to give him that?!" Ask an angry pein. Itachi's eyes widened for a moment. "Well, if you can remember....."

*Flashback*

  "What's good bitches, it's my birthday so what the fuck did you guys get me?!"

"Shit we forgot to get him a gift." Whispered pein to Itachi.

"The fuck is my gift leader bitch?" Pein paused for a moment trying to find an excuse for not having gotten him a gift.

"Well, see here hidan w-"

"Here you go hidan." Said Itachi handing hidan a napkin.
"The fuck is this?, To wipe my ass with?" Hidan frowned flapping the napkin in their faces.

"Now hidan, if you'd look closely you'd see that it's a coupon." Said the young raven. Hidan looked at him confused before looking at the napkin once more. "Bitch!, You know I can't fucken read!" Itachi rolled his eyes before taking the napkin from Hidan's hands.

"One free coupon for hidan to speak about any subject at anytime and everyone must listen to him, no matter how disturbing the subject may be."

Hidan's eyes widened before pulling the uchiha into a hug and a kiss. "Oh god hidan!" Mumbled the now angry and grossed out raven. "Best fucken gift ever! Imma save this baby for a good fucken story!" Hidan said holding the napkin up as Itachi wiped his mouth.
"Yes and take into consideration that it doesn't have an expiration date." Added pein.

"Thanks uchiha and leader bitch!" He then stormed off to go show his gift off to Kakuzu. "Nice save there Itachi" pein said wiping the sweat from his temples. "No problem." Mumbled the uchiha still wiping his mouth. "I think I need to drink bleach."

*End of flashback*

"Fucken fantastic Itachi!" Shouted pein. "Why the fuck would you give him something like that!" Shouted konan. "That was a dumbass move on your part Itachi." Shouted Sasori. "And here we thought you were the smart one, yeah." Shouts deidara. Everyone kept shouting at the raven, throwing down some rough shit. "ALRIGHT I GET IT!,IT WAS A BAD MOVE ON MY END. BUT TO BE FRANK, I THOUGHT HE WOULD FORGET ABOUT IT!" shouted Itachi as he slammed his palms onto the table.