Dumbass akatsuki scenarios

warrents

Note this will be told in modern AU 

* Hidan was currently driving with the whole akatsuki in the car, pein was in the passenger seat. While konan, itachi, and kakuzu were in the second seats. Kakuzu and konan were busy trying to put pressure on itachi Lower stomach to not bleed out. Deidara, Sasori, and obito/Tobi were in the the third seat watching itachi and them, while zetzu was in back were you put the grocery *
Konan: " he's losing a lot of blood, we need to get him to the hospital fast "
Deidara: " but why hn, can't we just let him die un "
Pein: " deidara! "
Deidara: " i'm just saying hn, he's not really that important to the akatsuki yeah "
Kakuzu: " no deidara we can't let him die, his father is the chief of police. If he finds out itachi was in the akatsuki, we're all dead "
Deidara: " we can always run hn "
Konan: " enough!, How far is the hospital pein? "
Pein: " ten more miles, hidan can't you drive faster, what don't tell me you got warrants "
Hidan: " bitch I do got warrants "
* Hidan reaches to the glove department and pulls out some papers *
Hidan: " J walking in public "
* Hidan throws the paper somewhere in the back seat *
Hidan: " Eating grapes in the grocery store without paying for them "
* Hidan throws another paper back there *
Hidan: " Sexually harassing deidara in public "
Deidara: " i Remember that hn "
* Deidara shivers at the thought, and hidan throws another paper in the back *
Hidan: " Driving with my hands off the wheel, I'll be ghost riding that shit because I like doing that shit "
* And as hidan said that he took his hands off the wheel and turned to look at konan *
Pein: " hidan! "
* Hidan puts his hands back on the wheel and throws another paper in the back *
Hidan: " And Having an altercation with kakuzu, but that's because he provoked me "
Konan: " just drive faster idiot! "
Hidan: " alright damn don't got to yell "
* Hidan drives faster and they finally make it to the hospital *
Pein: " alright since everyone basically know our identity, deidara you're going in with itachi "
Deidara: " WHAT! Why me hn? "
Pein: " because everyone else basically know our identity, now go in there "
Deidara: * sighs heavily * " fine hn "
* They drop deidara and itachi by the entrance, and they walk in and deidara goes and play the part of the scared friend *
Deidara: " help! My friend got shot and is bleeding badly!! "
* Two nurses goes up to him and take itachi to get medical attention, and deidara waits in the waiting room. Soon they tell him itachi ok and he could go see him *
* Deidara Walks into the room and sees itachi in the bed *
Deidara: " hey you ok uchiha bastard un? "
Itachi: " yeah "
* Before deidara could ask him anything else there's a knock on the door, and they both look at each other confused *
Itachi: " come in "
* Itachi gives deidara the ' act natural ' look, and fugaku walks in *
Itachi: " father? "
Fugaku: " Itachi? "
Itachi: " what are you doing here? "
Fugaku: " I got a call someone came in and had been shot, I didn't think it was you. Itachi what happened? "
Itachi: " oh well me and my friend deidara over here "
* He points to deidara and fugaku looks at him *
Fugaku: " ok go on "
Itachi: " well me and deidara were in the park hanging out, when some people drived up to where we were. They asked me if I was the son of the chief of police, I said yeah. And they pulled out a gun and shot me and drove away, and deidara saw if I was ok and he drove me to the hospital "
* Fugaku wrote the whole thing down in his little notebook *
Fugaku: " and did you know who they were? "
Itachi: " uh they had on a headband that had a music note on it "
Fugaku: " the sound I see, I'll make sure to take care of this itachi. I called your mother she's on her way "
Itachi: " ok thank you Father "
Deidara: " thank you Mr. Uchiha yeah, I was so worried I would lose him hn "
Fugaku: " uh yeah I'll be going, I'll see you at home itachi "
Itachi: " of course father "
* Fugaku walks out of the room *
Deidara: " that was close hn, and that was all an act yeah, I could careless if you die un "
Itachi: " that's not what you were saying last night "
* Deidara face goes red *
Deidara: " Shut up hn!!! "