Life lessons with villain Deku

IM NOT A TODLER

Izuku's pov

Toga and I were watching Toddlers and Tiaras when Dabi came in with a box. " what's in the box?" I ask.

" just sparkily dresses, tiaras and other stuff that I stole from that lady."

" Are you thinking what I'm thinking?~" Toga asked.

"no"

" whyyyyyy"

" because I refuse to be but into a poofy dress" Then I got up and walked out of the bar. I put my hands in my pockets and walk through the bad part of town. when I see a shady alleyway, I remember what AllMight said on that one TV show

" kids never walk down shady always" so I say screw you AllMight and walk through the ally. I see a homeless man near a trashcan and walk up to him.

" hay their homie," I say. The man glares at me and goes back to whatever he's doing. " ... So i-" before I can finish, he slaps me over the head, and I start to shrink. When I look back to the man, he's gone. " Fuck!"

Toga's POV

Dabi and I kept looking through the stuff in the box. " you know who would be a great pageant mom?" I ask

"who?"

" Tomura because he is always grouchy," I say then I giggle. Dabi smiles a bit later we hear a high voice coming through the hallways

" Fuck can I never have a fucking good day living with you people without something happing to me, this is so shitty and fuck life." Dabi and I look at each other we both know who is yelling, but why does he sound differnt. I then see familiar green hair.

" Zuzu?" I see a toddler with a wight button-up shirt and a tie crossing his arms. " o my god, your adorible~!" I say before picking him up. He starts kicking at me, but I don't care.

" what happened?" Dabi asks coming up to Zuzu and me.

" some shitty homeless guy hit me, and the next thing I know is my pants don't fit, and I'm the size of a five-year-old." He says, I squeal and hug Izuku tighter. " GET OFF ME!"

" what's all the yelling about I trying to see- wtf," Tomura says standing in the doorway. Everyone stares and Tomura comes up and pats Izuku on the head. " Lol, your smol and cute."

" fuck you handyman" Izuku tries kicking Tomura, but he misses.

" Look at your little legs you probably ca even reach the barstools," Tomura says laughing at Izuku who then flips him off.

" OMG GUYS I HAVE AN IDEA," I hen point to the box on the floor " Zuzu is going to be in a pageant."

"NO" he yells

" YES" Tomura, and I say Together. Dabi just nods and pulls out a camera.

( time skip)

No one's POv

Izuku sat on the floor, pouting. Tomura had held him down while Dabi forced him into a poofy pink princess dress. At least izuku had bitten Dabi in the process, so that was fun. Toga had then dragged Izuku into a warp gate to a pageant they somehow new was coming out.

There were a lot of people there, and while the others went to sign izuku in a little girl came up to him " what?" Izuku said

" I like your dress" Izuku looked at the girl she had one horn and wight hair.

" whats your name shithead."

" eri" the two talked for a little bit.

" have you ever seen a dead body cause I can show you one."

" your a weird girl," Eri said

" IM NOT A GIRL" Toga looked and ran over.

" haha yes, he Is mean she is shes just a little cranky because she didn't have a nap."

" I HAD MY FUCKING NAP"

" see cranky we got to go now" then Toga dragged Izuku away and to the changing room.

" What the hell Toga!" Izuku asked.

"you're almost up, and I got to do your hair."

" what no."

" yes now stay still" Izuku has never been so scared in his whole life. Soon izuku was waiting to go and saw a girl walk on stage. The announcer said.

" fina is a depressed emo girl that has too many ships even ones other chan doesn't agree with shes 15 and her mom is still making her do pageants, get a life right." The girl did her routine and walked off.

" Number 17 step on stage." Izuku rolled his eyes and walked on stage. " Izuku is a nice little girl" Izuku flinched" who likes to sing and help old people do walk across the street" ' ya right' izuku thought. " now for her routine give it up for izuku."

izuku walked in the middle of the stage and got out his glitter. He through the glitter and said " Mmmmaaaaggggiiiiicccc" then walked off. Everybody clapped. Then it was time for the speeches.

" Now tell us why you should win?"

" because I'm cute."

' because my mom said if I don't win ill be kicked out of her basement."

" Why am I here."

Izuku cheered his voice and said.

" because I'm a little gay boy who just wants a chance to win and be known to the world and to show you that you can do anything. and IM FUCKING ADORABLE" no one clapped " clap or ill shoot you" everybody clapped and stood up.

Everybody lined up " now its time for the winners. In first we have cassy, in a second we have Tiffiny, and in first we have IZUKU MIDORIA because I'm afraid if he doesn't win. Would you like to say anything?

" yes first I would like to thank That homeless guy cause I wouldn't be here without him, next my family for forcing me out here someone please call CPS and finally kachhan that little bitch, I just want him to know FUCK HIM AND HIS QUIRK ok BYYYY" izuku then went back to the bar.

"sup losers."

" hay," Dabi says. Izuku then suddenly poofed.

" Oh come on why did the dress grow too how do I get out of this trap"

" not telling you," Toga said

" lol," Tomura said

" no one says LOL" Dabi yells.

" shut up."

" no, you."

" ugggggg I hate this family," then a box dropped on izuku's head from the sky. " the fuck."

HAyyyyyyyy next chapter, " don't go in wormholes to differnt dimensions."