~Jisung’s POV~
The cold air, the rushing cars, the sounds of the vehicles rolling, people chatting… Everything seemed louder, and the air seemed colder. I stared at the rushing cars, and felt myself moving forward, closer to that eternal sleep I had been asking for. There was a sudden bright light, and everything fell silent. It felt like time stopped, I had a moment of pure bliss… I couldn’t feel any of my pain, I felt light, like nothing could stop me. Nothing could hurt me anymore. I just felt, amazing. But I did suddenly feel something… a pair of arms around my waist. It felt like time had continued again, and the person holding me pulled me back away from the road, and onto the safety of the sidewalk. I blinked a few times and looked around, then I turned back and saw who it was that grabbed me.
“ What were you doing?! “ He shrieked at me, turning me to face him.
“ I’m sorry Chenle… uhm, I was just- “
“ Just what?! Just casually walking into a busy street?! “ I looked down, avoiding his eyes. He grabbed my hand and started walking, but not towards home.
“ Uhm Chenle, where are we going? “
“ Breakfast. I need to talk to you. “ We continued walking to some breakfast place, we ordered food and then wandered back home. We sat down in the backyard and ate, to be honest I was starving.
“ Jisung… we need to talk now. I have questions… “
“ Alright, start asking. “
“ Well… why haven’t you been taking your medications?” I stayed silent for a few moments, I wasn’t entirely sure I was ready to talk about this.
“ Well… the trazodone does help me sleep… and I don’t have nightmares… but it makes me really tired during the day. And when I’m tired is when I see things the most. “
“ And what about your antidepressants? “
“ I don’t need them. “
“ You don’t need them? Then why were the prescribed to you? “
“ I’m not depressed, Chenle. I was just sad at the time and my mother over reacted. I’m perfectly fine. “
“ Well… I don’t think so. Care to explain what happened earlier? “ My chest felt tight and I shifted uncomfortably, I didn’t even know what to say.
“ I was just zoning out… I was sleepy and didn’t realize there were so many cars. “
“ I don’t believe you. “ I became frustrated. Not entirely at Chenle, but because my eyes were watering. I’m so stupid… I shouldn’t be crying over something this dumb. With all my frustration, I just burst into tears. And the fact that Chenle instantly went to comfort me… it was all too much. I desperately wanted to hug him and cry onto his shoulder and tell him what’s been going on, but at the same time I just wanted to push him away and yell at him to leave me alone, and that I wasn’t a child and I didn’t need him. After a few moments of thinking, I firmly pressed my hands against Chenle’s chest and shoved him away.
“ I don’t… need you! I’m not a child Chenle, so stop treating me like one! “ I looked at him, expecting that same shocked expression… but it was different. He was crying. I suddenly forgot why I was even mad, I stared at Chenle.
“ Why are you crying...? “ He looked up at me and smiled a little, he shook his head.
“ Yeah, you’re right. You’re not a child. I’ll leave you alone then. “ Chenle got up and went inside, I just sat there quietly. I know I told him I didn’t need him but… I think I do need him… I didn’t want him to leave… Oh no...
