After-An Allegiant fanfic

Part 32-Then

Disclaimer: All rights to Veronica Roth

Then: 

We've spent the last two hours coming up with plans for the new city. Everything from jobs to the political system. I haven't given Johanna an answer yet, but the more I think about it, the more I think that that might be something I'd like to do. I've spent so much of my life fighting - fighting my father, fighting in Dauntless - I think it would be a nice and welcome change. 

After a few hours we all split off for the night, deciding to continue tomorrow. I'm now sitting at the bottom of the chasm, the place where I first kissed Tris, counting off all the things that I am going to miss about Dauntless. The list is surprisingly short. My apartment never really felt like home, more like an echo of what I could have, but never did. And I never had a job I was really interested in, either. The only thing I really think I'm going to miss is the memories. Laughing with Zeke, getting my tattoos, - my first rely symbol of rebellion - playing Dare. And Tris. Kissing her. Teaching her. Learning from her. The brightness that used to fill my heart whenever she walked in the room. I know that after this place I'll still have those memories, but it feels as if they'll be faded slightly, like some part of them will crumble with The Pit. And no matter the state of things now, I need those memories, they're the only thing really holding me together. The past makes a fantastic cure for the present. And with the memories a twinge of pain, of longing, but mostly it just makes me feel numb, and for one fleetingly lovely second I am back there. Water hitting my feet, my lips pressed to hers. 

"Four!" The voice cuts through my thoughts, bringing me pack to reality. And I suddenly feel very cold, as her loss crashes in again. It is only in moments that I really let myself think that the ache hits. 

I look up. It's Christina, a bright smile on her lips. From this far away, it almost looks real. "

"Come on! We're all getting tattoos, one last Dauntless act."

I make my way back up the path to The Pit, meeting her at the top. We start walking towards the tattoo parlour, a thick silence between us. It is not until we are halfway there that the question hits me.

"Christina? How exactly are we getting tattoos? Last time I checked, no one here knew how to tattoo people. And I'm not really sure I'm okay with Zeke sticking needles into me."

She laughs a small laugh, like a breath, before answering. And somehow she sounds happy. It is a nice thing to hear. "Apparently Hana was a tattoo artist way-back-when. Used to work with Tori."

I nod, and we lapse back into silence. Then suddenly, right before we reach the tattoo parlour, Christina pulls me into a hallway that juts off The Pit. 

"Christina, what-"

I never get the rest of the words out. Because suddenly her lips press against mine. 

And somehow I find myself kissing back. I bring my hands up and around her neck, my fingers twirling into her hair. With my eyes closed, it is so easy to imagine that her hair is blonde instead of brown, that her lips taste like salt and love instead of cherry lipgloss. 

I mumble her name against her lips. 

"Tris."

Wrong name. Wrong lips. 

Christina instantly pulls away, and immediately her cheeks flush and she casts her eyes downwards. 

"I-I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that, I don't know what came over me," Her words are rushed, all coming in one breath. And I think that, through the dull blue light, I can see tears glistening on her cheek. "I guess I just thought that maybe because we were both missing the same person, we could miss her together."

"Christina," I say slowly, putting my hand on her shoulder. Her eyes move up to meet mine, and underneath the embarrassment, I can see the pure hurt there. The same hurt that I'm feeling. "I don't blame you. And I think there is some part of me that wants that too, to just forget, but I can't do that. You're the one that told me that. Because that is not someone she would want me to be. And no matter how hard I may try to let go of it, she still owns my heart. Probably always will. 

"I know that you can get through this, Christina. And I'll always be your friend, but I don't think I could ever be more. You heard what I said, She's too much a part of me. But I don't know what I would do without her presence. Without her effect on me. I wouldn't be who I am. And neither would you. And that's a good thing. Because who you are is pretty damn fantastic."

She laughs slightly, before taking my arm in hers. "Thanks, Tobias. And I know that you can get through it too. Now come on, let's go get tattoos!"

She wipes the tears off her cheeks before slipping back into the Pit, me in tow. We eventually get to the parlour where everyone is, except Johanna Reyes, who has gone back to Erudite, where she has been staying. 

"Nice of you to finally join us!" Zeke shouts from the chair where he sits, getting Dauntless flames wrapping around and burning 2 letters - GD - tattooed up his arm. Showing that what our genes say doesn't matter. 

Cara sits in a chair right next to Shauna, sporting her first tattoo. just four letters on her wrist. 'Will'. 

If Shauna has a tattoo it isn't visible. Neither are Amar our George's. Caleb, has a small Abnegation symbol on his wrist. 

"A reminder of where I came from," he says when he sees me looking. "A reminder of who I want to be."

I nod, then turn my attention back to Zeke, who is calling my name.

"Four! You're up next!"

I go over to chair and sit down, facing Hana. 

"What would you like, Four?" her voice stings slightly, but I know that it will take her a while to accept me again. And I am willing to wait. 

"A raven," I say, pointing to my chest, right over my heart. "Right here."

Sh nods, and gets to work, branding me with a mark of the person I loved most.

Tris told me that the birds were for her family, and that is exactly what mine is for as well. Because she was my family. And she'll always be a part of me. And this tattoo shows that. That our love was - is - permanent. 

A/N: Hello!!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know I enjoyed writing it. And just to let you know, the next chapter will probably be the last. I'm like 99% sure. I just feel as if this story is coming to a close, and it has been almost a year. I am so gratful for all of you that have read this. It has been one fantastic journey!

Until next time!

DFTBA!

Molly

P.S any gallagher girls or heist society fans out there, me and my friends just started a new crossover fic called Keep Your Friends Close and Your Family Closer. If you would like to read it it is on my profile!!!