Our little secret

Chapter 9

Lucas PoV

She grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer to her again "Why did you do that?"

"I don't know .... I'm sorry" I had probably just made things worse with Maya

"You don't have to be sorry" she half smiled

She still had hold of my shirt and we were really close I didn't want to move away and I think she didn't either

Maya looked down at my lips whilst biting her own lip which is so attractive when she does it and she does it every time she thinking she then placed her lips on mine and moved her hand off my shirt I kissed her back

I moved my hands to her waist and Maya put her arms around my neck "No I can't we can't" Maya said stopping the kiss

She moved her hands away from around my neck, we both wanted this but it would be wrong I am dating Riley her best friend it was like high school all over again but much more complicated now

"This is bad. This is so bad!" I said feeling guilty, and moving my hands away 

"Horrible!" She said just as worried as me

"Wait the uh, the kiss or the situation?" I asked curiously hoping she meant the situation

"No-no the kiss was good" a slight smile on her face but it soon faded

"But no, that's bad!" she bit her lip nervously thinking

"Okay here's what we do we-we forget it happened" she said suddenly I didn't want to forget it we both had feelings for each other and I didn't want to just forget about that "What?" I asked

"We just have to swallow are feelings even if it means we are unhappy for a little" she looked down at her hands

"Can you really do that?" I wondered because I knew I couldn't

"I have to she's my best friend and you're seeing her" she stood up from the couch

"Maya I like Riley a lot but with you-" she cut me off

"Oh no-no-no! Don't! Don't!" She said a little too loud "You're getting me all confused"

"I like you too Maya a lot" I admitted

"It's wrong you're dating Riley we can keep doing this to her" I nodded in agreement

"What if I wasn't dating Riley" Maya's mouth opened slightly she looked like she was at a loss for words but she soon composed herself

"I can't be the reason you two break up she loves you Lucas" I felt terrible for Riley I thought I loved her but now feeling everything I feel every time I'm with Maya, I'm starting to think maybe I don't love Riley

"What do you want Maya forget about everyone else it's just me and you what do you want" She thought about it I could tell she was thinking by the expression on her face

"I don't know what I want" she said quieter

"I know what I want" I stood up and took her face in my hands kissing her again she kissed back,we forgot all about Farkle in the other room it just felt like we were the only two people

Maya mumbled as we kissed "Lucas" she said in between kisses

She stopped us kissing again "We have to stop"

"I can't control myself around you" She admitted quietly

Maya took a step back "You should leave" I sighed knowing she was right

"I'm sorry" I said grabbing my coat "If you want to pretend like nothing happened, I can try"

"I-I think we have too" I forced a smile and opened the door

Just as I was about to leave when Hope came running out of her room "Mommy come play" she said at Maya

That's when it hit me "Mom?" I asked turning away from the door, Maya had her hand placed on her lips

"Did, did she just say Mom?" I shut the door and walked back over to Maya and Hope

"Mommy please you promised dolly's" Hope said tapping Maya's leg with her hand

"Hope how old are you?" I asked

"This many" she said holding up two fingers on one hand and one finger up on her other hand

Maya looked down at Hope "Okay Hope I'll be right in" she smiled and ran back to the room with Farkle

I didn't know how to react "Maya" she turned to face me tears in her eyes

"Please leave" is all she said

"She's my kid?" I asked

"Hope is my daughter" She said not answering my question but I already knew the answer

"Is this why you wanted me out of her life because I'm her father?" It was still hard to say I was a dad, I had a kid, a little girl