Our little secret

Chapter 20

Lucas PoV

Maya quickly rushed out of the house "Why did you have to say that Zay!" I ran my hand through my hair stressing

"Sorry it just slipped out" he said quickly

"What am I going to do?" I asked the room for suggestions

Everyone was completely silent "I'm actually asking" I said looking around the room

"I'm going to go and speak to Maya" Josh said standing up and taking hold of Hopes hand

"What's wrong with mommy?" She asked Josh

"She just wanted to stand outside" he said with a smile

They walked outside and shut the door "Well this is uncomfortable" Cory said I forgot he was here for a moment

"Sorry Mr Matthews about everything with Riley" I said feeling even worse now

"It's okay Lucas you can't control how you feel I just wish you figured it out earlier" Him and Topanaga stood up and said goodbye to everyone

Maya PoV

Josh and Hope came to sit outside with me "How are you holding up?"

"Truthfully? I'm extremely stressed I don't know how to feel of course I love Lucas I have for years but nothing can happen things are already terrible with Riley and this will definitely make things worse" I sighed and Josh sat next to me

"Mommy whats love?" Hope asked as I placed her on my lap, great now Hope was asking me deep questions this wasn't supposed to happen until she was at least 15 maybe

"Well love is what two people share when they have very strong feelings for each other and it means they want to be romantic and hold hand, hugs, be close to each other, and kiss" Hope made a disgusted face and stuck out her tongue I slightly laughed "but love can also be between family and friends and you don't love them in a romantic way"

"You'll fall in love someday and when you do it will be magical" I smiled

"Like you and Lucas?" She asked another hard to answer question

"Well that's more complicated since Auntie Riley loves Lucas but he loves mommy" I said trying to explain the situation and simplify it, I doubt she would even properly understand what I was on about

"And who do you love mommy?" I turned to face Josh and then back to Hope

"Well mommy is confused about her feelings" Just as I said this the door opened luckily it was only Cory and Topanaga

"I'm so sorry for tonight" I said putting Hope on the ground and standing up

"It's okay Maya" Topanaga said hugging me

"You're like a daughter to us and we just want you to be happy, but obviously we want Riley to be happy as well" Cory said

"I understand that I just want Riley to be happy as well that's why nothing is going to happen with Lucas and me" I said honestly, if anything tonight has shown me just how stressful and complicated a relationship with Lucas would be

It's like I wouldn't just be dating Lucas it would be like I'm in a relationship with all our friends since they all get so into our relationship and all have very open opinions

"Merry Christmas Maya" they both said to me before they left

"Do you think you're ready to go back inside?" Josh asked standing up

"I think I'll wait out here for a little longer but you and Hope can go inside I'll be okay" I said smiling up at him, Josh was always here for me and he was a great friend, but he wasn't Riley nobody was like Riley and I don't think I will find anyone like Riley ever again

Josh and Hope went back inside, I sat back down closing my eyes and leaning my head against the wall just thinking

I heard somebody and I assumed they sat next to me so I opened my eyes "Lucas"

"Hey" he forced a little smile "Can we talk?"

"What else is there to talk about nothing can happen between us, Riley hates me, and I feel like crap" I said moving my head off the wall and sitting up straighter

"We have to talk about how we feel Maya we are going to see each other a lot more often since we have Hope now" he was right I know he was but I really didn't want to talk about it "Okay"

"Wait really okay? I had a whole speech planned" he slightly laughed and I smiled a little

"As fun as that would be, let's not hear it" I joked back trying to lighten the mood

"See, we are great together Maya at both, as friends and at the couple stuff too" He moved a little closer to me

I stood up "No Lucas"

Lucas stood up as well "Well I love you Maya Hunter and there is nothing you can do about it" he remembered that I changed my last name to Hunter once Shawn adopted me, he really does pay attention

"You can't love me!" I said trying to push this away he can't love me it just makes everything more complicated

"You loved me first!" Lucas raised his voice more

"I-um-no- I-I didn't" I quickly said "I don't!"

How does he know? It's obvious to everyone else but I didn't think it was that obvious to him.

"Stop lying Maya" Lucas took a step closer

"I am not lying" I took a step backwards

"No? So you're telling me you feel nothing towards me" Lucas asked, I couldn't step back anymore I was up against the wall and we were still stood close

"I don't feel anything for you ... can you step away" I asked not looking him in the eyes and looking down at my hands

"So you're saying I'm the only one who feels something and I'm just ... a what, a friend to you? Or am I even less than that?" Lucas said ignoring my request for him to moved a step backwards, we weren't extremely close there was still space between us but I just felt nervous being close to him

"Ummm I" I just mumbled not knowing what to say, what could I say to that ?

I looked up at him and Lucas moved his arm and placed his hand on the wall just a bit higher than my head and he leaned in closer placing his other hand lowdown on my hip pulling me closer to him, and making my heart beat faster

"Lucas what ar- are you doing?" I said feeling my heart pound in my chest, why did I have to feel like this around him

"You still feel nothing?" I just nodded, yeah right like he would believe that I'm here getting flustered and my heart is racing from being stood close to him I doubt he's going to believe me when I tell he I don't have feeling for him