Our little secret

Chapter 13

Maya PoV
December 23

It's been a few days I've tried talking to Riley but she's been ignoring my texts and calls I don't blame her though I hurt her and it's my fault that Lucas and I got together all those years ago and now we have a daughter together it must be hard on her, maybe if we told her when it happened things would be different

Lucas had been round a lot mostly everyday which Hope loves she's definitely got attached to him and she always expects him to be around

I finally got my own place and we moved out of my parents it's just something small so we can have our own space

It's almost Christmas and I was definitely not in the Christmas spirit I wasn't excited at all

Lucas was round ours again today we were all sitting in Hopes room "Hey could you watch Hope for a few hours I really need to speak to Riley" I asked Lucas

"Yeah of course" he agreed with a smile, I stood up "Hope" I said softly and she stopped playing

"I'm going to Auntie Riley's for a little is it okay if Lucas looks after you when I go"  she jumped up from the floor a big smile on her face "Yay I love Lucas being here" she wrapped her arms around Lucas and hugged him

"What about my hug?" I joked she then turned around to me and held out her arms for a hug, I picked her up and gave her a big hug and a kiss "Bye Mommy love you" she said when I placed her down

"Bye I love you" I smiled at Hope and then turned to Lucas and slightly smiled at him before turning and walking towards the door

It was hard seeing him everyday I liked him so much it hurts how much but he's Hopes father and Riley's ex boyfriend and that's all he will ever be to me

I opened the door and was about to walk out when I felt someone grab my wrist I turned around "Yeah?" I asked to Lucas

"When can we tell her" he asked referring to telling Hope he's her dad

"Not yet just give me some time I want to sort this thing with Riley out first, you're always going to be her dad nothing will change that so give me some time ... please" I said speaking quietly so Hope didn't overhear us

"How long do you need Maya, you said you haven't told her so you didn't confuse her but she wants me to be her dad you heard her yourself" He said probably getting a bit annoyed with the whole situation

"Give me some time" I repeated moving my hand out of his grip and walking out of the house

I soon got to Riley's house, I knocked on the door and waited for an answer when Auggie opened the door, he was 15 now and he still looked the same just taller

"Hi Augs is Riley here?" I asked with a smile

"Riley told me not to let you in" he said going to shut the door but I pushed against the door

"Please Auggie you know me, I just want to speak to her" I pleaded hoping he would let me in

He sighed and moved out of the way of the door letting me in "She's in her room" I smiled at him and walked into Riley's bedroom

"Hi" I softly said as I walked fully into her room she sat up more in her bed and just glared at me

I shut her door and went over to her bed but I didn't sit down I didn't want to push my luck with her "I know that you don't want me here" I started speaking

"but I just hope you'll let me explain and then you can go straight back to hating me" I tried to give a smile but I was unsuccessful I was too worried and upset about loosing her as my best friend

Riley just nodded at me, at least she's not kicking me out of her house that's a good sign, kind of

"I was a terrible friend to you and there are no excuses for what I did but it did happen and I can't say how sorry I am you don't deserve that Riles so I understand if you hate me" I moved and sat at the end of her bed

"I don't hate you but I don't know how I can even start to forgive you or trust you" She said with tears in her eyes and I hated to see her like this and to know that I was the one who was causing her all this pain "I don't know what else you're keeping from me, we always told each other everything"

"I'll be completely honest about everything I won't lie to you again ever!" I said honestly but this meant I would have to tell her about a few weeks ago when I first came back and Lucas and I kissed

"Then be honest, I do want to be able to trust you again" she said looking me in the eyes making me feel more nervous and uncomfortable

"Okay" I took a deep breath "That wasn't the only time something has happened between me and Lucas" I anxiously paused talking I didn't want to continue but she wouldn't start to trust me again until I was honest

"There was also when I came back to New York a few weeks ago" I waited for her to answer or scream or do something

"Did you sleep together?" She asked about a few weeks ago and she seemed calm but maybe she was just trying not to scream in my face

"No! We just kissed" I said quickly

"That's worse!" She said getting more annoyed

"How is that worse" I said back trying to keep my voice calm

"I don't know! But it's the same!" She stood up from the bed

"I'm so sorry! But there's nothing I can do I think I'm in love with him" I said standing up as well

"Who cares? You went behind my back! I would never do that to you" I could tell she was trying to stay calm and not get angry and upset and she was right Riley would never go behind my back and do what I did

"Okay you're right I have no excuses! I was completely over the line" I was trying not to get worked up myself

"Over the line?! You- you're so far past the line that you can't even see the line!" She walked over to her bedroom door

"I feel terrible you have to believe me"  she just opened her door "Get out!" She said calmly but I could hear the anger in her voice