Be More Chill (And A Few Dear Evan Hansen) One Shots!

Love Notes and Panic Attacks- BoyfRiends

T.W: Intruisive/ negative thoughts, panic attack kind of. Let me know if I miss anything!!

BoyfRiends

*Jeremy's P.O.V.*

I am so done with today. I woke up already knowing it was going to be rough (KiNkY). See, somedays I get, what I call, Squip Spells. They're basically all the thoughts and ideas put in my head by the squip, repeated and brought back over and over. Mountain Dew Red helps, and it usually wears off after a day, but it still makes me feel like shit.

Thank god there's only one period left, but at this point, I feel like I'm going to collapse from exhaustion.

"Hey Jer!"

And I'm awake again... barely.

"Hey Micah..." I mumble, slamming my locker closed and turning around.

Michael and I have the same last period, so he always meets me by my locker and we walk to class together. We also sit by eachother, so maybe I can get away with falling asleep on his shoulder. My stomach churns at the thought. Ah, yes, hello my stupid, uncontrollable feelings.

After figuring out I'm bisexual, I couldn't help but get an obsessive crush on the guy. Now, I know what you're thinking, what happened to Christine? Well, I kinda just got this friend vibe from her, and right when I was about to break it off, she told me she needed a break from our relationship to figure out her identity. (She thinks she's asexual, and we're closer than ever now) but, back to Michael.

I mean, look at him. He's adorable, sweet, hilarious- oh my god I'm zoning aren't I?

"Woah! Jeremy, you look like ass! What's wrong?"

I shake my head, and smirk at Michael's concern.

"I'm fine, just an off day," I start walking down the hall with him.

"Squip Spells?" he questions.

I force a small nod, and he gives me a sympathetic smile. Michael might be the only one who knows about it, but I'm honest to god glad he does. He gives me everything I need, knowing exactly when I need it. We get to the classroom, and sit down at our desks, towards the back of the clasroom. Michael leans closer to me.

"Video games, MDR, and getting stoned at my place?" he whispers.

I chuckle.

"Sure Michael. That sounds really nice."

He leans back, and flashes me a smile.

"You don't deserve him."

Great! Squip thoughts about Michael are coming back now! Just kill me now. Its true, I don't deserve him. But then again, does anyone deserve Michael Mell as a best friend? I don't think so.

"He'll never love you back."

My eyes widen. There's a new one, and I already know that one's true. I mean, yeah he's gay, but he would never feel the same way about me. I'm just a loser. A geek. A whatever. And he's Michael. The Michael. The awesome pro-gamer Michael. I'm just a nobody.

I snap out of my thoughts, and pay attention to the teacher.

That honestly doesn't last long. Who even pays attention to the teacher anyways? I open up my binder, and write a love letter to Michael, addressing it to 'Red.' What? I'll tear it up and flush it when I'm done anyways.

*Le time skip*

Its time to pack up since the bell is moments away from ringing, but then I notice Michael peering over my shoulder. What is he even looking at? I follow his gaze to... shit! The note! I fold it up and shove it in my pocket, glancing back over at Michael.