Alive? | Stray Kids | ✓

Chapter 18

It was now morning when Seungmin woke up on his bed. A soft warm blue blanket was covering his body. Looking around, he was confused. Last night, he had specifically remembered that he hadn't even picked up his blanket. He had just went straight to sleep, so somebody must've came in and put a blanket on him.

This made him worried. What if they saw his cuts?

Seungmin threw his blanket across his bed, and got up. He rubbed my eyes, stretching, and got into an oversized gray sweater, and sweatpants. Seungmin decided to head downstairs, Hyunjin greeted the younger boy.
While the younger greeted him back, he grabbed a water bottle and sat down. Seungmin was still tired and wanted to go back to sleep.

"Seungmin"

He turned around. It was Han.

"Yes?"

"We have a free schedule today." Han told the other.

"Oh ok."

"And.." He hestitated.

The other waited him to finish his sentence but instead, Han said

"Never mind."

Han walked away and went back to his room. Seungmin was bored and decided to also go back to his room and take out laptop. As he was scrolling through his list of weird yourube recommendations, he saw a video of the concert. It was recorded by one of his fans.

Since he was bored, he clicked on it and watched it.

Everything was fine, except..

Jeongin wasn't there.

Seungmin sat there, watching himself, stare at the empty space on the stage. he watched his fans looked at him. He watched himself act like a fool. looking at where the  non existent boy was, he starts to think.

Where is he?

Why isn't he there?

Was i just imagining things?

Jeongin wasn't actually there?

He was there! Right? Jeongin has to be there.

Jeongin was never there?

Why did i see him?

Seungmin sighed out loud. He fell onto his bed with his back facing down.  The sentence,

"Am i going insane?"  

Was all he could think now.

He must be going insane now. He kept on seeing Jeongin everywhere, but he would never catch the younger. He was never there at the concert. Seungmin was just hallucinating. He was just imagining him. Thinking about this made Seungmin truly think he was insane.

Seungmin groaned loudly. He wanted to talk about it with someone. Luckily, there was someone to talk with.

Jisung heard Seungmin groan and went to check up on him.

"Seungmin?"

Seungmin looked up. "Han! Yes?"

"Well, i heard you groan. Are you ok?" Han asked.

"Um..." Seungmin hesitated.

If he tells Jisung about it then he would think he wasn't normal. He would avoid him. Seungmin didn't want that to happen, but he would be willing to take the risk.

"I think i'm going insane." Seungmin admitted.

"What makes you think that?" Jisung walked in and sat next to the other.

"I keep on thinking about Jeongin." Seungmin started.

"I am too.."

"No, i mean.." Seungmin tried to find the words to explain this to Jisung.  "I think i've been.."

Jisung waited for for the other to finish his sentence.

"You see, I think...   I've been hallucinating."
Seungmin finally told him.

"What do you mean?" Jisung questioned.

"Ever since Jeongin died, and when we met and that cafe, I keep on seeing Jeongin around."  Seungmin tried to explain. Jisung was listening.

"Han. I have also been having nightmares about Jeongin." Seungmin said.

"Can you tell me?" Han said quietly.

"I went down to the kitchen to get food."

Han nodded.

"And then i hear Jeongin something like saying, 'Come on Hyung!' Then we go outside and have fun. We were at that bridge that Jeongin jumped off of."

Seungmin started to slightly tear up.

" Suddenly he was behind me and.."

Seungmin knew couldn't tell him about "the voice" If he did then Han would know.

"He turned bad and tried to push me off. And i almost stopped him but i fell anyways."  Seungmin didn't feel a tear roll down his cheek.

"He tried to drown me but i got out and ran away but he found me and was about to kill me. Then you guys came." Seungmin was now crying.

Han hugged the boy and wiped his tears.

"It's ok Seungmin." He whispered

They continued to hug each other, until seungmin fell asleep.

"I always be there for you." Han whispered before he got up.

Han sighed. "Oh seungmin. Why are you doing this to yourself?"