Alive? | Stray Kids | ✓

Chapter 20

Once we arrived, we immediately got ready. Everyone got their hair fixed, makeup done, and changed. the manager yelled, getting everyone in their place. We were going to be starting on top of a roof with those merry go rounds you see at a play ground. I was supposed to stand on it while one of the other members spun it. It was originally going to be Jeongin, but since he wasnt here anymore... a different member had to do it. The staff had decided that Felix would do it. I stood on it, while it was spinning, and pretended to be happy and pretended to have fun. The next scene was with Chan, having fun. After we finished that, the staff decided that i would be singing most of Jeongin's part, while Minho would take over the rest, so i would be in a lot of the scenes. Just thinking about me replacing Jeongin made me sad. I didn't want to do this anymore but i had to. I had to keep pretending that i was happy.

The shooting took a really long time, and i just wanted to sleep. I nearly fell asleep once we were finished. I ran back to the car, and waited for the others. Once we got home, I took out my phone and watched YouTube. A few hours later, i got bored of being inside so i was going to go outside.

"Don't stay out too long Seungmin." Woojin said.

"I wont."

I smelled the fresh cold breeze that was blowing into my face and started to walk. It had been a pretty long time since I've seen Jimin. I walked towards their dorms. They were taking a break from their world tours. I knocked on the door, and the door was immediately opened.

"Seungmin!"

I was immediately attacked by hugs. I hugged them back and closed the door.

"Hey." I said.

"So, whats up?" Taehyung asked.

"I just wanted to visit you and see how you were doing."

"We're doing ok." Taehyung paused. "Well, most of us."

"Yea. Jimin still hasn't gotten over Jeongins death." Jin told me.

"Oh.." I sadly said. I also hadn't gotten over his death too so i could relate.

"But hes getting better! He's been happier these past few weeks!" Taehyung said happily.

"I don't know..." Yoongi started. "what if he's faking his happiness? I did that when i was younger."

The room became silent.

"Uhm. Lets try to think positively." Namjoon said.

"Where is Jimin right now?" I asked.

"He's out shopping for groceries with Jungkook." Taehyung told me.

"That reminds me, I should make dinner right now."  Jin realized. 

I excused myself to go to the bathroom. After i finished my buisness in there, i walked to Jimin's room. I stared at all the pictures of him and Jeongin on his desk. I sighed when i saw it. He missed Jeongin as much as me. I noticed that was one of his cabinet drawers was slightly open, so i went to close it but before i did, something shiny inside caught my eye.

Yes, I know it isn't right to go through someone's stuff when they aren't here, but i was worried. I opened it wider, and saw multiple blades. My eyes widened. Jimin. Park Jimin was cutting himself? He didnt deserve it. He can't cut. He just can't. Without thinking, i grabbed all the blades and shoved them in my pocket. I wanted to know if he actually did start to cut, or he was like me. He was hesitating and scared, but really wanted to do it. I walked out of the room, when i heard voices.

"You're back!" Taehyung yelled.

Jimin stared me into the eyes. I could tell. He was suffering like me. I wondered if he could see that in me too. I felt uncomfortable, now knowing what Jimin was probably doing to himself. I kept avoiding his eyes, which might've made him suspicious, but if he was suspicious of me, he didn't let that show. He placed down the grocery bags and went into his room, to change into different clothes. Then he walked towards the living room. He sat down, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Hey Seungmin." He finally said.

"Yes?" I nervously asked.

"Did you go into my room?" He stared at me straight into the eyes. No one else was around.

"N- No." I stuttered.

I cursed at myself mentally for stuttering, and said it again, with out stuttering.

"No."

"Seungmin. I know you're lying. Did you take anything?"

"No." I said more confidently, so he wouldn't know that i was lying.

"Really?" He said. "Then why is my cabinet drawer a little bit open? And why is my stuff inside, kind of messed up?"