Alive? | Stray Kids | ✓

Chapter 30

My sight was blurry so I couldn't really process anything I was seeing, but I knew for a fact that it was Han. I recognized his voice. A small part of me was glad he stopped me, but the rest wished he never came. I started sobbing again. I felt cold hands grab my arms. I looked up with my eyes full of tears. I stared at Han. He was starting to cry.

"Seungmin... Why?" He asked

"I-" I tried to speak. I looked down. My blood was still running. His hands were filled with blood. He held my hand, and carefully place the knife down, away from me. Han returned with shaking hands.

"Why? You told me you would..."

"Hey Han?" I heard someone say. The door opened and I immediately snapped my head to the voice. It was Changbin. A loud gasp. It was Hyunjin behind him.

I felt like crying again.

Hyunjin's gasp attracted the attention of the other members. More and more people came piling into my room. I scanned the room. Woojin and Chan weren't here yet. I was afraid of what they would say.

"Seungmin." Felix quietly said while sobbing.

I felt them come closer but then,

"What's happening?" Chan's voice called out.

My heart started to beat faster. I remembered how he yelled at Hyunjin for not eating. It was terrifying. The voice in my head wasn't helping. I knew the voice would just make it worse.

The members all moved a little, to give space for Chan to see. At first, he stared in shock. He stared at me, and I stared back. I could see anger grow in his eyes. I gulped, as my heartbeat increased.

"Seungmin. Why would you do this?" he said in a low stern voice.

I tried to speak, but my voice wouldn't work.

"What is wrong with you?"

That one sentence made my heart hurt. I knew he was mad at me.

"I thought you wouldn't do it because it would've reminded you of Jeongin."

The thought of Jeongin made me want to cry.

"I thought you would've learned after that incident with Hyunjin"

The voices in my head definitely made it worse. they repeated what Chan said but in a harsher way.

Why didn't you learn from that?!

"Even after all that, you still turned to this?" Chan said angrily.

Are you really that stupid to turn to this?

The room was eerily silent.

"What the hell is wrong with you." Chan whispered harshly.

My heart shattered. Woojin pulled Chan back to have a talk with him. Tears were falling out like a waterfall. The other members came over to try to comfort me but I pushed them away. I managed to gather all the strength I had and stand up. I glanced at Chan. He was staring at me. Everything he just said just flooded into my mind, except harsher. I didn't want to be here anymore. I had to get away from everyone. I slowly walked over to the door, knowing that everyone was watching me.

"Seung-"

I was at the door already. Energy rushed through my legs and suddenly I was running. I forgot that my arms were still bleeding. I was losing a lot of blood. I heard everyone calling my name, pleading for me to come back, but I ran. I ran faster than I've ever run. Until I couldn't see them anymore, my energy was draining. I stumbled around. It was quiet outside. My head was pounding. I fell onto the ground, holding onto my head. Everything hurt so badly. I was breathing heavily until my vision grew dark.

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im sorry. - ???
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Eep. I hope everyone's safe right now.