Alive? | Stray Kids | ✓

Chapter 16

??? POV

I paced across the room, as Seungmin sat down at the table. I walked to his room, to get a warmer jacket for him.I was about to walk out until i noticed something. A shiny blade in the trash can. I gasped, and picked it up from the clean side. The other side was dirty and covered in dried blood.

"He can't be.." I whispered to myself.

I grabbed it and picked it up, examining it.

"No.." My eyes watered, but i wiped them away.I put it in my pocket, grabbed the jacket and ran out of the room.

Seungmin was still talking to the others, so i placed his jacket on the empty chair next to him. As the others talked, i thought about what might be happening to Seungmin. I listened to the conversations he and the hyungs were having. I didn't believe a single word he said. I knew him well enough to know when he was lying. I glanced around the room. Everyone seemed to be just happy and relieved that he was back and he was safe. Well except one person besides me. When Seungmin got up, i was about to stop him, but the other members seemed to be fine with it, so i stayed in my seat. I watched him walk into his room. I felt sad. Why was this happening again? Why couldn't we just all mourn together for Jeongin's death instead of drifting apart? Why must this repeat all over again?

Days have passed and nothing interested has really happened. Everything went normally like before. it was like nothing even happened. I sat in the studio. I couldn't get my mind off Seungmin. I was starting to feel concerned and worried for him. Finding the blade, brought painful memories of Jeongin.

"I should confront him." I thought out loud.

"What?" Chan asked me.

"Uhh nothing." I told him. We were waiting for the remaining members to come back. I sat down, and waited. When they finally came,  we started to practice.

Time skip

I sat in the chair as the staff came over and did my hair and make up. I had already had my clothes on. I glanced over and saw Seungmin on the edge of the stage. I noticed that he looked extremely nervous and anxious than before. I ignore it since I was feeling the same. It had been such a long time since we actually had a concert. When I was done with the makeup, I was about to talk to seungmin, but our manager said we had 5 minutes until we had to go out onto the stage. I had to go get all the members and get them ready. I couldn't talk to Seungmin, since we had to go now. I ran out and onto the stage in front of all our excited fans.

We performed our first song of the day, which was Double Knot. After that song, i was already sweating. I glanced over at everyone, who were also sweating as we moved onto our next song. I was so focused into the song, that i didnt notice anythung going around me. When we were done with a couple more songs, we stopped dancing and just walked around singing or rapping. This gave me time to breathe and think. I looked though the crowd and saw signs saying happy brithday. I glanced over and saw Minho smiling as Woojin sang. I smiled too. Then my smile faltered when i saw seungmin. Wait. Is he sad? He was looking at his feet, waiting for his part to come. I wanted to go check up on him, but my part came, so i couldn't do it. After a couple songs of just singing and rapping, we went back to dancing too. It was easy but i could see that Seungmin wasn't doing so good. He was struggling to keep up with our fast choreography.After a while, he seemed to be ok. What he was doing the next song, had me worried. He just kept on staring and glancing at the empty spot on the stage. I tried to signal him, but he didn't see me.

We moved on to another song, with a slower pace. Seungmin seemed to be ok so i turned my attention back to the fans. As the music got quicker, we danced quicker. I was happy until i heard a noise. I glanced over and saw that Seungmin had fell. He quickly got up, and his face was red. He was smiling, and laughing, but i could see through his fake smile.

At the end of the concert, we went to saw good bye to our fans. We lined up, and held hands. I looked at everyone. Everyone was really tired. We bowed and i saw seungmin reach for someone else's hand. The hand that was supposed to be there. Jeongins hand.

He quickly put his hand down, when he remembered that Jeongin was gone now. I felt like crying but i couldn't. The concert was over and we sat down to relax. We got changed out of our clothes and into more comfortable clothing. We went home and i went straight to sleep. The next day was really normal. We all went to lunch, shopping and then we went back home.

A while later, i went to check up on seungmin. He was turning and shaking in his bed. I was surprised at the sight. Usually he would be sleeping still and peacefully. I ran to him, and noticed him sweating a lot. I also noticed dry tear stains o his pillow. I knew i had to help.

"SEUNGMIN."

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Why are so many people leaving their groups?! This is such a sad year.