Alive? | Stray Kids | ✓

Chapter 12

Seungmin POV

I sat back down on the ground, several meters away from the ocean. I thought about Jeongin. I couldn't tell if i was actually seeing him or not. Every time i see him, he would always disappear. I needed to know. I needed to know if he was alive or not. Why hasn't his body been found? Had people given up? Or does that mean, he was never dead? 

I got up and wandered around again, not caring where i would end up. It was getting a bit dark, and there were less and less people as I walked around. I heard quiet chattering but i ignored it. I didn't think that the chattering was about me.

Sadly, i ended up at the bridge. Again.

I was tired from walking so, i decided to sit down, at the edge of the bridge. I stared off into the distance and admired the sunset. It looked beautiful. It was dark blue at the top of the sky, then turning a lighter shade of blue. In the middle, it started to turn purple and pink. And right where the sun was at, it had a pretty color of orange and yellow. I stared at it until it was gone. I took out my phone and saw that i had nearly over 100 texts and calls.

Shit.

The others are going to be so mad at me.

Of course they will. Their anger will be pointed at you.

Oh god..

The voice was back.

Please go away.

But i'm your only company. The only one who will talk to you, since no one else wants to.

That's not true.

I got up and ran back to the dorms, trying my best to ignore the voice. I regretted that. It just got louder and louder, saying meaner stuff every second.

It wouldn't stop, and my head started to hurt really badly. I stopped running to calm down. I crouched down, near the cafe, with my head in my arms.

You're ugly. Why would they want you back. Just die. You'll be happier if you die. Die right now. Everyone will celebrate your death, so just die, if you want to stop suffering.

SHUT UP!

Seungmin couldn't take it anymore. The voice was being so annoying. How did Jeongin go through this?

Because he was so much stronger than you.

...

He had to cut to get me to go away.

Cutting?

Yes. And if you want to get rid of me for a while, you have to cut.

I looked around and saw broken pieces of glass on the ground, nearby. I wanted to get rid of the voice, but i didn't want to do it in public. I looked around. It was dark enough. Right?

Yes it is.

I carefully moved over to it, not looking noticeable. The glass was right next to me. I was about to grab it until someone called my name.

"Seungmin?"

I instantly stood up once i heard that.

I looked around and saw Hyunjin. And behind him, Changbin.

They didn't see me reach for the glass. Right?

Why would they see it. Even if they did, they wouldn't care.

"Hi." I replied.

"We were so worried!! Let's go back to the dorms!" Changbin said.

He grabbed my arm, leading to the dorms, while Hyunjin called the others. I still had a very loud and annoying voice in my head. I had an itching feeling in my hands, that really wanted to grab something sharp and cut.

When we got back to the dorms, the moment i got inside, I heard running, and turned around, to see Han and Felix running fast towards me. I was a bit shocked to see what was happening. I slowly backed away, but stopped when they wrapped their arms around me, pulling me into a hug. We went inside and they pulled me to the kitchen making me sit down and eat. A few minutes later, the door came bursting open, showing, two sweaty males, panting.

I watched as their eyes scanned the room, until they landed onto me. Both of them immediately rushed to me. They  were extremely tired, but didn't care. Chan and Woojin were just happy that I was back. I was very confused on why they weren't scolding me. They hugged me tightly, and let me relax for a few minutes. I took very small bites of my food, feeling uncomfortable that everyone was staring at me.

"Seungmin eat more." Chan stared straight into my eyes, as he said that. I glanced up at him, making eye contact with him. I quickly looked back down at my food, taking bigger bites. After i finished, i sat there quietly, staring at my feet, as Woojin took the plate and put it in the sink. I could feel every single pair of eyes staring at me, when Woojin came back.

"So."

I looked up, to see a few worried faces, while others were curious for answers.

"Where were you?"