Phosphenes [Larry Stylinson Fan Fiction] EDITING

Chapter Twenty Six: Erlebnisse

Erlebnisse (n.) The experiences, positive and negative that we feel most deeply and through which we truly live; Not mere experiences but experiences.

(Charlie's POV)

Harry and me spent the weekend just going out at the park, we strolled around and just talked for a while to get to know each other even better, even the smallest things.

"Favorite color?" I asked

"Orange. And yours is Blue" He made me smile. He knows everything about me and I hate how I don't about him.

"Birthday?"

"Birthday? You also forgot about that?" He paused and stopped walking.

"Well, I remember when it was your sixteenth birthday, Dad sent out a party for you and invited all these fancy people with fancy clothes to your party and introduced you to them as a 'man' and could someday take his position, you bailed out with Lexi and left me alone with all those fancy people. Also you were wearing a tux and looked like a waiter." I laughed at the vision "Also in your tenth birthday mum made a cake at home and I always blew the candles before you, you got irritated"

He smiled at me "Its February One and yours is at the twenty fifth of August" We continued on walking.

I furrowed my eyebrows a bit, my birthday is on August twenty five?

"Don't tell me you forgot your own birthday" He looked at me.

"Well, yeah. I don't know. My birthday doesn't really mean that much to me compared to other people's. Its like my brain doesn't really want to remember things that could be disregarded" True, my mind only forces things that are really important and needed to be remembered but not as a whole thing but some kind of familiarity.

"Really? Well, your birthday was special to me, it was the day you were brought to the house and mum and dad introduced me to you as my little sister, since then I was so over protective of you, don't you think?" He paused and looked at me, smiling.

"No, actually it doesn't really show that much" I said sarcasticaly.

"Well, yeah I was pretty good at hiding it" He chuckled. "Then you know, I'd always be jealous when they take you away from me, other kids would be jealous of the parent's attention but I wanted yours. Did you know that your first word was my name?"

I smiled at the thought that my first word was 'Harry' I cooed inside. "I don't think anyone could remember their first words, Harry"

"Yeah." He stopped walking and faced me. "Tell me, what was your first memory of me?"

"Hmm.. I don't know" I continued walking, he followed. "But to be honest, I had earlier memories from you but it didn't feel like it, it felt like images in my head that didn't happen. The first memory that I remembered was you at the hospital. I didn't know you cause of the memories that was stolen away from me or the time that was stolen from us but it was the recognition of my 'soul' from yours, it felt like I knew you before and I trusted you so easily" I said with no better words to describe.

I looked at him and saw a smile on his face that had it showing his teeth and dimples that I loved.

I added "And Lexi, she was genuinely comfortable with me so I was too. Unlike you, you were dainty with me" I giggled.

"I was trying to be careful!" His smile widened.

"Yeah, by making me remember my pet animals" I rolled my eyes.

"I had to start somewhere" He stated.

"Why didn't you start of with yourself? Have you ever imagined me not knowing anything but a stranger sitting next to me talking about how I had dead animals" I furrowed my brows.

"Well. That time, I felt like you didn't need to know me cause I felt like you already do. Like I was someone special that you didn't forget. But you did" He said looking down.

"Harry" I stopped walking and faced him. I hugged him and felt his heartbeat and breathing, he hugged me back. "You are special to me. Thats why I recognized you. and I trusted you so easily and I still do" I looked up at him and saw a grin on his face.

"Yeah, your 'soul' recognized you" He laughed at my term.

"Thats what it felt!" I hugged his arm and continued on walking.

He leaned towards my head and kissed it. "Take care of that head of yours"

The park wasn't crowded and the autumn breeze was making it cool. The sun rays went through the partly cloudy sky and through the falling leaves of the trees to the grass. The ambiance made me happy inside. It was almost perfect.

"Tell me, was I like before?" I asked.

"Yes, very. Almost nothing changed about you.. but you're more sweet and expressive now which I love. You're less grumpy but still grumpy in the morning, a bit shy and soft but its all an improvement" He said.

"Wasn't I sweet to you before?"

"You were a pain in the ass that knew how to manipulate me and thats by being adorable. But you're sweet now just to make me feel good, you made me more weaker for you now. So don't ever play me with being cute, okay?" He smiled.

"Okay" I agreed.

---

(Harry's POV)

We went home after some cones of ice creams and a game of frisbee in the park. Charlie was sitting lazily at the couch while I pulled a box of some of our home video tapes when we were kids.

"Whats that?" She asked as I place the box beside her. She picked one up "Do we have something that could play these? Do we even have a vcr these days?"

"Yeah, well its in there and I'm going to set it up.. once I get it all figured out"

She stumbled through the box and pulled out the heavy vcr "you'll never get this dinosaur figured out" She said as she removed the dust on it. "Does it even work?"

"I don't know, lets find out" She gave me the vcr and I fumbled through the wires of it and connected each one to their assigned plug.

"Give me a tape" I said. She handed me a tape.

It worked, low quality from the recorder but we clearly saw us. I sat beside her and we watched it together. There are many moments in my childhood that I missed so much but during my teen years, I was obliged to become a grown up fast cause of my parents' loss. But then I enjoyed every single moment when Charlie was around. I hope she remembers how much fun we had together. with or without our parents, I hope she sees that through our vcr tapes.

When mum and dad passed away, I knew they let go of a heavy load that I needed to carry. Me and Charlie were both devastated, especially her with her fear of open water, she was still under treatment that time with her anxiety and trauma, I was qualified for it too but I knew I had to be strong, strong for Charlie.

We both laughed at our videos. Its amazing how Mum was able to capture these moments I'll never forget that I spent with her. I hope she remembers each and every one of it, not as a figment of imagination but as a moment that she could relive through and enjoy.

I feel like we've come a long way from being kids to this, slowly if you count the days but fast when you think of it now. The things that matters to us most before looked like something small now and the challenges we faces.. Its incomparable from now.

God, I miss her.