Phosphenes [Larry Stylinson Fan Fiction] EDITING

Chapter Ten: Eleutheromania

Eleutheromania (n.) An intese and irresistible desire for freedom

(Harry's POV)

There it is.

I said it.

I said it to her.

I wonder what would she feel.

About me.

About Louis.

"what?" I can see the surprised look on her face, but she was kinda confused.

"Charlie, Im, bisexual, and Louis-"

she cut me. "is gay?"

There was awkward silence in the car. I didn't know how to say it, how to say it right, and I didn't tell Louis that I was going to tell her. I was so nervous that something might happen like what Cherlaine told us about telling her about memories. Charlie was biting her knuckles and she was looking down, a bit confused with what I said, I know that habbit, she was holding back something.

"stop" I grabbed her hand and caressed her knuckles with my thumb.
My other hand was cupping her cheeks.

"whats wrong? hmm?" She's trying to avoid my eyes, I gently position her face directly to mine. She was shutting herself down from me. I cannot read her anymore. What's wrong with her?

"nothing, everything's fine Harry. Its just a really big step for me to take" she grabbed my hand that was placed on her cheek, then she leaned to me and gave me a warm hug, I can tell she was uncomfortable because of the hand break that was invetween us.

"lets go inside so we can talk with Louis properly okay love?" I gave her a smile.

She nodded and we both went out the car, I stopped at the gate to wait for her, I gently pushed her back inside, as we where walking to the front door, my hands were rested on her shoulders. I can feel my heartbeat as it felt like it was just recently flown away from a cage. I was so oblivious to what was happeneing that I only thought about Louis and me.

"hey" we were greeted with a gloomy tune, Louis can sense there is something new to the atmosphere.

Charlie sat down at the couch and me and Louis sat down infront of her. It was like telling your child that she was adopted or something

"so, I told her" I gave Louis the look.

"told her what?" Louis gave me the face, maybe he thought that I told her about the memory.

"no, I told her about us" I held Louis' hands, there was a shock on his face and a slight relief. his eyes were filled with joy at that moment, we both looked at Charlie her confused eyes, she was doing the same thing that she was doing in the car, biting her knuckles, eyes traveling down.

(Charlie's POV)

It was really hard for me to let it sink in, my head hurts but I tried to hide the pain, it seems to working, maybe it was all because of the stress of the tests, and this, they really picked a great time on telling me this. But the thought of Harry and Louis? It seemed worse than the thought of Louis and Lexi. Something was wrong and my heart was telling me that. 

"I know this is a slight shock to you" Louis said as I raise my eyes up from the ground and saw the color of his irises, it was undefined, it had a shade of green, grey and blue, that I absolutely fell infatuated with. But theres something more to the color of his eyes that made me bewilder at its hue.

"no, no, I accept the fact that you guys are together, I mean, Lexi is bisexual too and she told me that she had girlfriends before and and and-"

"Charlie" Harry snapped me out.

"And its just that, why didn't you tell me before, why did you have to wait?  It seemed like a big deal to you that you're going to tell me." I avoided their eyes.

"its just that, this is a big deal for us because" Louis was looking for the right words, he looked at Harry, and there was something about them, when the look at each other.

"because you, you didn't know this before you were in coma" Harry continued Louis' sentence.

"oh" I tried to switch in a better mood. I tried to show acceptance because all that really matters is just for me to get some sleep, my head is pounding and it really hurts, sweat id dripping down my body.

"well then im very happy for you guys, really. As long Harry is Happy, I am too, so much" gave them a big smile.

"Really? Its okay for you?" they both looked at each other with happiness and suddenly became oblivious to my pain which they usually sense in a second.

"Yeah, Harry. Remember when I went to Washington to go to that field trip to their national museum and to join that protest to have gay marriage legal there?" I said as I happily remembered it like it happened just recently.

"Yeah, I do"

"See? I'm okay with you guys. I'm really happy you came out to me" I said standing up as they followed, I hugged them both. They sandwiched me in between them and felt Harry's kiss on my head.

"You don't know how happy I am, Charlie" Harry bent down a bit for his eyes to meet mine as he cupped my face. I never saw his eyes look greener than ever before. Shutting myself down was like covering myself with a mirror. I felt pain but Harry ws happy, so I was too. I conflicted my emotions which caused my head to hurt more. I could feel it beating out my skull, crushing it. But the smile held it all away.

I hugged Harry tightly as it felt safe to be inside his arms, his warmth comforted me and the presence of his body sent convinience all over me. I wanted to cry beneath his body and break down as it hurts so bad. I want him to say that it will be alright and the pain will subside.. but I can't have that now. I let go of his hug and suddenly, huge stream of pain tormented me that punctured the mask I was hiding from. I fell weak on my knees as Harry an Louis grabbed hold of me, I touched my head where it ached the most. I managed to hold a moan and a cry. I frowned with the discomfort it gave me.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked with his brows curled up.

"Yeah, its just that, the test.. I want to rest" I said as I returned back to Harry's soft embrace. And I gave up. Tears streamed down my face as I broke down in Harry's arms with Louis rubbing my back.

"I'm gonna fail, aren't I?'' My voice cracked. It wasn't much of a big deal to me if I did but I needed a cover to what I am feeling right now. I just want his comfort.

My breathing was uneven as I let out gasps to Harry's warm chest. 

"Oh, Charlie.. Please dont cry. It will all be alright" He kissed my head and conviniently caressed the area that sored.

"It hurts so much" I continioud to gasp repetitively. I cannot controll th pain as it was aggravating too much. "Make it s-stop.. make it stop" I mumbled.

"Come on, baby, lets get you some rest" He said and carried me like a little child with my head rsting on his shoulder and arms wrapped around his neck. He carried me to my room and let me sit down the bed. Louis followed and stayed by the door, looking at me, helpless as if he wished he could do something. 

I cried in front of Harry, kneeling on the floor, facing me. He held my hand and kissed it. I pursed my lips and tried to stop myself crying.

"Do you want to take your sleeping pills?" He asked, his eyes cautious of me. "Lou, get water" He turned to look at Louis who sprinted to do so and admire his eyes back to me.

"What can I do to make it better, Charlie?" He pleaded. 

"I'm sorry, you and Louis sh-should be happy right now but I ruined it" I continued on crying as another thunder of pain crashed to my head. I was gasping.

"Baby, if I could take away the pain, I would, Charlie" He rose up and sat beside me as I curl up inside his arms. He kissed my head again "If I could feel it for you, I would"

Louis came in with a glass of water. He took my pills from my bedside drawer "Can I take the pain reliever too?"I asked.

"Does it hurt?" He asked.

"A bit" I lied.

I swallowed three pills and drunk the water. He took the glass and set it aside.

"Lets tuck you into bed, yeah?"

I nodded "Yeah"

He helped me position myself to bed and stayed beside me. he comforted me until I stopped crying and constantly fell asleep.. then all at once.