Just Another Number

Visions

Aaaaaand we are back let's freaking go boys!

Y/N's POV:

I kneel behind a piece of cover as a storm of red fire flies towards me. For the past 5 months we've been fighting the enemy in the jungles. Seems we can't step 5 feet into the jungle without being shot at.

Glade: Damn Clankers.

Glade and I both pop up from our cover and start returning fire into the jungle.

Jaeger: Hold still I got you!

I look over and see Jaeger doing his best to keep a trooper alive but the poor bastards insides are all over the place.

Glade: Enemy armor heads up!

I dive to the ground as a loud boom crashes into the trees next to me shaking the ground.

Y/N: Fuck!

Glade: Frost I need you to hand me those explosives.

I look to my left and see a dead brother with grenades strapped to his hip. I grab the explosives and hand it to my higher up.

Glade: Popping frags!

Glade hurls the grenades over our cover effectively taking out the enemy armor.

Glade: Fall back!

And so we get up and fall back towards our base camp. That's how it's been for the last 5 months. We get overwhelmed and have to fall back. Sleep is minimal these days. Everyone's on edge. And every night I have dreams, dark dreams.

Glade: How many?

Casualty count time.

Y/N: 14. 6 wounded.

Glade: Damn. Any confirmed kills on the enemy side.

Y/N: Enemy casualties remain unknown sir.

Glade: Right. Alright go get some grub and try to get some shut eye. I mean it Frost.

I don't like sleeping anymore. It's now I realize how dark this world is and I've lost too many people to it.

Y/N: Yes sir.

I walk off to the cafeteria and find Jaeger sitting alone with a distant look in his eyes. If anyone has it worse than me it's Jaeger. Poor bastards held too many dying brothers and seen too much. The white of his armor is stained red from the blood and brown from the dirt and mud.

Y/N: Hey Jaeger.

Jaeger: Oh. Hey Frost.

I set my tray down as I sit across from him. Both of our eyes bloodshot and tired.

Jaeger: I tried Frost.

Y/N: I know Jaeger. That's all we can do these days is try.

I see Jaeger shake a little as he looks up at me.

Jaeger: I'm so sorry Frost I tried to save as many as I could.

He starts to shake violently now. I've got get him out of here. So I escort him out of the cafeteria and into my private quarters and sit him down. At this point tears threaten to flow from his eyes. He finally broke.

Jaeger: I try and try but no matter how hard I try they always die! Damnit!

I put my arm around him and he practically cries into my shoulder. I fight back the tears in my own eyes. I've got to be strong for my brother and my best friend.

Y/N: I know bud. I know.

After some time he finally gets his tears in check and stares into the eyes of his helmet.

Jaeger: Thank you Frost.

Y/N: No problem, now go get some rest.

Jaeger: Yeah will do.

He puts on his helmet and walk out of the room. I lay on my back and reach into my tactical hard case. Out from the hard case I pull out two dog tags. Jet and Tank. I wish they were here with us.

Y/N: Damn separatists.

My door opens again and this time the general stands at the door.

Y/N: General.

Valk: Captain.

She closes the door behind her and we drop all formalities as she hugs me and rests her head against my chest piece.

Y/N: Hard day for you too huh?

Valk: You have no idea Y/N.

And we lay together staring up at the ceiling. She looks at my eyes almost as if she was studying them.

Valk: When's the last time you slept?

Y/N: Uhh...about 2 days ago.

Valk: Can you please just get some rest right now. We need you at your best.

My best? My best has gotten men killed. Not numbers. Men. The rest of the galaxy sees us as expendable pawns but I don't. Every brother who falls before me was a man. And I lead them there. I lead so many men to their deaths. Why is it that I get to live? Why do I get to love?

Y/N: Yeah I'll try.

And so I close my eyes. Almost instantly I'm back in the jungle. All is quite. In front of me is a dark path of the jungle. It seemingly stares back at me. A twig snaps and I turn around to see Jaeger impaled on a tree branch. His body limp and dead. I try to scream but no words come out. I turn back to the jungle only to find it's not there anymore. Instead in front of me is Valk with one hand on her stomach and the other outstretched to me. Her eyes widen in fear. Why?

Valk: Y/N no stop!

I look down at see my arms are outstretched to her. And in my hands are my blaster pistols aimed at her. No no no no no no. Stop! I try to fight my body but then I feel the recoil of the blasters being shot.

Y/N: No!

I sit up in my bed awake. My body drenched in sweat and my heart races as I look to my side and see Valk alive and somehow still asleep.

Y/N: Just a dream. Just a dream. Breathe.

I fill my lungs with the air around me and I rub my eyes.

Y/N: These damn dreams.

I get out of bed and dawn my armor once again. I hesitantly pull out my blaster pistols and study them. How could I do that? Why would I do that? It doesn't make sense.

What is it that I will do?

Aaaaaaaand scene hope y'all enjoyed.