Start date: June 6, 2019
Proverbs and Ecclesiastes
End date: January 17, 2020
This is my daily devotional and diary, feel free to read along, check out my first two if you want.
This is the last one in a series of 3.
Hey guys. Sorry I haven't published any devotions for a while, the last few weeks have been tough. I'm often in pain, and I have a hard time walking, I have to hold onto walls or people to walk because I'm so dizzy, I can walk with no support, but if I do that, I walk slower than an old granny! Eating is quite difficult as well, eating always make me more dizzy and weak, I often have a hard time finishing a meal cause the dizziness and weakness comes so quickly, before I can finish my food. And if I try to do any physical activity, like standing up and walking, after eating, I feel like I might faint. I am always tired and take multiple naps every day. I'm still waiting for some test results, so far the doctors haven't diagnosed me with anything yet. I've done some research and I think there is a possibility I have POTS(postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome).
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I have most of the symptoms, lately I've been checking my pulse pretty often out of curiosity. My resting pulse is usually between 75-100 but when I stand up and walk it usually goes between 120-140, if I have a coughing fit while standing, it'll go between 130-150. I'm not sure when my next doc appointment is, but I'm definitely bringing this up with the doc next time I see him.
Will has been an amazing support through all this, I love him so much, I am so glad he's in my life! But unfortunately we some problems. We are very, very attracted to each other. We have a really hard time keeping our hands of each other whenever we are alone. It's gotten to the point where it's really not wise for us to spend any time alone together. It's disappointing cause we really dug our own hole. We want to get married but it's not really possible anytime soon with this economy. Will is a broke college student and I'm unable to work because of my illness. The only chance of us having money to marry soon would be if I can get disability from the government, but even then idk if it'd be enough. We just have to keep praying, God will provide a way.
Btw, I might not comment much on devotionals from now on, it takes a lot of effort at times. I'll definitely do what I can when I can, but I'm considering doing no comments, just a prayer sometimes. Also sometimes I might accidentally publish something that makes no sense, I often get really bad brain fog to the point I can't think straight, and if that happens when I'm typing here, I might type something illogical.
One more thing, I really appreciate it when you leave comments or pm me to chat, it doesn't take much to make my day. Love you all! 🤗❤️💕🤗❤️💕❤️💕🤗
1 Dead flies make the perfumer's ointment give off a stench; so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor. Basically, something very little can have an immediate and big effect.
2 A wise man's heart inclines him to the right, but a fool's heart to the left. While this is good, remember that the heart is NOT to be trusted. Deceit and wickedness from from the heart. That is true Will, but also remember that God can cleanse your heart, and create a new heart in you! If your heart is cleaned or made new by God, then good will come from it. You're still a sinner of course, but your sins are from Satan and your old flesh, not your clean new heart.
