You don't have to be alone

Chapter Three-Edited

Virgil took one last deep breath. He already decided to do it, now there's no turning back. He knew from the moment that he decided that maybe he should, that it would be hard. But who was he to decline a challenge? Maybe he should have thought this through.

His gaze landed on his hand a last time, before looking at what laid in front of him. And with a last determined nod to encourage himself, he knocked at the bright, baby blue door. Pattons door. After no response Virgil got worried. He slowly opened the door. "Patton?" The side was indeed there, seemingly searching something. Virgil let out a breath he didn't knew he was holding. Patton looked up from what he was doing and gave him a stressed smile. "Hey Kiddo" before returning to what he was doing. Virgil knew now wasn't the time but if he didn't ask now he would probably never.

"Patton, can... Can we talk? I-it's...important." Patton stopped what he was doing for a few seconds before continuing. He didn't even look up this time. "Sorry, but I'm pretty busy right now. Uh, why don't you ask Logan? I'm sure he'll help!" "Y-Yeah, Okay" Virgil looked down and left the room with quick feet. He didn't blame his Da- Patton. Patton, he didn't blame Patton; of course not. Virgil could clearly see that he had things to do and still was so selfish to interrupt him.

Virgil was on his way back to his room when he halted in his steps. Maybe he should ask Logan for help, like Patton wanted him to. After all he was the most logical side out of all of them. He might know how to help, even if he wasn't the best at emotions. Virgil nodded and went to Logan's room. He knocked at the dark blue door.

"Come in." With Virgil pushing the handle down, the door opened slowly in front of him. Logan was sitting on his bed, seemingly reading a book. As the door opened the side looked up, a surprised look on his face. "Anxiety, What are you doing here?" He put a book mark between the pages that had been open until now and put the book on his nightstand.

"I'm... not really feeling well and Patton told me to go ask you."

Logan adjusted his glasses so they rested perfectly on his face and looked at him.

"Can you tell me any symptoms for your not well being? Then I might be able to tell you what's wrong"

"It's...not physical" Virgil send a quick glance back at his arm. "...at least not completely."

Logan followed his eyes and understood completely. He sighed and adjusted his glasses once more.

"Listen, Anxiety, I know. But you're Anxiety. You're not supposed to feel good in this way. Shouldn't you've gotten used to it by now?" Virgil didn't know how to respond to that. Was ha supposed to feel like that? That thought didn't really sit right with him. But it was Logan who said that. Logan is always right. So it must be the truth then. Logan wasn't one to lie, he said it himself that he didn't see the logic behind those actions. Virgil just nodded in response, hiding his inner turmoil behind a carefully created mask.

He turned around and closed the door behind himself before sprinting back to his room. Is he really supposed to feel bad? To cry alone and die a little more inside, each time he sees the others laugh and joke together? He's supposed to do such things? Virgil closed his door and buried himself under his blankets. It was hot but he didn't mind that. He needed the feeling of protection that it provided right now.

They should have made a video together about an hour ago. Virgil decided not to go. They were better off without him. No one came to check or remind him anyways. But he didn't expect it in the first place. If they had the chance to do a video in peace without him, why wouldn't they take it? If Virgil was honest, he could totally see why. He would dodge his presence himself if he could. But he couldn't. So instead he just locked himself in this room. The room he felt most safe in. The room he knew better than himself. The room he always hides in. The room he got sick and tired of seeing.

He had to do something and he had to do it now. So without second thinking, Virgil grabbed his headphones and his phone and stormed out of this room he loved and hated the most. The side speedwalked through the hallways and past a few very confused sides before opening the front door. When was the last time he had been outside? It was so long he literally couldn't remember when he saw the green of nature the last time. To be honest, he missed it a bit. So he felt himself smile slightly when his hand touched the shiny doorknob. Freedom. Fresh air. Chirping birds and wind in his hair. All taken away before he could have it.

"Where do you think you're going?" Virgil groaned. He didn't even try to hide his annoyance by now. He knew he would regret it later and feel bad but right now, all he wanted was to go outside and leave the prison that he created for himself.

"I'm going for a walk" Logan frowned and furrowed his eyebrows slightly. The other two sides stood to his right. Patton almost looked a little proud. He was happy that Virgil seemingly started taking care of himself, even though he didn't quite understood Virgil's sudden need to leave. Roman had the same look on his face as Logan. The only real difference between them was that you could see the confusion better and a slight look of anger and betrayal. Where did those emotions come from now?

"One of us is coming with you." Patton and Virgil turned to look at Roman in surprise. Logan understood his way of thinking and nodded.

"I agree-"

"I want to go alone." Virgil insisted, voice almost sounding like a hiss. He really wanted to go outside but not with them. He wanted to be alone and enjoy the birds singing, the silence or his music. Anything but not one of the other sides babysitting him. The side didn't even know why they wanted to go with him so badly now.

"Nope. Pick one of us or go back to your emo cave." Virgil huffed over Romans comment and let his hand fall back down to his side in defeat, before sending them a last glare and turning around the corner. The young man wanted to just disappear. He didn't want to go back to his room. Right now he needed space, which he barely does. But he wanted to be with the sides even less.

"Why didn't you let him go?" Virgil's head shot up. That was Pattons voice and, apparently, the other wanted to hear the answer just as badly as him.

"You know, Anxiety was one of the dark sides. And since he still hinders Thomas in many ways, there is no telling if he would go back to them." That's definitely Logans voice. Wasn't that man supposed to be smart or something? But Logan thought he would go back to the dark sides? After all he had done? Well, maybe it's especially because of that... He still messed up so many things.

"And if one of us would have gone with him, he probably wouldn't go to them. Guess I was right." Virgil could practically hear Romans smug smile in his voice.

Oh, he was so going to sneak out this night.