Jin's Review Shop

Review: Out Of My Reach

Reviewer: Secret or BTS_Believer

Review for: yowassupkrease

What I reviewed: How the story is and how the author should improve and what they should add

Prologue
- Very very deep

- There are many spelling mistakes but it’s an easy fix.

- There are some sentence fluency errors, for example, words should be switched around to make the sentence flow better.

- In the above statement I would suggest the sentence “Made me live want to live long to meet you” to “Made me want to live even longer to meet you.” Or “Made me want to live long enough to meet you.” Just a simple fix but it can go a long way for understanding.

- I do suggest having an editor go over your story to make specific suggested changes to make the story itself flow better.

- I do understand what is going on despite these errors and I love the concept you are trying to convey.

Chapter 1

- Once again, there are spelling mistakes but I do understand what is going on.

- I can’t really tell if this is a flashback or in present tense as the dialogue is in italics but the regular text isn't.

- I feel as though the main character has a lot on her shoulders and though I get this through description, it could have been written just a little better. Like I suggested before, an editor could help you with specifics that deal with how a sentence should be structured so the reader has a clear understanding of what is going on.

- The introduction of other characters is cute, I like the relationship with Jisoo and Jaemin.

- I noticed that the dialogue is within the paragraphs when they should be spaced out a bit before going into more detail.

- Sentence fluency is still a big problem here as many sentences don’t flow well but the audience can still understand what is going on.

- I do highly suggest an editor but that is entirely up to the author.

Chapter 2

- Some sentences can be combined to make one long sentence instead of just having two short sentences open the chapter. Possibly change it to “I opened the door and waited for him to come out.” But I am not an editor, just a reviewer suggesting a change
Army should be ARMY and Bts should be BTS.

- Once again, the dialogue is right in the
middle of description where it should be spaced out.

- There are still spelling mistakes but are minor and are getting better as the story continues.

- I like how the main character meets Taehyung but his name should be capitalized, Kim Taehyung instead of Kim taehyung. I do not understand why his name also has a lot of ‘e’s when he first tell her, taeeehyung? If he was speaking slowly then please spell it correctly and state that he said his name slowly, this change would allow the reader to understand how he says his name.

- I feel like the dialogue that is spaced out correctly should be in regular text instead of italicized, the italics make it seem like it’s a flashback instead of present tense.

- I like how the story is moving along and pacing is perfect, I like how you put the picture of Jaemin for the audience to visualize him.

Overall Review

You seem like a very promising writer and I can tell that you like to write. I do suggest having you reread sentences out loud in order to catch mistakes before you publish.

If you need an editor to help you, this community also has editors available for you. I do like this book even though there isn’t really much of it to go off of. It’s cute and I can’t wait to see what you do with it, the concept is very original. Though there are many mistakes, they are simple fixes if you really look at them and I can’t wait to see what you do next.

For a book that is as new as yours, it is going very well and I’m sure that you will have a lot of reads in the future. If you do have any questions for me, please let me know and I’ll do my best to help you. Please keep up the good work! I’ll definitely read till the end!

Thank you for requesting here!