Review: Our Undying Love

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by BTS_ARMY_Community

by BTS_ARMY_Community

Reviewer: Ash or twilight_5bte

Review for: -sugaistic-

"Our Undying Love" is a beautiful Yoonmin fanfiction. The story takes place in a palace where Jimin is the prince and Yoongi is a maid. They were childhood friends. But without even their knowledge, they develop feelings for each other which shouldn't have happened.

Obviously, the relationship between the royal prince and a mere maid has its consequences. The plot of the story is pretty interesting as it goes on. As the author said, "Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts longer, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest".

The first 4 chapters were smaller than the rest. So, I found it difficult to completely understand the feelings experienced by the protagonists. It'd be good if you elaborated the emotions.

I found some grammatical errors, mostly in the first chapter and it decreased as the story developed. I suggest you to proof-read the chapters before publishing it.

The sentence formation was a little weird in some areas. Because it was written more like a line of poetry.

The pace of the story is excellent. It's neither fast nor slow. So that it keeps up the interest of the reader for the future chapters. The language used is edible for all readers.

The blurb of the story is little, but it's worth. It creates an urge to read the book. And I find the cover of the book simple yet satisfying. It gives off a royal vibe and helps the readers to grasp the type of the story. In other words, it really blends with the plot. Although you may change it to a more perfect one.

In total, the story's plot is indeed good and the pace is perfect. But I strictly advise you to go through your chapters before publishing it to avoid grammatical or spelling errors, and to proof-read the published chapters (mainly chapter 1).

Or you may also consider editing your book in the editing shop provided by the army community.

And all the best for the future of your book. Keep up the good work :)

Thank you for requesting here!