ʟɪꜰᴇ ꜱᴛᴜᴅɪᴇꜱ || ᴊ.ᴡʏ + ᴄ.ꜱ

Chapter 18

"Have you lost your mind?" Hongjoong opened the door while I was still standing and looking at the elevator. 

"Why were you so worried anyway?" I trudged inside and saw Soojin sitting in the living room with her headphones in. "And why is she still awake?" I walked over and smiled reassuringly to her, rubbing my thumb across her cheek and mouthed for her to go to bed.

"Everyone was worried about you and before you ask, no, she has no idea where you were." Hongjoong pushes me into my room. "Now tell me why you're going rogue!"

"What are you talking about?" I cover my eyes and fall back on my bed. "Are you talking about me being a normal human being and going on a date?" I sarcastically add.

"San you just told me that you weren't ready......you're worried about something aren't you?"

"And what would I be worried about?" I looked at him pointedly, telling myself that he was the one that was delusional.

"San I know you don't want to be lonely.....nobody does....but you can't force love. You definitely can't force your heart in a different direction either..."

I can't force my heart in a different direction. 

Hongjoong pulled me off my bed and told me to take a shower and think about it. 

✥

After my shower, I told Hongjoong about my failed date while we laid looking at the ceiling in my bed.

"She said your name while they were-" 

"Yes," I answered quickly not wanting to relive it.

Hongjoong pretended to gag making me laugh. "You're still as sexy as ever San. Look what you do to those poor women!" 

We both burst out laughing while rolling around on my bed. 

"I see your secretaries at work too, spreading their legs at the sight of you. You just make women delusional," Hongjoong added making me roll my eyes.

"What about you huh? Why aren't you out being the hoe I know you to be?" 

Hongjoong looked at me sheepishly before he hugged and looked up at me.

"What? Is there something I don't know? Are you seeing someone!?" I was genuinely caught off guard. I couldn't remember the last time he had kept a secret from me.

"It's just that I didn't know how you'd feel about it.....after I finally got over you I-"

"Hey! What do you mean got over me? You made it clear that I wasn't your type! I'm too feminine remember?" I sat up and looked at him incredulously.

"San....you're so oblivious it's insane. I thought maybe you just pretended not to know but you really didn't pick up on anything?--And I said you were too pretty."

My head shook back and forth in disbelief.

"I was so reckless yet you picked up on nothing... I literally moved into the apartment below yours." He looked at me pointedly and went on. "I came to you whenever you called for me San and when I say came, I mean sprinted. My desperation wasn't hidden in the slightest. On all of your birthdays, I took you out to be alone with you, excluding everyone else. When you were and weren't single." He laughed before finishing, "I remember telling every girl you've ever dated that they weren't invited."

"I just never thought of it like that! We're brothers in my eyes so I just viewed it as you taking care of me like that, brotherly love."

"Those we're only a few examples San. You can easily tell if someone likes you by the way they look at you or touch you..." he rolls his eyes at me. "You're too easy to fool, best friend."

This was news to me. I never even gave a thought to him crushing on me so why would I look for signs? I was in a daze.

"Don't pass out on me. Did you blow a fuse?" He smacked me on the back of the head. "I'm over you so you should get over it too. Focus on the ones who are in love with you now."

He was doing this on purpose. As soon as I came to terms with one thing, he sprung something else confusing on me!

"You're kidding right?" I couldn't tell anymore. I guess I could never tell if we're being honest.

"You figure that one out on your own. I'm sworn to secrecy by all of your competitors." He held up his right hand all seriously like how you would to take an oath before smacking my head again and laughing.

"Yah!" I pushed him off my bed and flopped backward, running back everything he said. 

Climbing back up, he turned on my tv and he too flopped back onto my bed. "What about Wooyoung? He just left after picking you up? I saw you staring at the elevator."

Wooyoung. Maybe I should call him to make sure everything's ok. He seemed like he had a lot on his mind so I guess I should give him time. I felt impatient though. He left so suddenly and didn't say anything, just squeezed my hand. 

"He seemed tired," I answered to Hongjoong before looking at my phone to see if I missed any messages from him.

Nope. Nothing. 

✥

Hongjoong was passed out in my bed the next morning with the tv still on. I must've fallen asleep from thinking too much. 

I saw Soojin was still on the couch but she was awake, looking like she hadn't gotten an ounce of sleep.

"Soojin-ah...I'll take you to your room and we can watch some drama?" I asked keeping it light since I know she'll talk about whatever's bothering her when she's ready. 

"Appa...I wanted to watch drama last night...with you. Why do you keep coming home so late?"

I ran my hands through my hair, irritated at myself.

"I think I've lost my mind," I say replaying the past nights in my head. 

"What're you talking about?" Soojin looked at me confused. "Appa you're fine. I think it's normal. I hear that young parents have a tendency to go rogue and have the urge to act young sometimes." 

What the hell? What am I listening to right now and who is feeding her this bullshit? 

"NO, that's not it Soojin-ah...who're you learning this stuff from? I-I'm not rogue.." At the word rogue, I felt my eyebrows furrow and my head turn sideways a little bit since it's not a common term. HONGJOONG.

But if she had that image of me then I needed to change something. 

"Uncle Hongi sai-" Soojin started.

"I got it. Don't listen to what comes out of his mouth about your appa. He knows absolutely nothing." What is he saying to my daughter? He's trouble.

Soojin just replied with an "mhmm".

"Soojin-ah let's go hang out together all day tomorrow. We can go anywhere you want. Want to?" I put both thumbs up and raised my eyebrows silently asking her as well. 

"Yes!" she responded with two thumbs up before adding, "Remember you promised", she pointed her finger at me, "-and I want to add on the rule of no complaining."

"Deal!" I grabbed her, squeezing her tightly and giving her a kiss on the forehead. "Pancakes sound good?" I asked feeling hungry now.

She nodded her head quickly before we both sprung up and started making breakfast together.

"So what are your plans for us tomorrow?" I was so curious since she said no complaining and maybe a little afraid she'd want to camp out at Sephora all day or something.

"Not telling!" she smiled cheesily at me.