A Different Way 『 An Eren Jaeger Fan Fiction 』

Chapter 10

[Y/n]'s P.O.V

What.. did that undercut boy do to me? Right, he spoke ill of me.

No lives were saved, and declaring their mission being a fail was all I retrieved from I'm presuming yesterday?  The same day I cowardly closed my eyes from my mother's death.

But why?

I was devastated from her death I blamed myself, but why didn't I shed a tear and instead cried from the soldier's deaths?

Could I have lost my compassion towards my own mother? That's straight up impo–

“Hello?” I laid frozen in my bed as a soft knock afterwards a door creaking completely cuts me from further brooding.

As I hear footsteps nearing my still figure, I immediately uttered out, “Let me leave. ” only to receive a giggle.

“I would love to but you're the only survivor that lived in wall Maria. ” the bed shrunk beside me.

And what's that supposed to mean?

“Didn't I told you beforehand, this none-of-your-business woman will pester your life until you're out of that depressing so gloomy state? Come on, you're in Wall Rose! Start a new life for you.. and your mother.  ”

Having the thought of losing compassion towards my mother, I disgust myself. Utterly disgusting.

The bed lighten as she stood up, walking around the room. “Once the pencil loses its sharpener, it can no longer perform its job; to write history,  and to write new memories.”

The footsteps came to an abrupt stop as the woman whom I remembered to be Hanke hummed. My eyes landed at her, “I'm useless now. It's best to dispose of me.” Hanke's confused; her head tilted, yet her lips twitches into a smile later releasing a hysterical laugh.

Her shoulders bouncing from too much laughter that she had to clutch on her stomach. I can't help but frown at the thought of her laughing at my depressing state– especially that I'm serious about the things I said.

“I'm sorry! I'm sorry!!” she slumped on a wall as she calms herself down. I waited for about a minute of her attempting to calm her hysteric self down and I was just frowning all throughout. “Whew! I only got one eye left but that made two of my eyes cry!!”

“Can I use your laugh as a bribe for me to return in Wall Maria and die ?”

“Oh what?” she mounted from the wooden floor, “I laughed only because  it's smart and wholesome of you to use the pencil and a sharpener to summarize the words you want to say.” I raised my brows, “You think a girl brooding is wholesome?!”

“Wait, no. I was trying to also be creative. Uhm.. I'm not poetic. What's the synonym of wholesome?”

Where is this conversation heading?

She sat beside me– abruptly grasping and stroking my hands. I didn't pulled back, I have to admit, it calmed me down.

“Tell me [Y/n], is the sharpener the only way to sharpen the pencil?”

“Y-Yes..”

“A knife, a pair of scissors, scraping it to a rough surface, and any sharp blade can sharpen a pencil for it to perform its job. There are multiple ways available yet you decide to stick and close your mind to one choice. The same goes as you blame yourself for your mothers death.” my head immediately looked up at her.

“The sadness tinted all over your eyes, through your voice, it's apparent. Don't be shock, you just requested for me to dispose of you not too long ago. [Y/n], you're more than a disposable mortal. You're an asset to Wall Rose; your experience at Wall Maria are already an advantage on its own in contrast to other trainees.  ”

“T-Trainees?”

“Hell yeah! You'll be going under Captain Keith's custody!! You'll be a training soldier!! Doesn't that just boils your soul out of excitement?!  ”

I pulled my hands in shock, “A-All I request was for you to kill me, w-why are we suddenly opening this training subj–”

“[Y/n], don't push all my advice aside. Your mother might've died because she bets her faith in you that you'll survive with all the knowledge you have from surviving at the place the titan's breached.”

T-That could be right.. Hanke actually made some good points. I was just too arrogant to accept them as like she said, I enclosed myself in a box.

My eyes promptly landed on the door as I sense presence heading towards my room. Hanke was curious since she also eyed the door, but she kept silent.

“Hanke,”

“It's Hange–”

“Someone's approaching this room.. I-I'm scared to face other people. Not yet.” she nodded as if she immediately caught my point. Though, she crumpled her brows, “How'd you know? I don't hear anyone's footsteps.”

A few seconds right after she spoke, we heard muffled voices and small yet haste footsteps. They seem to be in hurry.

“Eren she's resting–” the footsteps halted right in front of my door.

“Oh pshh, it's just Eren! And I bet Mikasa and Armin. I won't let them enter unless you say so, your call.” Hange stood up. “Please don't let them ent–”

“Eren!” as the door opened, Hange gripped on the door knob and pushed it closed– hearing the audible click has let me release a deep breath I didn't know I was holding. 

“We're talking about something important, please leave for a moment.”

“Commander Hange, may I see [Y/n]–”

“Right now, Ms. [L/n] isn't in the state of seeing anyone. ” 

Who even are they? Did my name really spread that fast around here?

“Let's just go, Eren.. you also need to still sleep.” another muffled voice. Later on, we heard footsteps getting fainter every second.

I look up at Hange and nodded, “Thank you.”

Her smile grew, “No problem sweety, now about the training corps!!”