A Different Way 『 An Eren Jaeger Fan Fiction 』

Chapter 36

[Y/n]'s P.O.V

My eyes shot open, and when I tried moving around, the bed I'm currently on wasn't as comfortable as I thought it'd at least be.

Huh.. they captured me.

I sat up from the bed. There's nothing in here except for a wooden table, a candle... my eyes lit up. I immediately left the bed– stumbling my way down the table and grabbed the notebook.

This is the notebook I saw before the fight right?

The cover was dirty, however the paper inside was kept clean. The first page was an empty one, but when I glide my fingers across the paper, I smiled as a flashback kicked in. 

I saw myself writing down in this notebook.. it's not me though.. I'm sure of it..

“Shinji! Here's your coffee.” I turn to see who it is and it's my mother. So does that mean.. this flashback is from my dad?

How–

“What are you writing?”

“Oh it's for [Y/n]. Give this to her okay?”

“What's in it?”

“It's our story.”

Out of reflex, I closed the notebook. “Oh! You're awake!” I woke Hange up. “I see.. you already opened it.”

She knows what's inside this notebook?

I turned around, “H-Hange where did you found this?”

“It may sound weird but I found that in your house. D-Don't ask why and how.. nevertheless you need to read that, inside that notebook is your story.”

I'm terrified..  however it's been so long since I've been searching who truly am I. My memory with Eren helped big time, though it doesn't go far back when I was born nor when I wasn't born and the story between my parents.

I sat on the bed– crossing my legs on the process and opened the notebook again.

Shinji [L/n]

My eyes enlarged out of excitement. Shinji.. his name is Shinji. I flipped the next page, and it was filled with my father's penmanship.

Hello dear, 

     I'am Shinji your father. If you read this notebook, know that this isn't a fantasy book you always wanted when you were a kid. Although the content may sound like it came out of a fairytale, all of it are true. My dear, father apologizes for the days he missed spending time with you because of my job you won't like.

    [Y/n], you're precious to me. You are our only child and so I have given you an ability to transform. You probably already know that. I injected you a titan serum which turned you into a titan. Aftterwards, planned the day for you to eat me and inherit my ability.

It did answered my top question. How did I got this ability to transform..  but a titan serum? Where did my father get that?

[Y/n] my daughter.. I'am an Eldian.

My eyes widened. I whipped my head to Hange and she looks as if she understood my reaction and nodded. “Go ahead, continue reading.”

M-My father is an eldian?! So that means.. he was born to be able to transform into a titan!

But still.. how did he managed to get a serum?

     I'am an Eldian that has the ability to sense those who are surrounding me. I can predict such movements and the ability to remember whenever you touch someone you've encountered with before. I used that to train myself in fighting– it's really useful so I hope you use it well.. because of that, I was accepted in the Marleyan society.

Although I was in pure shock, I couldn't help but continue.

    I killed my fellow Eldians.. the Marleyan society doesn't know I'm an Eldian myself. Out of guilt, and overprotection for the safety of my daughter, I've concluded I'll give you my ability. [Y/n], I'am not a great father, I could already tell you agree on that part after reading this.  I didn't managed to watch you take your first step nor hear your first word. All of those things, your mother witnessed it for me.. so please take a good care of your mother. I'am planning on writing more– trying to update you with how our life is going while you were still a kid. Stay tuned for that dear!

I flipped to the next page and it was empty.. No no no! There has to be more!! Don't tell me my father injected me that titan serum too early!!

I continued flipping pages– trying to find if there's more. There's still a lot of pages!!

Dad!!

“That's all written in there.. I'm sorry if I read it before you could.” Hange's voice stopped me from flipping pages. I hugged the notebook and ran towards Hange, “C-Commander, please tell me you found more!!”

I hit the bars, “Hange! Please tell me!” she mounted up from her chair and caressed my hands wrapped around the notebook, “Unfortunately that's all what I could retrieve from your house.. I'm sorry for not finding more” I stepped back and slumped on my bed.

I lift the notebook and for a solid minute, I stared at it. I brushed my hands against the cover, flipped to each pages and glide my fingers across– anticipating for a flashback and unfortuantely, I got none. 

“Hey..”

“Commander, I may never get another chance to say this but.. thank you.” I couldn't let go of the notebook, and pulled it closer to my chest, “Thank you for venturing off in Wall Maria and retrieving this notebook.. it gave me a lot of informations about my parents– specifically my father.. you are right.”

“R-Right about what?”

“Searching for different ways.  You played a big part in my life, without you, I wouldn't be here embracing my story. Now that I think about it.. it sucks dying without knowing the truth– c-commander?” I cut myself off when Hange started losing her firm stance and eventually, she was crying on the floor. I rushed towards the bars separating us and held her hand

“C-Commander–” she flicked my hand away, “Don't!”

“But commande–”

“Why can't I choose a different way then? All this time, I'm gradually starting to realise how stupid I'am for locking myself to one vision, and that's keeping you away from the truth. I know Eren killed your mother, so why didn't I just told you before things gets worse?” she wiped her tears, “That's because I want to protect you with all my power! If you find out the truth, you'll surely show no mercy and Eren.. Eren's one of our current advantage to protect us.. s-so I had to... I had to blind you from the truth!”

“Commander–”

“B-But why didn't I have any other alternatives? I'm the one who taught you that, yet ironically couldn't apply it myself! If only I found the courage to tell you.. if only I could control your emotions.. you wouldn't be in pain, in this jail, in the risk of meeting death.” she buried her face on her palms and continued sobbing.

Seeing her breakdown– her confession clicked something in me and I couldn't help but smile. “Y'know.. Hange.. I was always nervous whenever I meet you after my trainee days. At first, I was confused.. but as I see you more on the job, I realised I idolize you. You're  fit to be the commander, next to Erwin.. I thought you were an exemption from Chloe's statement about us being mortals because you are merely perfect on your own.. however after your confession, I'm happy I get to change my perception towards the people I view or label to be perfect.”

I sneak my hands through the bars and hugged her, “It's been so long since we let our emotions and thoughts burst out of our bodies, I miss you Hange.”