A Different Way 『 An Eren Jaeger Fan Fiction 』

Chapter 37

[Y/n]'s P.O.V

“Hange.. I have a plan.. let me join your war in Wall Maria for the last time and I can guarantee you I won't go against any of your plans.” Hange released from our hug, “[Y-Y/n].. I'm still a commander, I still go by the rules.”

“N-No there's no need to release me from the jail! All you need to do is approve of my plan, and I'll prepare myself for the war in this very cell. If the time has come, that's when you get to release me. However, I will still get the punishment.. I just want to at least redeem myself for the people I failed..” I wrapped my hands around hers, “But if you disagree to any of the things I mentioned, that's completely understandable.”

Hange furrowed her brows afterwards released a sigh, “[Y/n], you've caused many casualties.. I don't think the others will agree to this. Even if I did, their opinion is what I'am also looking forward to. ” and slowly, she pulled her hand. My hands involuntarily tried reaching for her hers back, but I caught myself and nodded.

As she stood up, I noticed her clenching her fists. She opened her mouth, and immediately closed them after our heads turned to our right.

“Commander. ” I heard his voice again. Hange nodded and left– leaving me alone with the newly arrived Eren.

“[Y-Y/n]!! You're awake!” keys clashing unto each other as the gates in front of me slid open. Eren welcomed himself and crouched, “Why are you on the ground? It's too cold!”

“Nothing's colder than my own childhood friend mercilessly devouring my mother right in front of me.” silence settled in the air.

“[Y/n] I swear to the gods above I didn't mean to kill your mot–”

“I honestly don't know how to react with you in front of me. My hands are itching for a knife, yet they are craving for a–” out of the blue, Eren placed his warm palms on top of mine. I couldn't resist, since seeking for comfort is what dominated my mind rather than the thirst of revenge which shaped me and brought me to this place.

“Tell me the real reason you ate her.” Eren removed his hands and surprisingly pulled out a dagger, “Before I state my reason.. you have a weapon to use in case you're ready for you to finally get your revenge,” he inhaled, “I let anger control over my body.”

At first, I just crumpled my brows– in anticipation for him to tell me more. However after he pursed his lips, I felt anger boiling within me.

“Y-You killed her because you're angry?!” he only nodded. “What's with the silence? Is that really all? That's nonsensical–”

“I know it doesn't make it any sense.. but at that time.. it does.” I pulled my hand and swing my hands, the slap echoed throughout the hallway.  He didn't budge, however I noticed his eyes landing directly at the dagger he placed on the ground.

I grabbed it and pointed to his throat, I couldn't move my hands– afraid of wounding him. “You want this dagger going through your throat don't you?”

“I deserve it.” I momentarily paused, and threw the dagger across the room.

“No, you don't. You don't deserve an anticipated death.. you know what you deserve? You deserve to go through more shit in this world, I'll let the world do its job and let you suffer until you get the death you never wanted.” Eren gasped, “[Y/n] that was your cha–”

“Seeing a sharp weapon passing through a flesh is sickening me already. Yes, I've been thirsty for a revenge for my mother.. however, after experiencing another death of people important in my life, I've concluded no one will benefit from my revenge except for myself.. and knowing my mother and my father's history.. I don't even know if they really want a revenge!”

Based off from the past wars, it's stupid of me to realize just right now Eren was an advantage to the humanity. Whenever there's a huge war, Eren never misses out.

Eren's their weapon, and it'll be selfish of me to take him away and let the existence of my own kind cease to exist– I've been selfish before and it costed the life of my two friends. It's sickening knowing the reason behind the death of the people I adore was either because of me or it was for me.

Furthermore, Eren and I still have connections. I didn't want to waste it, so the safest bet is to let the world decide for us. I won't go against it.

Eren opened his arms and flashed a beam of smile. I bit my tongue– to block my tears with the pain, nevertheless, the pesky crystalline fell and jumped in for a hug.

I heard him quietly gasp, but then started stroking my hair. “Even though life slapped us hard, I'm happy I get to share a hug with you.”

I dig my nails deep in his skin and closed my eyes, “J-Just shut up for a moment.. ” I stumbled on my words and even cracked my voice.

“Sorry..” He kissed my forehead. “Don't let this hug fool you, I still don't forgive you.”

“Forgiving takes time. Even if you don't forgive me, I know I don't deserve it either way.” I pursed my lips. Eren's hug was warm, and I felt like I'm yet again protected..

I nearly fell asleep– my eyelids started fluttering on their own, fortunately Eren slightly flinched and I immediately pulled from the hug.

“Hey, I know you're still worn out from the fight, have some rest.” he stood up and pat the stiffed bed, “Do you think everything will eventually go back to how it used to be?” I sat beside him.

“What do you mean?”

“Between us..” after realizing the statement I left off, I flinched, “I-I mean, between the four of us. Armin, You, Mikasa a-and me.. it seems like that's high unlikely.” he giggled, “You don't know how much Armin has been restraining himself from talking about the outside world since I was locked for how many days in my room.. while Mikasa, she seems neutral as always.”

I only hummed and started digging memories between Armin and I. He's talkative when it comes to his favorite subject: the outside world. And it seems like he's doing his best to achieve his dream.

“[Y/n]..” I looked up with a soft hum, “Hange.. she said yes.”

Y-Yes?

Don't tell me she agreed on my plan.. ?

“I heard your conversation and I didn't convinced her okay? She suddenly gave me these keys and ordered me to escort you back to your room. ”

Hange.. oh goodness, I love you!

“So shall we?” Eren walked out of the room and stretched his hands for me to grab, I took the notebook however just stood inside the cell,  “But this is my room.. ?”

“Silly, I meant back in the Levi's squad. Your room.”