✔ The Casanova's Angel (Filipino Novel)

Kabanata 48

Fighting for the man you love who doesn't remember you is a hard thing to do.

Akala ko pag palagi niya ako nakikita ay babalik ako sa alaala niya or even just a bit of attention from him will do. But he doesn't even give me the time of the day. At yung Nic na palaging andyan para saakin, yung Nic na napaka bait, parang nawala ng parang bula. He became someone he was before I got close to him - cold, calculative and narcissistic.

Just like now.

"Please, hindi ko alam kung bakit palagi kang pumupunta dito. Hindi ko alam kung bakit lahat sila sinasabi na I fell in love with you when in reality, I wouldn't even be near you kaya pwede ba, stop the act and leave me in peace." He said shooing me off. "Amira should be doing this and not you. She's my fiancé and I don't want you sabotaging our business deal. Kaya pwede ba leave." He told me this in one breath without even looking at me. He kept typing on his laptop like the workaholic he was.

This must be the 20th time he treated my like trash. Naalala ko the other day, I heard him fighting with Trevor. Trev was telling him how he'll regret treating me this way pag naalala niya lahat. To think that he was the one I was scared of before. Pero lahat kami, nahihirapan sakanya. Even Amira looked tired. This was the Nickko they never wanted to be with. The businessman Nickko Romano who build walls so high, even his friends have a hard time climbing through.

And even though, he's like this all I can think about was that he saved me. Saved me from myself before. I knew I will do the same thing he did to me. Save him from himself, from falling deeper to the darkness he was in before. I somewhat understand him though, he lost a part of his memories. Ang daming nangyari sa ilang months na yon. It's like losing a part of himself. It makes him vulnerable and with someone of his status, vulnerability is something he avoids so much. And so, this went on for a while. He just acknowledges the people he remembers. Pupunta ako sa kwarto niya, only to be shooed away like a fly. Just like every other day, I breathed it out and took care of him on days Amira can't. My aunt never visited ever since Amira talked to me. Baka nagusap narin sila. Amira and I became civil, not as close as friends but we acknowledge each other. These times, I appreciate her for sticking out even on the point of being treated like a business contract. We all know everything is on the surface. The real Nickko is sleeping amidst everything.

This went on for a while until he was discharged. After that, I lost contact. Even his friends don't know where he is. Only Amira does, but out of respect for him, she never told us anything. I tried going to his office but I was never let through. I felt like an outsider, and it hurt so much that I cried for days. I wasn't able to function properly in weeks kaya I asked my dad for another leave. Yung tipong hindi ko alam kung ano gagawin ko like how I was before when Gerard left me. Napansin din ng lahat. David and the others kept asking how I was to the point na nagpapadala na sila mga pagkain for me. Pero wala ako gana. Wala ako gana to face everyone let alone eat. I must've lost a few pounds in just weeks. Even Nina asked me how I was to which I ignored. Well, I ignored everyone. I wasn't in the mood to talk. I was spiraling in a deep black hole until someone knocked on my door.

"What?" I said opening it.

"Move." She said pushing through and going inside my apartment.

"What do you want, Nina?"

"To knock some sense out of you."