Andante

XVI

Softly he pressed his lips against Brett's, over and over again. They were finally allowed to be together and it felt so, so right. So good. His hands were in Brett's soft hair, pulling him closer, closing their lips together again. His whole body was full of the new sensations, their lips the starting point for the fireworks spreading out everywhere. Then suddenly, like magic, there was an intense feeling, like an explosion of warmth. It was like nothing he'd experienced before, but it felt so good, and he wanted to hold on to this feeling forever...

His eyes flew open in shock. What the fuck just happened? He was panting, and his heart rate was through the roof. He blinked, trying to calm himself down, as reality came crashing down on him. He knew what had happened now. Shit! Shit! 
No!! Everything inside him screamed. No! Not this, not now!
He closed his eyes with the shame of it, and allowed himself to curl up into a ball for a moment, before getting up. He looked at his alarm clock: it was only fifteen minutes until it would go anyway. He shook his head miserably. Why, why, why couldn't he just be normal? 
He sighed deeply and got out of bed, stripping off his boxers to wash them in his sink. 
His mother would have his absolute head if she ever found them like they were. 
Just as he was hanging the boxers up behind the cupboard, where he knew they wouldn't be seen, his alarm clock went. Time to get ready, because today was the day of his French test. Oh, and math tutoring again. 
Jeez Louise, was that really only a week ago, their first math tutoring? Was it really just one week since he'd met Brett? Wow. It felt like a lifetime ago. 
He sat down on his bed for a moment, breathing deeply, trying to calm himself down. And as he sat there he had to admit.... he knew he shouldn't, but he had to admit he felt better. It was like his body was less stressed somehow. 
Jeez. He sighed gravely. Well, it hadn't been his choice, so he might as well not beat himself up about it. Wasn't like he didn't know how he felt about Brett anyway hey? And he also... he had to admit to himself that he felt quite grown up now. 
He pushed that thought away as quickly as he could and put his clothes on. Game face on in three... two... one... 
He straightened his bed and got his stuff together. Nothing to see here, folks. 
When his mum wished him good morning in the kitchen he couldn't help flushing though.
Thank God she couldn't read minds. 

At three o'clock he walked to math tutoring, and he was in equal parts dreading it and looking forward to it. He'd managed to do pretty well on his French test, so he was pleased about that. 
He was also way too excited to see Brett again, but he was going to have to try and keep certain images well away from his head. And they'd be sitting side by side, just to make it all even more complicated. 
Oh... Brett being so close, so lovely and yet so dangerous... he closed his eyes for a moment and sighed again. 
God, how confusing this all was being. He'd never sighed this much in his life. 

A minute later he walked into the classroom and Brett was already sat at their table, beaming at him. He beamed back, but he couldn't stop himself from turning bright red as he crossed the room and took his place next to Brett. 
¨Hi¨, he said, and he knew his voice sounded shy. ¨You good?¨
Brett nodded, either not noticing or choosing to ignore his colour and his tone.
¨Yeah mate. You?¨
¨Yeah, fine.¨ Eddy lied. Well. He may not really have been fine, but he was definitely better now that Brett was here.