Andante

XLIV

It was getting easier and easier to sit in the cafetaria and block out the noise all around. They were usually a group now, the four of them, with people joining them as they pleased. Eddy really loved being part of a core group like that. But also it was easier because he was always, without fail, sat next to Brett and he was allowing himself to enjoy his proximity; the feel of his warmth, radiating out of Brett's thigh and into his own. It was like he was in two protective bubbles: the one that Brett and he made, and a bigger one that the group made. 

There was no teacher concert tonight; everyone was free, so they all made their way out of the building to sit in the evening warmth of the Sydney autumn, chatting and laughing. 
Some kids had brought their instruments out and Eddy shot Brett a questioning look. Would they? Brett's excited smile said: yes! They would!
They got up as if they'd agreed it and ran into the building to get their violins. 
¨Todd! Go get your cello!¨ he called behind him as he ran. 
They were both breathless by the time they came out with their instruments. Todd wasn't far behind, slowed down of course by the sheer size of his instrument, and together they made their way over to the group of kids that had set up an impromptu ensemble. 
People kept bringing sheet music, parts were divided happily and the whole group played for ages, until Eddy's neck and arms were sore and his eyes were glittering. Then someone produced a guitar from somewhere (a guitar? How? No guitars in an orchestra?) and they all sat in a big circle and sang corny pop songs. They were just halfway through a terrible boy-versus-girl rendition of 'summer nights' when one of the teachers came out of the building and broke the group up. 
¨Time for bed, guys! Early days tomorrow¨ he called, and reluctantly the group dispersed amid silent complaining. 
¨Well, that was fucking awesome.¨ he remarked to Brett as they walked through the corridor to their room. 
¨It was!¨ Brett agreed, smiling widely, and opened their door, letting Eddy walk in first. 
¨Good night, guys!¨ Todd called to them as he made his way to his own room, a bit further down the corridor. 

Eddy wasn't even thinking when he took his t-shirt off to get his bed clothes on, but then he turned around to go to the bathroom and he saw Brett averting his eyes quickly. He smiled. 
¨Do I look okay?¨ he said, and he didn't know where he got the bravery from. 
Brett turned bright red and cleared his throat. 
¨You do, Eddy. Very much so.¨
He smiled again and quickly went into the bathroom to wash up and brush his teeth.
Wow... Brett like the way he looked. He saw himself in the mirror now: bright, sparkly eyes, a pink glow on his cheeks. Yeah, this had turned out to be a very good day in the end... 
Brett was already in his bed when he came back out and he quickly turned the lights out and slipped under the covers himself. 

They lay in silence for a while, Eddy thinking about everything that had happened today and trying to calm himself down, when Brett's soft voice came from one bed over. 
¨Eddy? Erm, can I ask you something personal?¨
His heart was in his throat straight away. What was this about?
¨Yes, of course you can!¨
¨Erm... like, I was thinking about what happened this morning, and I wanted to say...¨ his voice trailed off. 
Eddy could feel his open eyes widening in the dark. 
¨Say what? Just tell me, I won't find it weird, Brett, just tell me.¨
Brett sighed. ¨Okay. I just wanted to say to you, you know it's okay to touch yourself, right?¨
Whoa.
That one he had not seen coming, and he also didn't really have an answer. Brett had just put his finger on something he'd been wondering about for a long while. How did Brett do that? Could he read his mind? 
¨I... Jeez, Brett, I don't know. I've always felt too guilty to do that, but then it happens anyway in your sleep, so I guess... maybe? I don't know?¨ 
¨I know what your parents will have told you, Eddy, but really, they're wrong. You don't need to be embarrassed by your body.¨
¨How... how do you know?¨
Brett was silent for a long moment. ¨Erm, well, because I've heard and felt exactly what you do now? And then I realised they're... well, they're wrong. Your feelings are not wrong, they're really not.¨
¨I think my mum would have my head if I did that and she ever found out.¨ Eddy whispered, feeling like he was revealing some of his darkest secrets today. 
¨Then don't let her find out. It's your body, after all.¨
Wow. As always, Brett was so wise, so calm.
¨I wish I were more like you, Brett. You've got so much wisdom.¨ he blurted out. 
He couldn't see Brett's face in the dark, but he heard the surprised movement. 
¨What? Really? Well, I'm always wishing to be more like you, Eddy. You're so sociable, so likeable. So strong.¨
Eddy shook his head in disbelief.
¨I'm not, really. You're the strong one.¨
Brett grinned very softly. ¨Well, we'll have to agree to disagree on that one.¨
They stopped talking after that, but it took Eddy ages to get to sleep. This had been one hell of a day.