Andante

XLVI

A few days had passed in a daze of music, friendship and furtively touching hands, and now they were into their second week of AYO. Eddy was quite simply having the best two weeks of his life, this he knew with absolute certainty, and based on how happy Brett looked most of the time he thought, well, he hoped it was the same for him. 
It was break now in the middle of yet another long rehearsal on the big stage, but Brett and Lizzy had stayed behind in the auditorium to play through a duet for two flutes that Lizzy was practicing. Brett had offered to play the second flute part on his violin for her, so Eddy and Todd were walking out of the building together for once. 
It was warm, very warm already, so they automatically meandered to a shady spot. 
Suddenly Todd gave Eddy the strangest look, and he looked around, like he was checking if there was anyone close by.  
¨Eddy, I... I wanted to talk to you about something, is that okay?¨
¨Sure thing mate, what's on your mind?¨ he replied automatically. 
Something in Todd's eyes made him worried, though. What did he want to ask?
¨Look, I know it's none of my business anyway, so don't say if you don't want to.¨ Todd started in a strangely soft voice, doing absolutely nothing to make Eddy less worried; he just looked at him and didn't say anything. ¨But, like, you and Brett... you're not just friends, are you? Like, you like  each other, right?¨
What?!
Eddy felt like his heart fell out of his chest and onto the stones underneath his feet. 
Fuck! 
He would have denied it, of course, but he knew very well that his open-book face would have given him away already.
¨Fuck, Todd, how did you see that?¨ he whispered. ¨Does anyone else know?¨
Todd shook his head and his words came out in a rush.
¨No mate, don't worry, I don't think anyone knows. I'm just... I'm just asking because...¨
Suddenly Todd's eyes welled up with tears and a small sob escaped his lips. 
¨I'm asking because I think I may be more like you guys than like a normal Aussie bloke, and I have no idea what to do with that.¨ He looked down at his feet and waited. 
What? Eddy's heart stopped for the second time in as many minutes. Todd was gay? Todd was gay and he was telling him? What should he do?
Eddy swiftly looked around as well now, but there was no one in earshot. Quickly he put his hand on Todd's shoulder and led him a bit further away into a corner. If Todd was going to cry, he was sure he wouldn't want anyone to see it. Shit, what was he going to say to him? I mean, it's not like he was an expert on how to deal with this shit, was he?
He vehemently wished Brett was there... Brett would know what to do! But yet, Todd had chosen to talk to him, so he had to do his best for him. 
¨Look, Todd, first of all, thank you for being so open with me, I know that's not an easy thing.¨
Todd looked up, his cheeks tearstained now, and nodded. 
¨I just need some help, mate.¨
Eddy nodded too and gave him a look that he hoped was encouraging.
¨Well, you've got it, okay? Not that I'm an expert on these things, you know. There's two... well, I guess now there's three people in the whole world that know this about me.¨
Todd didn't say anything, so Eddy carried on.
¨Okay, right, so, I think the most important thing is that... that it's okay to feel this way. You were born like this, Todd, so you don't have to change anything about yourself. How... how do your parents feel about this kind of thing?¨
Todd shook his head. ¨I don't know, man. I've never spoken very much with them about this stuff. I think they'd be pretty shocked, though.¨
He looked at Eddy, realisation suddenly dawning on his face.
¨Is that a big deal, where you come from?¨
Eddy grinned bitterly. ¨Yeah, you might say that.¨
¨I'm sorry, man. So... like, are you guys together?¨
That was a good question, but it was a question that Eddy didn't really have an answer to. He shrugged.
¨Not really. We... we can't be, yet. So tell me, do you have feelings for someone?¨
Tedd nodded morosely. ¨Yeah. A guy in my class. Completely straight, as well. It's hopeless. But it's opened a whole can of worms for me and now I don't know what to make of it. I'm so fucking confused, it's not even funny. You're the first person I've told.¨
¨Wow, well, I'm honoured you trusted me with it. You... you may wanna talk to Brett as well, he's very insightful about this shit. I... I understand very well how confused you are.¨
Todd nodded again. ¨It helps, what you said.¨
¨I'm glad.¨
Todd's eyes shot to the entrance to the building, and Eddy followed his eyes. Brett and Lizzy were coming towards them. 
Quickly Eddy added: ¨Look, we can talk about it any time, now and when we get back home, okay?¨
¨Thank you, Eddy. Oh, and could you tell Brett, maybe? I wouldn't mind talking about it some more, but actually saying it kind of sucks, you know?¨
Eddy grinned. ¨Yeah mate, I know. I will. You okay?¨
¨Yeah. I'm okay.¨