Andante

LVII

Eddy was disoriented for a moment when he was woken up by a loud rap on their door. 
Shit! It was time to wake up and take the long train ride back to Brisbane. 
Then he realised where he actually was. 
Oh. He was still in Brett's bed and he was lying in Brett's arms. 
Oh.
Brett stirred and smiled at him sleepily. 
¨Hi.¨ he said, almost shyly. 
¨Hi back.¨ he murmured, and gave Brett a quick, sweet peck on the lips.
Eddy never wanted to move, ever again, as he felt Brett's body so close to his own. He inhaled deeply, committing this moment to memory as well. But he knew... it was time to go. 

The whole group was a lot less rowdy this time, on the train. Everyone was tired, but Eddy also got the feeling everyone was sad. Still, it was nice to sit there, Brett by his side, and enjoy being with everyone for a little longer.
 It just so happened that, when he got up to go to the toilets, Todd was going too, and he realised straight away that Todd must have something to say to him.
Sure enough, when they were in an alcove, out of sight and earshot of the whole group, Todd put his hand on Eddy's arm to stop him going further.
¨Eddy? Got a moment? I just wanted to tell you... you know... I'm going to come out to my parents when we get home.¨
Todd's voice was brittle, but it sounded sure enough. Eddy gaped at him, unable for a moment to comprehend a world where it could be like that.
¨Whoa, wow, that's... wow, that's quite the step!¨ he stuttered then.
Todd looked at him with that open, earnest look he'd gotten to know over the week, that look that he figured not many people ever saw in Todd.
¨I know. But... I feel like I have to. I don't want to live my life hiding, even if I don't have a boyfriend now or anything.¨
Todd must have interpreted the emotions on Eddy's open face correctly, because suddenly he closed the small distance between them and put his hand on Eddy's shoulder.
¨Hey, mate, I'm not saying that you are, okay? I'm not saying you should do the same, I know your circumstances are very different, and I'm really sorry that they are.¨
Eddy shook his head.
¨I know, mate, I didn't mean to make this about me. I'm... I'm excited for you and also a little scared, I'll admit. Just... if you let me know when, I can be online after, if you want to talk?¨
Todd nodded, his face serious.
¨That would be really nice. I'm so grateful for the talks we've had, they've really helped. I just... I just wish I could help you too, Eddy.¨
Eddy's voice was sure as he answered him.
¨You've helped me more than you could ever know, Todd. Erm...¨
Whoa. Was he really going to tell him this?
¨When... when I told you what I told you when you... when you came out to me, it was like that clicked for me too. And when it did I stopped feeling guilty. That was the night...¨ he looked down, glancing up through his eyelashes, ¨That was the night I kissed Brett.¨
He wished he would have had a camera handy, because Todd's face was a Kodak moment if he ever saw one. He was elated, clearly, his eyes wide and his mouth open in a Kafka-esque smile.
¨What, for real? Dude!¨
Todd shoved Eddy's shoulder so hard it actually hurt.
¨Dude, really? That's... that's just all kinds of awesome.¨
Eddy grinned as he rubbed his shoulder.
¨Yeah, it is, but you don't have to injure my bow arm or anything, Todd.¨
Todd chuckled.
¨Sorry mate. But I'm really happy for you.¨
¨Thanks.¨ He could feel his face falling as he said it. ¨It's been the best, Todd, the absolute best. We're about to have to go back to the way we used to be, though. With where we come from... we just can't take the risk of someone catching us and stopping us from ever seeing each other again.¨
¨My God, mate, that's awful.¨
The look in Todd's eyes said it all and Eddy nodded. Yeah, it was. 'Awful' was a pretty good word to describe it.
¨Yeah. But you know... it's just a few years.¨
Todd shook his head. ¨Just a few years, huh? Well... sounds like a pretty big deal to me.¨
¨Yeah. Anyway, we should get back.¨
To be honest, Eddy didn't really want to talk anymore. He didn't want the tears to start, because he could feel the tide coming, and he knew that once they started they wouldn't stop for a while.
¨Yeah. But Eddy?¨
¨Hmh?¨
¨If... if the shit ever hits the fan, just know you always have a place to go to, okay? My parents... they wouldn't turn you away.¨
Eddy had to swallow then, or he would have lost the fight against the tears there and then.
¨Wow. That... that's so nice, Todd, thank you.¨