Andante

LXXXVI

It was the stupidest thing in the world, to be nervous. 
I mean, why would he be nervous? This was Brett he was with after all, Brett, who was the most patient, the most understanding guy in the world. 
But it was like his head, his desires and his belly were at war with each other as he sat at the dinner table with his friends, a different one this time because their habitual one had been taken by another group. 
All these emotions and all these thoughts were making his head spin. 

Suddenly Brett bent over to him and whispered in his ear.
"Hey, calm down, my love. It's fine. I'm nervous too and we'll take it easy, okay?"
Eddy smiled at Brett gratefully as he shook his head slightly, marvelling once again at how well Brett could read him. He just always seemed to know exactly what to say to make him feel better. He smiled once more and squeezed Brett's hand under the table, and then he sat back in his chair again and tried his best to enjoy the evening.
He should just try and listen to Todd's advice, he silently told himself. Because Todd had said that there was no right or wrong way to start this relationship, and he was probably right. So that's what he should be going with, period. No more worrying! 
Still, he was glad when Todd started yawning around eleven. 
"Right, if I want to play a decent concerto tomorrow I need my beauty sleep, guys." he drawled. 
The rest of the group grinned. 
"I don't know about 'beauty', per se, Todd." Ian quipped as he got up and picked up his plate and glass to take to the counter.
"That's nice." Todd said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I see I'm among good mates here."
Eddy laughed. It was clear to him that Todd and Ian were becoming close friends, and he was glad. 
He wanted Ian to have lots of friends. 

"Hey, why are you so nervous, my love?" Brett asked as they each put their toothbrushes down and made their way out of the bathroom. 
Eddy sighed deeply. Shit! 
Why was he so easy to read? And how was he going to put this? 
"Erm, God, I don't know, Bretty. I guess... I just don't know what I want, and I don't know what you want, and I don't know what's normal, and it's freaking me out!"
He was aware that his voice had raised about a sixth on that last part, and he sighed again, trying to get himself under control. 
"Eddy." Brett whispered as he put his arms around him, pulling him softly against the length of his body. "I don't know any of those things either, but we can discover them together. Now, can we please get to bed and can I hold you?"
Eddy relaxed into the hug, feeling Brett's soft belly pressing against his own so comfortably, the weight of Brett's arms around him, making him calm. 

And he would have said more, he would have done more, maybe - God knew his body wanted him to, but instead he just nodded. He kissed Brett once, quickly, on the lips, and then he pulled back the covers of Brett's bed and lay down on his spot, inviting his love in. Brett smiled slightly and swiftly lay down next to him. Then Eddy pulled the covers over both of them and snuggled into Brett's shoulder as if they'd done it like that for years and years. 
"You know you're going to rock tomorrow, right?" Brett said softly, his mouth right by Eddy's ear. 
Eddy smiled against Brett's soft skin. "I sure hope so. But I know that you will."
Eddy felt the nerves melting away now, finally, as he lay there in the safety of Brett's arms. 
Nothing in the world could ever make him feel as safe as Brett's arms could. 
His right hand moved now, seemingly of its own accord, sneaking under Brett's t-shirt and stroking the muscles of his back, softly following the contours of his shoulder blades and his deltoids. 
Brett made the most contented sound in the world, like a cat's purr, but so much more manly and sonorous, rumbling softly from somewhere deep within his throat. It was an awesome sound.
"I love these, Brett." Eddy said quietly, softly squeezing the muscle on top of Brett's shoulder. "You're muscly here but still so soft."
"I'm glad you like it." Brett whispered as he pulled him closer and kissed the top of his head.
 Eddy raised his head then, so he could kiss him properly, just for a moment, and then he settled back down. 
"Sleep, my lovely Eddy." Brett said in the most soothing, hushed of tones, helping him let go, helping him drift.