Andante

CXXXV

Eddy was pensive, as they walked down the stairs together, as he helped Lily put stuff for breakfast on the table, as he sat down and poured the milk over his bowl of cereal. 
He had never realised Brett might have insecurities. Now, his own insecurities, those he knew full well. How he never, ever felt like he was good enough, no matter how hard he tried, both on the violin and in general life. He had the bar set high, he knew that. But where else was he going to put that bar? Low? Compare himself to people with average musical talent, who didn't practise nearly as much? Where was that going to bring him? 
He knew exactly where that would bring him. It certainly wouldn't take him to a place where he'd be a soloist, now would it?
He'd never particularly liked the way he looked, either. He was too gangly, like he'd just told Brett. He'd just assumed Brett would see it that way too, really. Plus, his skin had become terrible over the last few years and he always had a million zits. And to top it off his hair was very thick and ramrod straight, courtesy of his Asian genes, and wanted to do nothing but hang limply over his forehead. 
This was all stuff he knew, stuff he lived with. It was fine. He could deal, simply by always trying to be the best, no matter where he went. 
But he'd never thought, he'd never seen that Brett might have insecurities of his own. Brett was always so strong, his rock, his support. 
Had he done him wrong, by not seeing? And what could he do now, to fix it? 

"Earth calling Eddy!" 
Lily was waving her hand in front of his face. "You alright, there?"
He nodded automatically and pulled himself out of his thoughtful funk. 
"I'm fine, sorry. Just thinking about next week."
He could tell from her expression that she wasn't buying his quick lie, but she smiled anyway.
"You know what? I have just the antidote for that. There are some card games in the drawer there, by the television."
In Eddy or Brett's house they would have been playing video games, of course, but there were none of those here. It was fun though, playing board games. Matt was already getting up and came back with a stack of Uno cards. 
Come on, mate. Get your head to where you're actually at, hey? 
He could think about all this shit later, anyway. So he dealt the cards and played Uno with his friends, laughing raucously at Matt's face when Brett turned the game around just in time to stop him from throwing his last card on the pile. Then he scraped his chair over the tiled floor, following Brett as he got up to go practise violin again, to sit on the bed spread and listen to the other one play. Matt and Lily were just settling back into the couch to watch some more of that silly soap. 
Eddy grinned knowingly at Matt as he went past the two new love birds to the stairs. He knew full well why Matt was watching that crap, of course. Matt raised his left eyebrow slightly at him, completely non-fussed, the broadest of smiles on his lips, and put his arm a little firmer around Lily's shoulders. It only made Eddy grin more. So far he'd not seen anything he was worried about with those two, and really, he couldn't wait to hear how Lily felt about it all.  
He trudged up the stairs to their bedroom, still smiling.
Wait, stop, hold the presses, was he actually looking forward to the interval at school tomorrow now?
He shook his head at himself and closed the door of the little bedroom behind him.